The Hereford Brand (Hereford, Tex.), Vol. 89, No. 69, Ed. 1 Sunday, October 8, 1989 Page: 1 of 24
This newspaper is part of the collection entitled: The Brand (Hereford, TX) and was provided to The Portal to Texas History by the Deaf Smith County Library.
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Breaking the chains
Mary was finally able to get away after
imaginable. Victims of tance docs offer is advice, protcc- which he expressed
The
Brand
24 Pages
McDougal to lead
<>
groups for 14 years.
declined from 21,165 in 1980 to an
......- -
---/
-♦4 —
T
0
8
8
9
The Hereford
Outreach Office
of the Rape Crisis/
Domestic Violence
Center helped
'Mary' break
the chains.
Read all
about it
in Sports,
Page 6A
Forecast for Sunday:
Sunny, 72__________
be during this period that Mary
(See MARY, Page 3A)
There's a big difference
in Texas schools from
Dallas' affluent
Highland Park to almost
anywhere in the valley-
Page 3A
mi
m
m
National
average
2.66 per house
needs, and to help themselves in
their spiritual relationships.
"We want to give not only a
officers and others to help them all
do a better job,” McDougal said.
Comedy clubs laughing I
all the way to the bank-
Page 2A
First came
'The Look,'
then the hitting.
John would never
tell 'Mary' why he
was hitting her.
'John' swore many
times never to hit
'Mary' again. He
was lying. "I must
have really loved
him to stay as long
as I did," Mary said.
Sunday,
Oct. 8,1989
Hereford
I
*
o
Inside
today’s
Hereford Brand
Obituaries--2A
Crossword—3A
Viewpoint-4A
Sports--6A
Scoreboard-8A
Real Estate—10A
Farm-12A
Llfestyles-IB
Comics-8B
Entertainment-9B
Classifieds-lOB
Hustlin’ Hereford, home of Wade Hatch
89th Year, No. 69, Deaf Smith County, Hereford, Tx.
give her the support she needed to
deal with her husband and his
violence.
That was the first time John-
swore to "never do it again." He
lied.
There is a hint of shame in
Mary’s voice as she analyzed her
reasons for going back to her
husband after that first full-scale
beating.
"I loved him. 1 did. I must have
loved him to !
years,” Mary said.
For whatever reason - for love,
for a faith that he would change -
U
for the concern of migrant children
has since developed into
Average household
size getting smaller
Deaf Smith
County
3.14 per house
Texas
average
2.8 per house
the number of single person house-
i__u. u_u j__i:____i ... nej
Nationally, the number of single
marrying later than previous person households increased from
state church group
By JOHN BROOKS
Managing Editor
Eloise McDougal has devoted
“ much of the past 25 years working
*
Herd 29,
Pampa 19
35Cent?
68Zf-fo66Z Xi 1 T5T
•JQ II9PUCA ’3 Z29C
•ouI ‘SuTqsyiQ''d . .■ J-"'" ^sawtu'dr
be found. girl, this jealousy can be exciting
"They leave it up to you," Mary evidence of his love. It was to
Mary.
Mary was 16 when she became
pregnant.
"Back then, you had to get
married," she said.
What appeared to be a solution
to Mary’s unexpected pregnancy
would prove to be a long-term
problem. A few weeks after their
wedding, John began hitting his
wife.
"Right away, the slapping
started, but I figured, you know, I
asked for it," May said.
John blamed his wife for the
violence.
"He’d say, ’you don’t do what I
say, so I have to do it’," Mary
remembers.
Despite the slapping, Mary
describes the first few years of their
marriage as "okay." That was before
the first truly vicious beating.
"Back then, I didn’t know ’the
look’ that I should watch out for,"
Mary said.
John gave her "the look" that she
would later learn to equate with
impending violence. That was just
before he struck the first blow.
Mary was carrying their second
child, still just a baby, in her arms
when he kicked her from behind. It
was the beginning of a merciless
attack.
"He just started hitting and
hitting, and I begged him to quit,’
Mary said.
She would be pleading for her
life before the session ended. John
would not even tell Mary what it
was she had done to "deserve" the
beating. When the opportunity
finally came for escape, Mary fled
with her children to seek the aid of
neighbors.
John called a member of his
family. He was scared: not for the
safely and well being of his wife
and children. He was frightened
he’d end up in jail.
"Now that I look back, I should
have done it. 1 should have put him
in jail," Mary said.
Family and friends rushed to
Mary’s aid. They helped to treat
both her physical injuries and to church-related areas and the lot of
underprivileged persons throughout
the state.
