The Atlanta News. (Atlanta, Tex.), Vol. 8, No. 39, Ed. 1 Thursday, May 14, 1908 Page: 2 of 8
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SI
TALL FISH STORY.
"Speaking about showers of fish,"
said the solemn-looking nature faker
from his seat on the starchbox, "re-
minds me of the time we were ma-
rooned on an island in the blue Pa-
cific. For two hours there was a
shower of fresh mackerel and, strange
to say, they all dropped into a salt
lake on the mountainside. That brined
them."
"Whew!" the old codgers chorused
in unison.
"But that's not the strangest part
of the story. Ten days later a cyclone
came along, picked up the brined
mackerel and dropped them into a hot
spring. That boiled them; and, gen-
tlemen, they were the finest boiled
mackerel you ever tasted. I thought
about sending some home to the folks,
but—"
There was a sudden interruption
and six strong men took the nature
faker outside and ducked him in the
horse trough.—Chicago Daily News.
The Rude Girl.
"1 wish sometimes that I could fly
And soar through the air."
. So quoth the callow dude.
Then said the maiden rude:
«Of flying fish I've often heard,
But flying lobsters, on my word,
Are rare, oh, very rare."
—Chicago Daily News.
CLOTH & FIRST, MAN SECOND.
Dolly—Have you proposed to any-
one yet this year?
Polly—No, indeed! I've r->t to wait
until I get my new gown finished.
Unnecessary.
"Mamma, did you ever notice how
Uncle Jasper eats?"
"No, dear; it is impolite to watch
your uncle while he is eating."
"But you don't have to watch him,
mamma. You can hear hisi eat."—
Cnicago Tribune.
He Prescribed.
Singleton—I am feeling miserable,
doctor. I can't get my mind on my
business, my appetite is gone and I
can't sleep. What would you advise
m-? to do?
Dr. Wise—Marry the girl. Two dol-
lars, please.—Chicago Daily News.
Police!
Jonesby—That Chicago man who
slept two weeks was arrested yester-
day. v
Smithson—What was the charge
against him?
Jonesby—Impersonating an officer.—
Judge.
* ■&■ U8ED TO 8UCH NOISE.
Jinks—Does that woman in the next
flat annoy you by her singing?
Blinks—No; I'm a bookkeeper in a
sawmill.—Utica Observer.
Willing to Oblige.
"Ah, Mr. McMicken," sighed the
Widow Hoolihan, "sure, an' whin me
oald man doled it left a big hole In
me heart."
"Faith, Mrs. Hoolihan," said Mr.
McMicken, "an' it's mesilf as is after
havin' a big heart. Would yez moind
takin' part av it t' fill up th' hole In
yer own ?"—Chicago Daily NewB-
Coldly Considered.
"I, sir," remarked the self-important
statesman, "was never approached
with a proposition of graft in my life."
"That fact," answered Senator Sorg-
hum, "may. be a recognition of your
honesty and then again it may be a re-
flection on your influence."—Washing-
ton Star.
Among Friends.
Path nee—I hear Peggy's gone in
for ballooning.
Patrice—Indeed! Well, she faiust be
happy. She always looked as if she
wanted to get her nose up in the air.
—Tankers Statesman.
Home Duties.
Mrs. Gabb (rushing in)—Oh, Mrs.
Gadd, why did you leave Silk & Co.s
bargain store so early? They've just
opened a beautiful bankrupt stock of
ribbons. Come right back, quick.
Mrs. Gadd (with a powerful effort at
self-control)—I cannot. Indeed, I can-
not; I must help my husband to get
dinner.—N. Y. Weekly.
AN IMPOSSIBILITY.
Staylaight—They said you weren't
home. Tried to fool me, but I'm not
such a fool as I look.
Miss Wearie—Yes—er—I mean, no
you couldn't be, or—that would be im-
possible, don't you know?
Probably Safe from Them.
Bjornstjerne Bjornson had just been
christened.
"We're a little curious to know,"
said his parents, "what the spelling re-
formers will do when they tackle that
name."
Thus far, however, his distinguished
name has escaped mutilation.—Chica-
go Tribune.
Succinctly Stated.
Visitor—I have often heard of your
"elevated - loop problem." What it it.
