Brady Standard-Herald and Heart O' Texas News (Brady, Tex.), Ed. 1 Friday, November 1, 2002 Page: 4 of 14
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9
Page 4 - Friday, November 1, 2002 Brady Standard-Herald
Way Back When
by Tootsie Mitchell
11107S
ED Fig Ce
* 2002 Rochester Post-Butleun Co. L.L.C.
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Public school business was very interesting
A fter spending 40 years in the and about a mile back up the road, she Two boys were sent to my office
A Publaschoolburinessalthink was walking toward Melvin. for fighting. I asked what the prob-
Tbeckattne mostfunand worst She was skinned up a bit but was lem was, and one of them said, "He
The worst 1not hurt. called me a bastard."
The worst was driving a school Coaching was the most fun of all, The other boy said "I didn’t call
bus. ( nenimel bus back from my bus especially junior high boys’ football, him a bastard; I said you were acting
routes put the bus in the shed and One time while coaching the high like a bastard."
had a call from a Vhen I got tome. school football boys injunction, we Once a camera was stolen from
had a call from a parent wanting to had a very important game with So- the annual room. About six months
know where their little girl w as. . nora. later it was found behind the bus
she wel it back the bus shed, and • Just before the kickoff, we were barn. It had film in it.
Another i on e ac seat. . giving the last speech to a very in- When it was developed, the teacher
Tunfdnother time I was driving the tense group, going over last minute brought me the pictures. Two boys,
junior high team to Melvin to play a items. - who had stolen the camera had taken
a When I finished, I asked if there photos of each other.
. Th ey had yelled and made noises were any questions. One boy said, I called them in and showed them
they were andwhenwe gotto Melvin, "Yes, coach, where is the dance go- the pictures as asked, "D° you know
they were screaming. I stopped the mg to be after the game?" these guys?"
us and said to get quiet. , . The next job I liked less was being One of them said, "It looks kinda
They said one of the girls had the supenntendent of schools. In a like me"
a Excitedth turned The ofithebussmall schoollike Rochelle, wehelped I will have a book out later on the
tea, turned the bus around with the discipline problents at times. 40 years of fun.
lark Twain‘s tree house
his tree house thing has
gotten completely out of hand.
I have received cards, emails,
letters, phone calls, and telegrams
from all over the country, proving
once again that America is the great-
est nation on earth, where everyone,
no matter how poor, has an opinion.
If you’ll recall, a fellow in Mason
named ‘Tom’ built a tree house for his
son. He built it on his own land, but it
was too close to a property line on the
south, and too close to a street on the
west. His neighbor, ‘Dick & Harry,’
called the city to see if Tom had
obtained a building permit prior to
starting construction.
The vast majority of the missives I
received were complimentary, but I
did get twocomplaints. One was from
a relative of Dick & Harry, and the
other was from someone else Which
figures.
The problem with this situation is
that my column was somewhat vague
tn certain key areas, which made it
sound as though the neighbor, Dick &
Harry, and the City of Mason, were
being completely unreasonable in ask-
ing Tom to remove the tree house.
In order to try to straighten this
thing out, I have decided to go against
my principles here, and write a col-
umn containing a large percentage of
facts. Desperate times call for desper-
ate measures.
Normally I eschew facts. I much
prefer the Mark Twain style of humor
writing, which is not big on facts.
Mark once said that facts are stub-
born, but statistics are more pliable.
Not that Mark had no respect for
facts, because he also said, “Get your
facts first, then you can distort them
as you please.”
So that’s what I did in this case. I
got the facts, and then distorted them.
I didn’t distort them a lot, but some-
times it doesn’t take much. Mark also
said, “A liecan travel halfway around
the world while the truth is putting on
its shoes.” Which is what happened
here.
For instance, the tree house is not
exactly what most people think of
when they hear the term ‘tree house.’
It is not built in a tree, nor is it very
high off the ground. It is technically
more of a deck with a roof that has a
few trees growing up through the
middle of it. But Tom called it a tree
house, so that’s what I called it.
But I’ll call it a deck from here on.
Mark once said, "Last week I stated
that this woman was the ugliest woman
I had ever seen. I have since been
visited by her sister and now wish to
withdraw that statement." Which has
nothing to do with the deck, except
that I’m withdrawing the tree house.
Outdoor
Outpost
With
KENDAL HEMPHILL
dies
last
Now, I think Tom started out to
build a tree house, but it sort of snow-
balled on him and became the deck.
