[Theatre Under the Stars Guild Scrapbook: 1982-1984] Page: 82 of 204
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Letters to the Editor
THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS
Erskine Caldwell
requests the pleasure of y’alls company at
a Gala Evening
with Stars of the Frontier Fiesta
including a silent auction, gourmet dinner,
live auction and entertainment
(Continued from Page 1)
Saturday, November the 19th, 1983
at the(Westin Galleria Hotel/
BLACK TIE AND BOOTS
R.S.VP.
grab your pen and send in this here reply card right now!
9:30 PM — Frontier Fiesta Stars’ Stampede
Complimentary valets to handle your rig
All proceeds benefit Theatre Under the Stars.
"Starlettes of the Fiesta”
Indians Refuse New York City;
Don’t Want Sloppy Hunting Ground
Betty Tittles Brooks
Schalamahr Brunson
Page Campbell
Art & Robert Cochran
Mr. & Mrs. Sherwood Crane
Warren Dalton
Mr. & Mrs. Ray Dickens
Jay Dudley
Harriett Goodman
Dave Halphen
Co-Editors ..............
Cartoonist ..............
War Correspondent
Abasements ...........
Sassiety ...................
Photographer .........
Printer ....................
Kibitzer ...................
Janitor.....................
Joe Bowman
Ken Collins
Ray Dickens
Jimmy Dunne
Rudy Duran
Al Eisemman
Kay Emberg
RaceHorse Haynes
Jenna Coy Huddleston
Zollie Gallway
Peggy Fulcher Girouard
Bobbie Hainline Howry
Suzanne Alpha Johnston
Mary Matthews Lee
Diane Brunson Lima
Almeda Sears Lobelia
Myrna Sue Patterson McLeroy
Georgia Ann Marquette Ruffeno
Mary Jane Walton Stapelton
Mary Ann Pavlides Sterling
Georgia Ann Ruffeno
Show Director
Mr. & Mrs. Charles Hunt
B.J. Koetter
Mr. & Mrs. Tom Menefee
A. J. Montalbano
Harry Montgomery
Mr. & Mrs. Jim Newell
Georgia Ann Ruffeno
Art & Dannie Rutrough
Harris “Sonny” Johnston
Paul Keith
Robert Reese
Art Rutrough
Johnny Smith
Vern Thrower
Lennie Tritico
Jack Wilson
Welcome Wilson
Jack Wilson, Ralph Poling
......................... Ray Croker
........................ Len Stewart
................................. Bardly
............ Christian & Blount
Bill Steckel
Hopalong Scardino et aux
........................ Jim Palmer
.................. N. S. Patterson
GAZETTE STAFF
The Fiesta Gazette is a publication of the Press Asso-
ciation and Sigma Delta Chi Journalism Fraternity of
the University of Houston. Published once each year, the
Gazette is the official newspaper for Fiesta City, site of
the Greatest College Show on Earth. Call CH-1681, Ext.
328 for information.
City Deadwagon is Repainted;
Hearse of a Different Color
Jugglin’ Clyde Cole, accountant on the last three lines of Hamlet’s
Dear Sirs:
I wish to comment on the recent
speech made by President Jackson.
His delivery was alright but the text
of his address was terrible. I have
never liked his addresses. Especially
his present one, the white house.
With love,
Forenhand Culpepper
“Thank you very much for all the help, support, and enthusiasm the cast and set crew have
given in the same Fiesta spirit that was always visible 25 years ago.
A special thanks to the U of H Alumni office for their support and help.
The Gala Committee and the Theatre Under the Stars staff have all become Stars of the
Frontier Fiesta making this show a fun event for all.
Thank you ‘Frontier Fiesta’ style. ”
“Set Design and Construction Crew”
Hal & Jean Collins—Directors
Greetings —
This year’s Frontier Fiesta looms as the largest conglom-
eration of bewhiskered mankind ever te be presented in the
Lone Star Area bar none.
Stubbled pioneers dominated frontier days and Frontier
Fiesta provides a vivid reenactment of this hammer and thong,
tooth and nail era.
If you are after a show with a western flavor, a sparkling
boot, beard and buckskin drama, by all means see, plug and
back Frontier Fiesta.
STARS OF TEE FRONTIER FIESTA
Theatre Under the Stars Gala 83
November 19, 1983
483
I W .AA n
s.... .....
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sxee o .
more healthful, invigorating cli-
mate of Alaska.
The purchase of this worthless
land mass in the North American
Arctic was blocked just before the
end of the war by espionage agents
of Confederate state department.
The secretary of the now defunct
USA was negotiating with the Rus-
sian crown for purchase of the area.
Confederate agents intercepted the
check for payment.
The deported Yankees may home-
stead the frozen northland for 38
years and then make squatter’s
rights claims to ownership or pay
$7,000,000 for immediate purchase.
A degraded but livable bit of
land known derogatorily as Brook-
lyn will be held in reserve as addi-
tional reservation land in case
the Apaches have a need to ex-
pand.
Chief Geronimo, the outstanding
leader of the Apaches, says he
would prefer life in Mexico rath-
er than in New York. Another war
will be fought with him to decide
the matter, Colonel Calvert Van
Armada, declared.
“Me a boy of the old southwest.
Me no want no truck with—Ugh!—
Yankees,” Geronimo said.
“By Dan’l, if that contankerous,
Soliloquy. It was curtains for Rit-
tenhour who ended a revolting ca-
reer of 154 consecutive flops. Dead
but undaunted, he will open next
week as Caesar’s ghost.
Square - Root Houston, construc-
tion engineer for the Calamity Con-
struction company was killed as his
bridge over Dead Man’s Gulch col-
lapsed under a load of lead ore. He
was reported to have been caught
with his bridges down while trying
to get the lead out.