Old Resident (who happens to be a
stockholder)—The problem is how to
get the most nickels out of it with the
least expenditure of money on it.—
Chicago Tribune.
POOR VENUS.
"What! You did this and never told
me before? How careless of you,
Mary."
"Well, sir, I thought it didn't mat-
ter much, as the arms were broken off
already."
Working Fast.
Yeast—They say a fly buzzes its
wings at the rate of 352 times a sec-
ond.
Crimsonbeak—Well, when I hear a
buzzing sound I'm not quite sure
whether it's a fly's wings, or my wife
talking.—Yonkers Statesman.
Wayside Communings.
Wareham Long—Wot started the
hard times, anyway?
Tuffold Knutt—We did, ye ole fool.
We was sufferin' with 'em long 'fore
anybody else caught 'em.—Chicago
Tribune.
In and Out.
Binks—My sister is coming out this
spring.
Winks—How long "was she sent up
for?—Judge.
WOULD MAKE A HIT.
V
al
DOESN'T INJURE FRUIT.
Big Saving Effected by Electrical Ba-
nana Unloader for Ships.
At least two-thirds of the ordinary
waste accompanying the shipment of
bananas by water is prevented by
this electric unloading apparatus. At
New Orleans, where the machine is
in use, over 7,000,000 bunches of ba-
nanas are annually unloaded. Former-
ly this work was all done by negroes
who were stationed in the hold at one
hatch at a time. They passed the
fruit from deck to deck, and then to
the shore, as a bucket brigade passes
water from hand to hand.
With the machine, only a few ne-
groes are needed, the fruit is not
Mammoth Unloader.
bruised, and 2,500 bunches per hour
can be unloaded, says Popular Me-
chanics. The apparatus is built upon
a platform upheld by ten trucks. From
the platform booms rise in the shape
of a hinge which opens and shuts.
When ready to commence operations,
the hinge is opened and the lower
joint is dropped into the hold. The
canvas carrier, which revolves around
pivots placed at each end of the steel
boom, is divided by bars of wood into
pockets 30 inches in length and 48
inches wide. The fruit is loaded into
the pockets at each deck by negroes
and is swiftly carried up the perpen-
dicular boom and across to the wharf.
A lookout tower is stationed on top
of the machine, from which one oper-
ator controls the entire mechanism.
The trucks on which the platform is
built rest on a- track which runs the
entire length of the wharf, making it
possible to move the apparatus from
place to place. This is accomplished
under its own power.
ELECTRICAL EXPERIMENT.
Colored Pigments Thrown Off by
the Current.
Any one possessing a battery having
an e. m. f. of from 4 to 20 volts can
perform the following experiment,
which is particularly interesting on
account of the variation of results
with apparently the same conditions.
Immerse two pieces of brass in a
strong solution of common salt and
water. Connect one piece to the posi-
tive wire and the other to the nega-
tive, taking care that the brass pieces
do not touch each other.
After the current has passed one
or two minutes, the solution will be-
come colored, and if the process is
continued a colored pigment will be
percipitated. The color of the precipi-
How Wires Are Connected.
tant, varies considerably and may be
either yellow, blue, orange, green or
brown, and possibly others, depending
on the strength of the current, the
strength of the solution and the com-
position of the brass.
M_€CTRIC PUMP.
Niagara Pumps Water for People
of Buffalo,
An electrically-driven centrifugal
pump, operated by power from Niagara
Falls, is in active service in the mu-
nicipal pumping plant at Buffalo,
N. Y. The pump is of vertical con-
struction and is direct coupled to a
1,500-horse-power induction motor, op-
erating at a speed of 500 revolutions
Niagara Pumps Buffalo Water.
per minute. The pump's capacity is
25,000,000 gallons of water a day.
The illustration shows the* design of
the vertical electric motor mounted on
a platform above the pump. It has one
step-bearing and two guide bearings,
the former consisting of two plates
between which the oil is forced. The
weight of the motor is partially car-
ried by the incoming water acting on
the suction side of the pump, and the
remainder by a film of oil, so that the
friction losses are minimized. Forced
lubrication is also used for the guide
bearings.
NOVEL ELECTRIC TIME ALARM.
It Will Ring at Set Time Without
Winding.
All time alarms run by clockwork
must be wound and set each time.
The accompanying diagram shows
how to make the connection that will
ring a bell by electric current at the
time set without winding the alarm.
