Dallas Voice (Dallas, Tex.), Vol. 29, No. 11, Ed. 1 Friday, July 27, 2012 Page: 13 of 56
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wanted more children. Madisson has been an im-
portant part of caring for the foster children
they've taken into their house. She said she felt the
loss of each child as deeply as her moms did.
Giving up the first foster child in their care was
emotionally exhausting, Stokes said.
"We missed school and work," she said. "Our
families were distraught."
The Texas foster system, which the couple calls
among the best in the country, doesn't allow chil-
dren to languish. During the first six months of
placement, Child Protective Services searches for
relatives to take the child. The goal is to keep fam-
ily, or at least siblings, together.
The first child in their care had been with them
six months, so Acosta and Stokes began the adop-
tion process. Although no adult family members
were found to take the child, a couple in Fort
Worth who had adopted a sibling was found. The
child was placed there to keep family together.
Devastated, Acosta and Stokes took a short
break and reassessed what they were doing.
"After the pain subsided, we realized that's not
why we're doing this," Stokes said.
They realized they were fostering to help chil-
dren, not to fulfill their own needs.
"In Texas, it's not about the parents," Stokes
said. "If s about the best interests of the child,"
It's unusual for Texas to rank above other states,
especially on issues related to healthcare or LGBT
equality. But Acosta and Stokes tell everyone who
will listen that Texas is a great place for gay and
lesbian singles and couples to foster children.
"And if you have a child with a disability, the
state of Texas is the best place to be," Stokes said,
because of the services offered and the assistance
given to foster and adoptive parents.
After Josie's adoption was final, Stokes decided
to go back to law school. She spent a year at OU
but couldn't find any services for Josie in Okla-
homa. Scottish Rite Hospital in Oak Lawn ac-
cepted her as a patient and the couple moved to
Irving, across the street from Stokes' parents.
"Throughout the process, CASA held our
hand," she said.
CASA is Court Appointed Special Advocates,
volunteers who represent the interests of abused
and neglected ch ildren in custody cases so they
don't get lost in the legal system.
More than 700,000 children go through the fos-
ter system each year so CASA volunteers are only
appointed to the most difficult cases.
"Every child deserves to be safe," CASA Dallas
spokesman Katy Seitzler said.
And safe doesn't mean placement only with
heterosexually married couples in Texas.
Seitzler said Texas has no problem with single
parent fostering and adoptions, or with gay and
lesbian parents.
"We're just looking for good parents," she said.
She said they're also looking for more CASA
volunteers.
Volunteers are asked to commit one year, be-
cause that's generally the jurisdiction the court has
in foster cases. By the end of a year, a child should
have either been placed with other family mem-
bers or into the adoption process.
CASA volunteers attend court hearings and
Helping children in need
• Court Appointed Special Advocates
To become a CASA volunteer, go to Dallas-
CASA.org, click on "volunteer" for a list of in-
formation sessions. Call 214-827-9603 ext.
228 to register.
• Texas Child Protective Services
To become a foster parent through CPS or
a private agency, go to tinyurl.com/cdrqdzk.
On this Texas Department of Family and Pro-
tective Services website, download an infor-
mation packet, find a schedule of information
meetings and a list of private agencies that
work in conjunction with DFPS. Dallas and
Fort Worth are in Region 3.
• Report child abuse
Know of any child abuse? Report it by call-
ing 800-252-5400.
monitor the process to make recommendations
that are in the best interests of the child.
CASA program director Mary Timmons said,
"We're looking for people who love kids and
want to make a permanent home for kids."
She said the sexual orientation of the parents is
not something CPS looks at.
"The law is clear," she said. "You can't do that.
And anyone who wants what's best for kids
shouldn't do that."
She said that CASA is also looking for volun-
teers who want to make a difference in a child's
life.
That requires 30 hours of training and then vol-
unteers work with a staff supervisor. During a
year's assignment, a volunteer works more than
10 hours a month for the first few months and
then about five hours a month until the child is
permanently placed.
While not all children placed by CPS have
physical problems, many do have emotional
problems. CPS knows that gays and lesbians are
more likely to take children with a variety of prob-
lems and encourages LGBT people who would
like to become parents to contact them.
Medicaid and other resources are available to
help defray the costs of caring for these children,
but Stokes and Acosta warned that despite all the
resources, and the stipend received while foster-
ing, no one should go into foster parenting think-
ing they'll make money.
Doctors warned them Josie might never talk or
walk — or even develop teeth.
At 4, Josie not only walks, but runs and plays.
She also has teeth and is beginning to talk, all with
the help of an array of specialists.
Despite the problems, Acosta and Stokes
would have it no other way.
"I grew up Catholic and always wanted a tra-
ditional family," Acosta said. "We're a very tradi-
tional family. Both of our families are very
involved."
And now the couple is thinking of getting re-
certified for foster care and opening their home to
more children.
Seitzler said she can't think of a better home to
place another child, ■
tw& mUli&n/
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are lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender.
• Join the largest Community of LGBT parents in the U.S.
• Celebrate the diversity of our families
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• Contact Family Equality today
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07.27.12
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Wright, John. Dallas Voice (Dallas, Tex.), Vol. 29, No. 11, Ed. 1 Friday, July 27, 2012, newspaper, July 27, 2012; Dallas, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth308877/m1/13/: accessed April 26, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting UNT Libraries Special Collections.