Shortweight Baldwin, a local gold
asayer, was stoned to death yester-
day by a crowd of angry prospectors.
Coroner Jones said that he died of
rocks in his head.
-----------0--
Assistant Directors: Myrna Sue Patterson McLeroy, Dave Halphen,
Harris “Sonny” Johnston and Art Rotrough
Music: Bill Gannon & Crew
“Stars of the Frontier Fiesta”
for Honest John Fleagle’s bank, was
perforated through the chest six
times by Honest John last night. By-
standers said embezzled gold pieces
from Clyde’s pockets were scattered
all over the street as Clyde jumped
out the window. Honest John got
him on the fly.
Tripod McElhinney, ace news pho-
tographer for The Fiesta Gazette,
was blown through three feet of re-
inforced concerte last week when
two kegs of flash powder upon
{
}
Indian Calls White
Buckethead ’Cause
He Has Pale Face
As a friendly farewell ges-
ture among enemies Saturday
the 78 Texas cavalrymen at
Muleshoe fort held a track
meet with the 3000 Apaches
in the Chinshe tribe who will soon
be residents of Staten Island reser-
vation.
The cavalrymen and their horses
lined up at the starting post and
the Redskins did likewise. (The fore-
going sentence highlights new de-
parture in sports writing, lively
simplicity.)
Then, with the firing of a 45
they proceeded at great haste
towards the three-mile distant
finish line. The sporty angle of
this event was the nature of the
track. It began 1000 feet from
the foot of a mesa. The hill sloped
at about 30 degrees on each side.
Noted Doctor Gives
Facts Concerning
Birds, Bees, Sex
(Ed. Note: The Gazette staff is
proud to have as its guest Dr. Snod-
grass Flimsey, noted scientist and
author of the best seller, the “Flim-
sy Report.” In this interview Dr.
Flimsey gives interesting and in-
formative facts concerning the at-
traction of male to female and visa-
versa.)
Question: Dr. Flimsey, in your
opinion do American girls make the
best housewives?
which he was sitting were myster-
iously ignited. McElhinney was
known to have been printing pictures
of Mimi LaPlanche, featured danc-
er at the Stars and Bars night club.
It is believed that when Mimi’s
image appeared on the tintype the
explosion occurred. Whether the ex-
plosion and the appearance of Mi-
mi’s torso had any connection is not
known. McElhinney is survived by
I two quarts of developer and a re-
financed view camera.
Miscue Rittenhous, Shapespear-
ean actor, choked to death last week
3
bodacious Injun don’t want to go
what we says he’sgo t to go, we’ll
change his “$&@zm!*? mind,” Col.
Jebb (Bonehead) Shortavenue, chief
of staff of the 36th division, swore.
You tell ’um Army kernel to go
to Gotham City hisseff. Me stay in
Texas and Mexico. For every brave
in my tribe he force to go north, a
pair of troopers me throw off Mexi-
can cliff,” Geronimo grunted.
During the recent war the most
famous of the sideline Indian-
white man battles of the Redskin
wars was fought in Houston. On
December 1, 1864, 47 Texans and
15 winoes fought off a five-prong-
ed flanking attempt by 799
Apaches and 38 armed canoes at
the battle of Capitol Avenue
bridge.
A Gazette correspondent writes
from Staten Island that most Yan-
kees are confused about the com-
ing change of their environment.
“Jeez, man, dere’s all kinds uh
animals up dere. My bookie joint
would be in jeapordy all de time
instead a just when de nags fails
me customers,” Lamdaglio Machool-
ian, Staten Island ferryman whose
hobby is horses, said.
“If de was men up dere, I would-
not mine so much, but de ain’t. De
ain’t nutin in dat place but bears,
snow, ice and skeymoes, Mitzi An-
FIESTA GAZETTE
knaws that a bureau is a set of
drawers and I don’t want my kids
reading about that sort of stuff.
Next thing you’ll be trying to tell
us that a brassiere is a metal hear-
ing aid.
pp AA > . A
! Cdiloniali
5. -
WANTED
$5,000 reward for Sticky McCohen
noted gambler and dealer in doped-
, up lolypops. McCohen is not to be
trusted. He’s been sent up the river
so much his friends call him Show-
boat.
His latest offense occured in Cal-
houn county when Sticky approached
a contender for the statewide horse-
shoe throwing contest and tried to
get hi mto throw the game. The
contender made a dead ringer around
McCohen’s neck at a distance of
fifty feet to cop the title. The horse-
shoe was about the toughest thing
McCohen had ever had to swallow.
Sticky sometimes travels with his
gun moll whom he met while she
was finishing her vacation and he
was the last resort.
When last seen McCohen was tes-
tifying at a statewide gambling
probe. When asked the question,
“Wuz it you whom held up th’ east
bound stage last year?”, by Senator
McPopover, Sticky replied,
“Ah refuze t’ answer thet qes-
tion on the grounds thet if I told
th’ truth it would tend to get me
strung up.”
6:30 PM — Belly up to the bar
7:30 PM — Throw your hat in the biddin’ ring
8:15 PM — Gourmet Grub and live auction time
Dear Ed., ।
I just want to let you know that
I got real prompt response to the
small want ad I ran in your paper
last week. I announced that I had
200 pullets for sale and the very
same day the paper came out some
theives broke in my hen house and
stole every dad-blamed one.
P. O.’d Plenty
Mister Editor,
I have been a faithful subscriber
for many years but if you insist in
using profanity I’ll have to cancel.
Last week you used the word bureau
in one of your stories. Anybody
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Theatre Under the Stars Guild. [Theatre Under the Stars Guild Scrapbook: 1982-1984], book, 1982/1984; (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth1589758/m1/82/: accessed July 5, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Rice University Woodson Research Center.