These things have a way of doing that.
And he didn’t need a permit to build
a tree house, but once the thing passed
a certain point and became a deck, he
needed the permit he didn’t have, but
he probably never thought about it.
Which brings us to another of Mark’s
quotes, which is, “It ain’t what you
don’t know that gets you into trouble.
It’s what you know for sure that just
ain’t so.” Which has nothing to do
with the deck or the tree house, but
there you go.
This deck, then, was in violation of
certain city ordinances. To wit (I al-
ways wanted to say that): Any con-
struction must be at least six (6) feet
from the nearest property line, and at
least fifteen (15) feet from the nearest
street. It doesn’t matter that, just across
the property line, there is an ugly, old
tin barn that does not comply with
these ordinances. The barn has a
grandfather, while the deck is an or-
phan, or pretty close. ′
It also doesn’t matter that the deck
looks nice and offends no one, or that
the street involved is a pair of tire
tracks in the grass that has never been
paved, curbed, or improved in any
way. It is designated as a street, and a
istreet it is.
A lot of folks weighed in on this
issue. KXAM television even sent a
crew out of Austin to come and inter-
view the people involved and do a
sort of Da vid & Goliath story about it.
Which brings us to something else
Mark said, “Noise proves nothing.
Often a hen who has merely laid an
egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid .”
Or maybe a deck.
This mess, has, however, given me
an opportunity to make a few points
about my column. I thought these
points were obvious, but again, it ain’t
what you don’t know . . .
For one thing, this column is not
part of the news. I write pretty much
whatever pops into my head, which is
often nothing, or very close to it.
The views and opinions expressed
in this column are not necessarily
those of the publishers or editors of
any publication in which it appears.
and those people should not be held
accountable for these views and opin-
ions in any way.
The views and opinions expressed
in this column are not necessarily J
those of the author of this column.
You can hold me accountable if you
want, but I’ll just deny everything
anyway, so you’re wasting your time. ,
I would also like to point out that
the city commissioners who had to
decide on the tree house/deck issue
had about as much choice in the mat-
ter as the nails Tom used. In order to
be fair to everyone, they had to rule in
favor of the laws, which are voted on
by the citizens of Mason. The laws
may need to be changed, but until that
happens we’re stuck with them, sort
of like we’re stuck with Kennedys.
My last (I promise) Mark Twain
quote is, “Let us make a special effort
to stop communicating with each
other, so we can have some conversa-
tion.” If we can do that, and avoid the
facts, we’ll have it made . ..
Kendal Hemphill is an outdoor
humor columnist and public speaker
who has, for the past five years, been
building a tree house for his boys.
Write to him at PO Box 1600, Mason,
Tx 76856 orjeep@tstar.net
h ANNUAL CWFBA ZAAR—The Christian Womens’ Fel lowship at First Christian Church of Brady will
hosttheir annualICWF Bazaar this Saturday, Nov. 2 from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. in the church’s fellowship hall located
on the corner of Second and Elm Streets. Showing off items available for purchase are (left to right) Rev. John
art, Nellie McCollum, Pauline Parker, Betty Whitten, Nonie Stewart, Sadie Nixon and J.D. Griffice.
Card of Thanks O
2.-22___. XJ
We were really surprised to see
the group of people from MHMR
come around handing out Halloween
treats. It was very thoughtful and a
pleasant change from the usual Hal-
loween custom. Thank you folks for
bringing us candy and smiles.
BRADY STANDARD STAFF
TERRORISM IS TERRIBLE
LET’S PROTECT AMERICA
ELECT REPUBLICANS
Pol ad paid for by McCulloch County Republican Party, Ken Bull, Chairman K
www.HeartOTexasNews.com
VALUES.
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When my grandparents bought land in the
small town of Ericksdahl in 1906, West Texas
was still a raw and untamed land.
One of the the first things they did when
they arrived was help build the town church-
chiseling rock from a creek bed for the church's
foundation. What they built was a monument
to their faith, values and decency.
I'm extremely proud of my grandparents
and the values that they and my parents instilled
in me-West Texas values.
It's those same bedrock values that I work
very hard to bring everyday to my job
representing you in the United States Congress.
I hope that I've earned your trust and
support for another term.
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Stewart, James E. Brady Standard-Herald and Heart O' Texas News (Brady, Tex.), Ed. 1 Friday, November 1, 2002, newspaper, November 1, 2002; Brady, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth1668826/m1/4/: accessed July 17, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting FM Buck Richards Library.