"We’re not necessarily all
Christians” said McDougal. ”Wc
Mary knows that the warning
not what they’re trying to push on signs were there when she first
women," Mary said. began dating her future husband.
What domestic violence assis- The jealousy and possessivcncss
I are common in
tion by utilizing the legal system the personality profile of a wife
and a safe haven until solutions cat. abuser. To an impressionable young
” ’■
to make sure needs were met in a
f areas.
The group has also worked with
the Red Cross, Community Action
"The World Day of Prayer and other local groups and agencies,
have lost, then in the developed through the need of
have a period of praying for missionaries at home
board normally reserved for men.
She has served on the executive
board of the Texas Council of
Churches, which represents 16
___ ______ _________ _____ denominations, for four years as a
helping those who need help in each lay-pcrson-at-large, and now will
have a scat as president of Church
women United.
"There is very seldom a woman
on the executive board, and very
few lay people," McDougal said
She has been working
18.3 million in 1980 to 21.9 million
in 1987.
Changes in household and family
elderly persons continue to maintain size are likely to have a number ol
their household after the death of a "-J ‘
spouse.
______ r ■„
While the proportion of children divorce as well as the higher inci- is likely to decline since smaller
in the population was declining, the
number and proportion of house-
holds relative to population increas-
ed from 80.4 million in 1980 to 90.8
million in 1987.
In Deaf Smith County, the
with a cause in which she strongly
believes.
For the next two years, she will
be heading Church Women United
in Tcxa:
Church Women United is a
national movement dial brings
women from all churches and
denominations into a single group
of prayer, advocacy and service
from a local community to national-
ly-
There are 1,800 local units
throughout the US and 52 state units
including Greater Washington, D.C.
and Puerto Rico.
In Texas, Church Women United
has members from 12 denomina-
tions that work in several areas to
improve the role of women in
good and worthless." It was easier
to agree than to heal from the
beatings.
Despite her compliance, the ”Wc want to give not only a "World Community Day was
physical abuse still came. It would spiritual boost but give training to begun in World War 11 to pray for
County households larger than average
estimated 20,100 in 1987, the
number of persons under 18 years
in the county fell more sharply-
from 8,118 in 1980 to an estimated
7,232 in 1987. That’s about a 5
percent drop in population and a 11
percent drop in persons under 18.
The population of the United
States increased by 7.4 percent from
1980 to 1987, but the number of
persons under 18 declined slightly—
from 63,659,400 to 62,832,133.
The national proportion of persons
under 18 declined from 28.1 percent
to 25.8 percent.
The average household size in there arc fewer children in a greater
Deaf Smith County declined from number of households.
3.26 persons in 1980 to an cstimat- This trend was apparent both
cd 3.14 persons in 1987, but that is nationally and locally. While the
still larger than the slate or national population of Deaf Smith County
averages. J*"*" “ --------
Nationally, the average of 2.66 is
the smallest household size on
record since the Census Bureau
began compiling household data in
1940. The Texas average is 2.8
persons per household. The Census
Bureau defines a household to
include all persons occupying a
housing unit.
Demographic experts attribute
the decline in household size to a
number of factors. A significant
number of those persons bom
during the baby boom from 1945 to
1964 elected to have fewer children
than their parents. In other words,
number of households declined These trends were less dearly
slightly from 6,487 in 1980 to an apparent in Deaf Smith County. In
estimated 6,400 in 1987. 1980, there were 980 single person
Several other factors appear to households in the county. By 1987,
have contributed to this trend, the number of single person housc-
Therc arc an increasing number of holds had declined to 954.
one-person households. Americans
arc i
generations. Additionally, there arc
more elderly Americans than at any
time in the nation's history. Many
O 4*
ELOISE MCDOUGAL
Church Women United is re- The group has done more than
sponsible for three widely-rccog- just meet three times a year. It
work with Jews and Muslims and nized events every year. They helped establish the Good Shepherd
others." include the World Day of Prayer, program here and has helped to
McDougal said her theme for the held on the first Friday in March; a coordinate efforts among churches
next two years will be "Redeem! -
Renew! Rejoice!" based on Lcviti- Friday each May; and the World variety of
cus 25.
