The Message, Volume 39, Number 14, March 2004 Page: 2 of 12
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Raising Jewish Children - Part II
is important to study and learn from our Tradition. Yes, it is essential
to have a relationship with God through prayer and introspection.
But these are only the roots and branches of the tree, the fruit of
which is what we do to make the world a better place.
Rabbi Eleazar ben Azariah [Avot 3:21] said: Im ayn Torah, ayn
derekh eretz - Without the study of Torah there is no proper behav-
ior. We need to learn from our tradition so that we may learn how to
be a good person. But then he also said: Im ayn derekh eretz, ayn
Torah - If we do not behave properly, there is no point to the study
of Torah. Being a scholar of Judaism is irrelevant if we do not treat
each other with kindness, if we do not strive to be a good person.
Similarly, our tradition teaches that the worship of God, while im-
portant, is immaterial if we do not perform acts of kindness toward
each other. Early on our Sages [Rabban Yohanan ben Zakkai - Avot
d’Rabbi Natan 1 la] derived this principle from the statement of the
prophet Hosea who, speaking for God said, “Lovingkindness I de-
sire, not sacrifice.” [Hosea 6:6]
In our schools we encourage our children to engage in mitzvah
projects and to contribute to tzeddakah. At home we can reinforce
good deeds by encouraging kindness and generosity with our chil-
dren. We can keep a tzedakah box at home into which our children
can donate some of their allowance each week. We can encourage our
children to be nice to classmates. Of course, most of us do that
anyway, but we can also put such behavior into a religious context,
reminding our children that all people are created in God’s image and
therefore God wants us to be kind to everyone.
Once again, our own behavior can serve as a model for our
children. Do they see us contributing to charitable causes? Which
ones? We should let them know, because they will then know the
types of organizations that we think are doing worthwhile things in
the world. Do they see us volunteering to help out here at the syna-
gogue, at a food bank or a hospital? We should let them know when
we do such volunteer activities because we are their role models.
Many of my conversion students ask me how much it costs to be a
member at Beth Yeshurun. When I tell them it is two percent of
income, many of them are surprised. They were brought up to tithe
their income - giving away ten percent to their church! I explain, of
course, that in the Jewish world there are other organizations that we
also contribute to: the Jewish Federation, Hadassah, Israel, or any of
numerous other organizations we want to especially support. Still,
few of us actually tithe, giving away ten percent. The national aver-
age for Americans is only around three percent of income. We should
at least try to do better than that, if not approach the ten percent
mark.
These are all ways that our children will learn what we value,
and will nurture their Jewish souls and identities. If we care about the
future of the Jewish people, if we want our children to marry Jews
and/or raise Jewish children, we must start at an early age to develop
their Jewish character. If they value Jewish beliefs and practices, if
they cherish the State of Israel, if they treasure our precious heritage,
they will most likely (there are no money back guarantees in this
case!) seek to preserve it for future generations.
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JkWiTH Rabbi Morgen
TTn my last Message column, I wrote about the question so many
I of us have: how can we raise children who are committed to the
X Jewish faith and the Jewish people? Such children, statistics
reflect, are far more likely to marry another
Jew because they want to share the values,
beliefs and customs they hold dear with the
person they marry, and to raise their children
with those same qualities. I suggested sev-
eral books on the subject, but then offered a
program based on the famous statement of
Shimon HaTzaddik, Simon the Just, in Pirkei
Avot. He summarized three basic and impor-
tant elements of fostering Jewish identity.
He said the (Jewish) world stands on three
things: on Torah (Jewish learning), on Avodah (Jewish worship of
God), and on Gemilut Hassadim (deeds of loving-kindness). [Avot
1:2] The Jewish people cannot survive as an identifiable Jewish
people unless we preserve these three essential components of what
it means to be a Jew. So, I argued, if we can teach our children to
cherish these three things, we will have gone a long way to securing
their Jewish identity.
The rest of my article focused on the first pillar of Shimon
HaTzaddik: Jewish learning and education. In this article I would like
to address the second and third pillars. The second pillar is Jewish
worship. I know it is challenging sometimes to bring our children to
school five days a week (if they are in the day school) or two and
three times a week (if they are in religious school) and then come on
Shabbat as well. But, learning about the prayers in school must be
reinforced by actually doing them, especially on Shabbat. Other-
wise, we send a message to our children that they don’t really need to
learn the prayers because after all we really don’t ever pray to God
anyway.
Beth Yeshurun is blessed to have special services for our chil-
dren: Friday nights we have Shabbat Yachad with Rabbi Strauss,
Saturday mornings we have Junior Congregation, once a month we
have Hillel Shabbat for our High School students, and of course we
also have regular services that children in sixth grade or older should
be able to attend and participate in as part of the congregation.
My father was a regular shul-goer. He went every week either
on Friday night or Saturday, and often both times. By the way, my
parents were Reform Jews and we attended the Reform Temple in
Tucson, AZ. When I was old enough, he brought me and my brothers
with him. Look what happened to me! I ended up becoming a rabbi.
But both of my brothers are also committed Jewishly. My older
brother continues to be a regular shul-goer and an active participant
and lay leader at a major Conservative synagogue in Los Angeles.
My younger brother became a cantorial soloist at a young age at that
same Reform Temple. Prayer is a vital component of a spiritual life
in any religion, and certainly in Judaism.
Shimon HaTzaddik’s third and final pillar is Gemillut Hassadim
- acts of loving-kindness. Judaism, as we so often say, is primarily
concerned with actions - what we actually do in this world. Sure, it
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Congregation Beth Yeshurun (Houston, Tex.). The Message, Volume 39, Number 14, March 2004, periodical, March 5, 2004; Houston, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth1318591/m1/2/: accessed July 16, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Rice University Woodson Research Center.