The bell is removed from an ordinary
alarm clock and a small metal strip
attached as shown at B. An insulated
connection is fastened on the clapper
of the bell, as shown at A. The arm
holding the clapper must be bent to
have the point A remain as close to
the strip B as possible without touch-
ing it. The connection to the battery
1s made as shown. When the time set
for the alarm comes the clapper will
be moved far enough to make the con-
tact. In the course of a minute the
catch on the clapper arm will be re-
HAD CATARRH THIRTY YEARS.
Gives
Pe-ru-na
Relief
Catarrh*
Electric Time Alarm.
leased and the clapper will return to
its former place.
NEW USE FOR AUTO.
Automobiles Equipped with Wireless
Telegraph for Army.
An automobile equipped with a
wireless telegraph apparatus was re-
cently shown at a Brussels exhibition,
CONGRESSMAN MEEKISON COMMENDS PE RU NA.
7 have used several bottles of Peruna and / feel greatly benefited
thereby from my catarrh of the head. I feel encouraged to believe that if
I use it a short time longer I will be fully able to eradicate the disease of
thirty years' standing."—David Ateekison.
OTHER REMARKABLE CURES.
Mr. Jacob L. Davis, Galena, Stone county, Mo., writes: "I have been in bad
health for thirty-seven years, and after taking twelve bottles of your Peruna I am
cured." Mr. C. N. Peterson, 132 South Main St., Council Bluffs, Iowa, writes: "I
cannot tell you how much good Pertina has done me. Constant confinement in my
store began to tell on my health, and I felt that I was gradually breaking down. I
tried several remedies, but obtained no permanent relief until I took Peruna. I felt
better immediately, and five bottles restored me to complete health."
A SINCERE RECOMMENDATION.
Mr. D. C. Prosser, Bravo, Allegan Co., Mich., writes: 'Two years ago I was bad-
ly afflicted with catarrh of the stomach. I had had a run of typhoid fever, was very de-
pleted. I could find nothing 1 could eat without causing distress and sour stomach.
Finally I came to the conclusion that I had catarrh of the stomach and seeing Peruna
advertised, began to take it. It helped me soon, and after taking three or four bottles
1 was entirely cured of stomach trouble, and can now eat anything."
Manufactured by Peruna Drug Manufacturing Company, Columbus, Ofeio*
Easy Victory for Pat.
An Englishman, an Irishman and a
Scotchman were one day arguing as
to which of the three countries pos-
sessed the fastest trains.
Said the Englishman, "Well, I've
been fn one of our trains and the tele-
graph poles have been like a hedge/'
"I've seen the milestones appear
like tombstones," said the Scot.
"Be jabers," said Pat, "I was one
day In a train in my country and we
passed a field of carrots, a field of
turnips, a field of parsley, one of
onions and then a pond of water, and
we were going so fast that I thought
it was broth!"
' T.'d
SKI
Where He Drew the Line.
A famous English barrister was
upon one occasion called upon to de-
fend a cook tried for murder, being ac-
cused of having poisoned his master.
The barrister, after a most able and
brilliant defense of the culprit, se-
cured an acquittal. The cook, anxious
to show his gratitude, said: "Tell me,
sir, whatever can I do for you to re-
ward you?" The triumphant counsel
answered: "My good man do any-
thing you can, but for God's sake,
floa't ever cook for me."
Army Wireless Auto.
and although the tall mast fitted on
top of the limousine would doubtless
be an unsurmountable inconvenience
to touring, such an equipment is now
being used in army operations and is
found to be satisfactory.
A number of armored automobiles,
thus equipped, and placed with the
different divisions of a warring army,
would make the transmission of or-
ders vastly superior to the ordinary
field telegraph service, providing, of
course, that the opposing army could
not catch the orders with a similar
apparatus.
"Nails."
"Nails are a mighty good thing—
particularly finger nails—but I don't
believe they were intended solely for
scratching, though I used mine large-
ly for that purpose for several years.
I was sorely afflicted and had it to do.
One application of Hunt's Cure, how-
ever, relieved my itch and less than
one box cured me entirely."
J. M. WARD.
Index, Texas.
Economy
in decorating the walls of
your home, can be most
surely effected by using
The soft, velvety Alabas-
tine tints produce the most
artistic effects, and make the
home lighter and brighter.
