The Temple Daily Telegram (Temple, Tex.), Vol. 7, No. 124, Ed. 1 Tuesday, March 24, 1914 Page: 10 of 12
twelve pages : ill. ; page 20 x 16 in. Digitized from 35 mm. microfilm.View a full description of this newspaper.
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He Finally Won
nETTIE," orled the enamored
young man. "I love you, and
would go to the world's end for
you."
"Oh, no, you wouldn't, James," re-
torted the girl, "The world, or the
earth, as It Is called, Is round like a
ball, therefore It has no end."
"Yes, I know," continued the young
man, "but what I meant was that I'd
do anything to please you. Ah! Dear-;
•'St, If you know the aching void—-"I
"Now, I am surprised, JamM," In- {
terrupted the girl, "Nature abhors aj
vacuum, and there Is no suoh thing as!
a void; but admitting that there could j
be such a thing, how could the v.oid;
you speak of be void If there was an j
ache In It?"
"Oh, well," rejoined the young man,
"at least I've got cash and property
amounting to nearly $100,000, and I
want you to be my wife. So there!"
"James," rejoined the fair on®, with-
out a moment's hesitation, "since you
put It in that light, I haven't the haart
to refuse you. Let the wedding bells
ring without unnecessary delay."
SUBSTANTIAL APPETITE.
"Come, lead a butterfly life with me,"
He whispered beneath the bowers.
"No, thanks," the practical girl re-
plied,
"I eat beefsteak, not flowers."
ONLY TIME HE WOULD QUIT,
Your husband tells me he has quit playing (ho races.
Pear me! I'm so sorry to hear that!
Don't you think it Indicates a good intention on his part?
N'o; it Indicates that he has no money left.
P
MODERN PHILOSOPHY.
The Hippo—I never could understand why the good eating stuff grows
ho high up on trees.
The Giraffe—-Oh, my dear sir, why worry about things above your sta-
| tion in life? Let those with long necks solve that problem.
AFTER VACATION.
'Tis lone where ocean billows swell;
'Tis lone where breakers dash
The keeper of the beach hotel
Is counting up his cash.
The Child Had To Wait His Turn
J\
arcvo mhx ao vaai >ihh
They used to say football was brutal, but
W'tfey
W orse
H ubby—- Anybody hurt in the game, my dear
Wtfey—Hurt? Why, gracious. William! The
different players died at second base.
baseball is even
papers say that three
LADY in a small Alabama town
had occasion to call at the cabin
of her washerwoman, Aunt Bet-
sy. While waiting for the article she
sought to be found she observed a
woolly head which appeared from un-
der the edge of the bed and asked:
"Is that one of your children, Aunt
Betsy?"
" 'Deed an' 'tis, honey," was the re-
ply.
"What is Its name?"
"Dal chile ain't got no nam# yet,
Miss Rosa," Aunt Betsy said.
"Why, It must be Ave or six years
Jff3'
NOT MUCH.
Isn't It a relief to have these children of yours bark In school again?
N »t mu« h Th*»y Just learn a lot of new questions to ask.
old. Surely it ought to have a name wait twell one ob dem die, so he can
at that age," the lady said.
Aunt Betsy nodded.
"Dat done worried me a whole lot,
honey. Hit sho' has," she said. "But
whut Ah gwine do? My ole man he
done used up all de good names on de
dawgs, 'an now dat chile des hatter
git his name."
THE REASON.
Jlggs—You say you despise the city,
why do you live in It?
Dlggs—To make money enough to
keep my country place.
r
AWFULLY DULL.
Marion—So the place you spent your vacation got to be
Evelyn—-Just dreadful, dear. Toward the end I had to
again to a young man I was In love with early in the summer.
awfully duilT
get engaged
NOT APPRECIATIVE.
Was the play you tried in that coun-
try town a success?
THtr; v'T-!i h
! ■ ( l ! i ' ! ! 3 l I •
ryrTTi
m
A POOR SUITOR.
She—Why, Willie, you only make a penny now anu then'runnln' er-
rand*. That wouldn't keep me in ;iodys.
HIS SPECIALTY.
Some people to the table bring
Not exaotly; we played before six! ^ laggard grace and visage 111,
coal oil lamps and three of them j The dinner bell's delightful ring
went out after the first act. | Awakes in them no Joyous thrill.
the
But when beside the board I sit,
No gloomy looks are mine
while.
And if they serve my favorite bit
My face will hardly hold my smile.
His Decision
ONE day while walking with a (question, they agreed, in a spirit of
friend In San Francisco the pro-j fun, to leave It to the decision of a
fessor of a well-known university j Chinaman who was seen approaching
and his companion became involve^ in ! them. The matter being laid before
an argument as to which was the hand- j him. the Oriental then considered long
somer man of the two. Not being and carefully; then he announced In
able to arrive at a settlement of the) a tone of finality, "Both are worse."
One More
CHE m.ncr dropped his pick and!
staied with bulging eyes at the'
yellow mass which a stroke of j
the Implement had Just laid bate. For)
a minute lie was struck speechless i
Then, like one gon» mad, hu gave!
forth a mighty shout.
•His ma'.e came running from the!
*tiouth of the tunnel.
"What is It?1 h» cr ied breathlessly.:
"Gold! ' yelled tliu other. "Pure1
fold! Tons of it!"
"Is that all?" exclaimed his part-
"her, disgustedly. "From ali the hul-
'laballoo ye were makln,' one ud' think
ijre had dug into a flrkln o' butter!"
8®
, chumleigh KNEW,
, DumleUfh—"I Just saw Mrtl. Gush
down the street, talking to your
,Wlfe/*
i GJjttinleigb—"It wasn't my wife.
uumleifiv—-"How do you know?"
leigTv«"pl4|>'t tou say
Oufhlelfh m* dolpf the
rjc-x
A QUANDARY.
"Doggone girl twins, anyway! It always takes me
about a half hour to pick out my fla|i;y«. y._"
WHAT SHE GAINED.
Hubby—Well, do you think you've
gained anything from your two weeks
in the country?
Wifey—Indeed, yea. I've learned
more about the different brands of
canned goods than I could pick up
in a year at home.
AN INDICATION.
Qui*—Do you think there is any
truth In thv saying that one who U
lucky in love Is unlucky at cardsT
Whle—Well, I have observed that
some of the ladles who are most suc-
cessful at bridge have husbands who
are ^ouf a fSOfl deft! at.nirbt. ., __
9
MODERN CONVENIENCES.
Mr*. 'Poaiuni-—"Willie, run up to the gymnasium and take your mofffci
ing exerolses with little Ethel." 1' ^
• .y
i
1,11
A SAD KEMINDBR,
Hera are some vary nice orusti, I trimmed off whan I was makiaf!
sandwiches,
No, thank ye, mum; day remind ma too much of da causa of me dofflb'
fall—margins. i
•i. - . ' * ••i I
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Williams, E. K. The Temple Daily Telegram (Temple, Tex.), Vol. 7, No. 124, Ed. 1 Tuesday, March 24, 1914, newspaper, March 24, 1914; Temple, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth474545/m1/10/: accessed July 18, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Abilene Library Consortium.