The Rice Thresher (Houston, Tex.), Vol. 74, No. 8, Ed. 1 Friday, October 3, 1986 Page: 17 of 20
twenty pages : ill. ; page 19 x 15 in.View a full description of this newspaper.
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OWLOOK/by Jim Humes
Hey Mr. Pizza Guy, the deviled cheese supreme goes here
Last week's 4th Annual Pizza
Guy Olympics was a cornucopia of
excitement, with a record turnout
and new records in many of the
events. The old adage "experience
preferred" rang true to life as the
Domino's Pizza guys gave an
impressive showing. But an
entertaining obstacle relay (avec
fromage)by the Z guys, and a
breath-taking synchronized
sausaging of a 16-incher by the
Presto contingent made the
competition a stringy, sticky circle
of entertainment. It was a
competitive showcase of the finest
pizza talent in the nation.
Of the many events, ranging
from "find the sausage" to "how
T>out if I keep the change," one of
the more exciting ones was the
thirty minute delivery run. After
being given the name of an
unknown street, the pizza guys
were unleashed in their Ford
Pintos. They had to make the
delivery deadline in order to avoid
a disqualification in the event and
a $3 fine. The real trick was to time
the delivery of the pizza so it was
on time, but still not so hot that the
toppings slide onto your lap,
causing a burning sensation in the
groin and a 5 point penalty.
Another speed contest was the
Fourth Ward delivery. Here the
pizza guy had to deliver the pizza
and obtain the money for it, all
before the triangular pizza sign
had been stolen from the top of his
car. Controversy arose when the
Russian team welded their sign to
Roger is one Jolly guy
continued from page 16
with Team Captain Mike Doyle
and Naval Academy transfer Joey
Steele sealing the Bears' doom.
Next the Nautical Owls put Texas
A&M at Galveston in the can with
a 1-2-4 finish. Doyle took line
honors in that race by half a leg.
The only low point of the day for
Rice came in their third race,
against UT. Numerous problems
resulted in a 3-4-6 finish. Though
they had lost their chance at an
upset, Rice still hoped to preserve
their claim as the best true club
team in the southwest.
Some last minute rescheduling
put Rice against A&M in the next
race. With the Aggies making post-
victory plans, Rice took command
of the race early. The wind had
shifted considerably and the
course had become a "drag race"
where the race's outcome is
partially decided at the start.
Shippey called aggressive start
tactics which ensured a 1-2-3
victory for Shippey, vice-
commodore John Wilson, and
Doyle.
As the scheduled sailing came to
an end, it became apparent that a
tie existed between SMU and Rice
for second, and the Aggies actually
cheered for Rice in the race-off
because a Rice victory allowed
A&M third place. In probably the
most exciting race of the day, Rice
started 1-4-5. Shippey's lead was
never challenged, but Doyle and
Steele used aggressive tactics to
put the drowning Mustangs
behind. Doyle slammed an
impressive tack at the first mark to
pass one SMU boat. Then,
halfway down the leg, Doyle
slowed down and allowed the
SMU sailor next to him. By
claiming the advantaged position.,
Doyle was able to pick the SMU
sailor and allow Steele to pass into
third. SMU was never able to
challenge again and Rice finished
1-3-4 to take second overall.
The Rice skippers were aided by
some fine crewing from Matt
Morrow (just back from training
in Rome), rookie Lisa Stewart,
Judy's drummer Matt McCarthy,
and Andrea "better late then
never" Pinson. The Nautical Owls
are looking forward to their best
year ever with strong dinghy,
sloop, and yacht teams. This year
Rice will get a berth in the
Kennedy Cup, sailed in Annapolis,
Maryland, home of the Naval
Academy, in Luder 44's. Rice has
also been asked to enter a 12 meter
in the America's Cup, but the finals
will conflict with final exams here,
so they expect to decline.
the car, but was resolved after their
murders by a group of "hungry
thugs." Pizza guys were allowed to
pay only $5 for safe passage out,
and the winner was determined by
how much money he was able to
return with as well as his ability to
"temporarily integrate into the
culture."
The competition shifted towards
the cerebral with the subtraction
competition. Given a coupon, the
pizza guy was timed in his
computation of the balance due.
Expired coupons were thrown in
with the valid ones, proving to be
an overwhelming obstacle to
almost 70% of the contestants.
A new event followed this year
with "translation: a timed reply in
English," included for the first
year. The pizza guy was told in
English a) no, this isn't the right
room, b) thanks, here's a tip for
you, and c) you mother is Estonian
and your shoes look like welders'
(the trick English phrase). The
pizza guy was then timed for his
correct reply to the statement with
careful attention paid to syntax
and grammar. This sportswriter
believes the event to have been a
failure. Given the divergent
dialects of the native speakers in
this melting pot of countries, there
were only four completions
(delivery of pizza and the return of
correct change) out of 34 attempts,
besides the fact that only 70% of
the pizza guys (whose first
language was not English) were
allowed to compete.
Throughout the competition
there were bonus points awarded if
the pizza guy was able to convince
the consumer that a) I gave you the
right change, b) that coupon isn't
good anymore, c) my watch says 29
minutes, d) my car broke down
and the money comes out of my
pocket, so please don't use that
coupon, and e) you did order
anchovies. Rice University
provided a scholarship the the
Pizza Guy School of Acting for the
winner of this event.
So next time you see your pizza
guy, pat him on the back and tell
him job well done. Pizza guys are
not mere laborers, they are artists.
Like rats in the maze of life, they
find your door and give your pizza.
Pizza guys make happiness.
Lazer Tag
There will be a mock Lazer Tag
game on Tuesday, October 7th at
7:30 PM at Autry Court. This
game is for all officials and players
who want to gain valuable game
experience.
Change your shoes as often as
you change your socks.
<30 <]<J 00 00
Goldfish Orange Nathaniel Hawthorne Red Envy Green
Hall Point Blue Charcoal Brtifuettc Chlorophyl
00
Blushing Pink Shocking Pink Neon Pink
InfraRed
Alien Green
The Ocean Blue
Blue Blue
00
Faded Denim
Spinach
Yellow Brick Road
<30 00
Electric Blue Armada Blue
00 00
The Grape of Wrath Georgia Peach
00 00
Your Basic White Pitch Black
How'd you like to change your wardrobe every
time you change your mind? You can, you know.
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Kaepa is the only athletic shoe that^
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/ Hrt Bnrwn
laxi Cub Yellou
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Winter Grey
Lobster
Red Banni
your closet. Your chest of drawers. Your school
colors. Even the stuff you left at your mom's house.
They go with khaki. Whacky Whatever.
And they're available in a whole lineup of
aerobic and fitness shoes for men and women.
So get into a pair. Because when you put on a
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Look for Owl Blue & Gray and all other Kaepa colors at
Foley's, Athletic Attic, Athlete's Foot, Oshman's, Houstonian, FootAction USA.
©1986 Kaepa. Inc.. San Antonio, Texas. All rights reserved. US Patent #3546796. Snap-in Ix)gos patent [lending
The Rice Thresher, October 3, 1986, page 17
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Gray, Lisa & Greene, Spencer. The Rice Thresher (Houston, Tex.), Vol. 74, No. 8, Ed. 1 Friday, October 3, 1986, newspaper, October 3, 1986; Houston, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth245644/m1/17/: accessed July 18, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Rice University Woodson Research Center.