Sold by Ptunt, Drug. Hardware and
General Stores in carefully sealed
and properly labeled packages, at J
60c the package (oar white and
66c the package tor tints. _ See
that the name 'Alabastine* is on
each package before it is opened
either by yourself or the workmen.
Th* Alabastine Company
Grand Rapids, Mich.
Eastern Office, 105 Water Street,
Hew York City.
Hotel Clerk—What's the reason that
you're going to leave us, Miss De
Swefle? Are you dissatisfied with the
service here?
Miss De Swelle—Oh, not at all, but
the stationery at the Smith house has
such a beautiful crest on it and looks
so much more genteel than yours that
I've taken rooms there.—Chicago DalTy
News.
Tempering by Electricity.
A revolution in tempering armor
plate is expected to result from the
Invention of an American naval officer,
which consists of a method of face-
hardening by electricity. Carbon is
distributed in powdered form over the
face of the plate and then electrodes
are applied. The carbon works down
through the plate to the depth re-
quired, or so far as it is heated. Its
highest efficiency is on the face of the
plate, gradually decreasing toward the
center, leaving the inner side of the
plate tough and pliable. The old
method is the Krupp or Harvey sys-
tem of annealing.
Electricity in Primary Stage.
At a "banquet given by the heads of
the departments of the Edison work-
shops in honor of Thomas A. Edison's
sixty-first birthday, the electrical wiz-
ard in a short address made the state-
ment that electricity had not yet been
developed beyond its primary stage.
"The possibilities of the development
of this great agency are so boundless
that we cannot now even comprehend
them. I have done little in compari-
son with what the future holdB. Two
hundred years from to-day the inhabi-
tants of this planet will regard the
achievements of the present day in
electricity a3 the mere beginning of a
master science."
Thoughtless.
"Why doesn't Mrs. Flighty wear !
(hat pink dress with her red hair?"
"She probably bought the dress be- }
fore she changed from a brunette."
Hicks' Capudine Cures Headache,
Whether from colds, heat, stomach or
nervous troubles. No Acetanllid or dan-
gerous drugs. It's liquid and acts Imme-
diately. Trial bottle 10c. Regular 25c and
50c at all durggists.
Way to Judge a Man.
There are two good ways to judge a
man—by what he doesn't pay and by
what he doesn't say.
Garfield Tea is a natural laxative—it reg-
ulates the digestion, purifies the blood,
cleanses the system, clears the complexion,
brightens the eyes and brings the glow of
splendid Health!
MADE FOR SERVICE
IN THE ROUGHEST WEATHER
AND GUARANTEED ABSOLUTELY
^WATERPROOF
I, POMMEL
^ SLICKERS
$350
This trade mark
and the word
Tower on the
buttons distin-
, guish this high
grade slicker from
the just as good
brands
If a man has brains back of his fore-
head he never has time to consult a
beauty doctor.
ADEADSHOTi
f or Jomrton Grass
and equally sura
Kmear for Ber-
muda isDlns-
mine. WilrHoB.
Frank Kelt, president of the Wichita Mill & Kleva-
tor Company, Wichita Falls. Texas. Try it and
you will say the flame. Ask your dealer for IHna-
111 me or send as $6.75 and we will ship you Are
gallons which wi 11 make tlftyacallons of strong treat-
ing fluid. Pont put it off. Get It now. A few deal-
ers'agencies still open. Address Dept. I),
Interstate Chemical Works, - 6aliestofi.
Adopt Fulminate Powder.
By a tote of miners and mine offi-
cials it was decided to adopt fulminate
powder as an explosive in the Hazel
mine at Canonsburg, Pa., the belief
being that this explosive is much less
liable to cause explosions of gas than
the powder formerly used.
There is Only One
"Bromo QuSnSne99
That is
Laxative Bromo Quinine
USED THE WORLD OVER TO CURE A OOLD IM OWE DAY.
Always remember the full name. Look
for this signature on every box. 25c.
Wife*
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The Atlanta News. (Atlanta, Tex.), Vol. 8, No. 39, Ed. 1 Thursday, May 14, 1908, newspaper, May 14, 1908; Atlanta, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth329804/m1/2/?q=wichita+falls: accessed July 17, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Atlanta Public Library.