"During the first year I hope we
can go through a period of rcdccm-
stay for all those jng what we have lost, then in the developed through the need of Through her work in Church
J second year have a period of praying for missionaries at home Women United, McDougal has
renewal," McDougal said. "Both and abroad,” McDougal explained, served in other groups and on other
years we shall rejoice. We know we "It has reached around the world. 1-----* ii« ••««««,r.>r m^n
Mary stayed. It would be the begin- are to rejoice in the Lord always." "The May Fellowship Day was
ning of years of physical abuse. The Although all state members and developed during Depression days
once assertive young woman found officers of Church Women United f L ------ r '------‘—
herself agreeing to almost anything are unpaid volunteers, McDougal and
being treated like an animal—for 16 years
By KAY PECK "You don’t have to divorce him.
Staff Writer You don’t have to leave him. Thai’s
We’ll call her Mary.
God knows she could be a Mary
or a Joan or a Sally or most any
name i
domestic violence come by all
names, colors, ethnic groups and
socio-economic classes.
Most have one thing in common:
their gender. Ninety-five percent of said,
all victims of domestic violence are
women.
Mary isn’t her real name, but her
16-year ordeal is very real. The
beatings would come and go, the
bruises would heal, but the fear, the
pain, the mental scars were always
there, the basic theme to a miserable
existence.
"You aren’t even worth killing,"
Mary’s husband told her once. At
the lime, he was holding a knife
inches from her throat.
Mary lay on the pavement,
bruised and beaten. She begged for
her life. It was one of the darkest
moments, a time to be remembered
in a haze of pain. It was also a
prime example of both kinds of
abuse which Mary’s husband-
wc’ll call him John— used in
making her existence a living hell.
Occasionally, her husband beat
and abused her body.
"The mental abuse was always
there,” Mary said.
It' is a common thread in the
stop, of abused and abuser. To
maintain the power and control an
abuser feels he must have, the
abused suffers from constant
reminders of "worthlessness."
"He was the male and he had
every right, and the female always
did what he told you," Mary said.
"Thai’s the way he was brought
up."
When he struck her, Mary’s
husband reminded her that it was
her fault because she didn’t submit
to his "right” to dominate.
Mary isn’t alone. In many
aspects, her story is typical of the
phenomenon of wife abuse. It is this
common misery which gave Mary
the courage to let her story be told.
Even hidden behind a wall of
anonymity, it would be difficult for
anyone to let others sec the kind of
pain and defeat which was the
trademark of her 16-ycar marriage.
She did it for a reason. She did it
to help others.
"Whatever I can do to help other
women, I’ll do it," Mary said.
Mary has come a long way from
the wife who was forbidden to leave
the house without her husband’s
permission. She’s a confident,
personable woman who has created
a plcasnant existence for herself and
her children.
"There is help,” Mary said when
asked if there was one message she
would like to give women who find
themselves in a situation similar to
the one she once suffered.
"The help is there. All you have
to do is dial that number,” Mary
said.
She was referring to the phone
number for the Hereford Outreach
Program of the Rape Crisis/Dom- I
cstic Violence Center of Amarillo. L
It’s just a phone number, but it’s a ■
phone call which can bring hope to
a hopeless situation. If a woman docs wish to leave an
Anyone who feels they may need abusive spouse, the domestic
assistance in dealing with a violent violence program can offer her the
domestic situation can call 364- shelter she may need during the
7822. transition to a new life. Emotional
For Mary, the eventual solution support provided by the program
was separation and divorce. Women can also help a woman obtain the
who call the domestic violence confidence which she may desper-
ccntcr need not assume that divorce atcly need after years of being told
is the only solution. she is "worthless."
May Fellowship Day on the first
V-"*’. •Fl/X W'lVrLI
Community Day on the first Friday
each November.
just to avoid the beatings. Every- hopes to have small training assem-
thing was her fault. She was "no blies where local units can be community. It is a day when lay
helped to search out their local people and ministers come together
to search out an answer for the
needs of the community.
"World Community Day
in a
peace, and we still foster the idea of number of areas w ith the state
peace in the world.” groups for 14 years.
economic and social cffFcis. both
nationally and locally. For exam-
Finally, the higher incidence of pic, demand lor larger housing units
dcnce of unwed parents has led to households and families will require
an increasing number of single less space.
person households. As a result, Additionally, the age of both the
there arc significantly more single national population and the that ol
persons living alone than in the Deaf Smith County can be expected
past. to increase in the future.
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Brooks, John. The Hereford Brand (Hereford, Tex.), Vol. 89, No. 69, Ed. 1 Sunday, October 8, 1989, newspaper, October 8, 1989; Hereford, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth1348554/m1/1/?rotate=90: accessed July 16, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Deaf Smith County Library.