University Press (Beaumont, Tex.), Vol. 61, No. 45, Ed. 1 Friday, March 29, 1985 Page: 3 of 6
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UNIVERSITY PRESS March 29,1985*3
-fair-
Comment
Sea tbelts/Fools/Letters
Viewpoint
McGrath keeps
area politicians
on their tiptoes
District Attorney Jim McGrath is really keeping
the politicians on their toes around here in Jeffer-
son County.
In less than a year, two Jefferson County
legislators have been indicted by a grand jury.
Sen. Carl Parker, D-Port Arthur, was indicted in
September on charges of promotion of pro-
stitutuion, perjury and obscenity. A judge
dismissed Parker’s indictments in November, but
another grand jury is investigating the case.
Parker was reindicted March 22 on charges of
engaging in organized criminal activity and
wholesale promotion of obscene material.
Rep. Frank Collazo Jr., D-Port Arthur, was in-
dicted by the Jefferson County grand jury March
21. The indictment accuses Collazo of offering to
use his influence with the Texas Department of
Water Resources to help with a pollution citation
against shipyard owner Chester Slay Jr., a former
House member.
That is just what politicians need—someone to
watch them as closely as they watch votes.
These legislators have made great progress in
the House and Senate for Lamar and Jefferson
County, but that should not exempt them from be-
ing punished if they are guilty of illegal activities.
Their innocence alone should free them from
the indictments and they do deserve the benefit of
the doubt until the trials prove the guilt or in-
nocence of each.
If the two Congressmen are guilty, I celebrate
their indictment.
However, guilty or not, their indictments will
make crooked politicians think twice before runn-
ing for office in our county.
You AcruAus Asked
\nhat week it is! 7
Safety belts
aid survival
if fastened
The Texas Medical Association recently
released statistics concerning the use of
safety belts that should make us all stand
up and take notice.
According to the TMA, between 12 and
15 thousand lives could be saved each
year if all passenger car occupants used
safety belts at all times. When seat belts
are used, the chances of surviving a crash
increase by more than 50 percent.
What could be easier than “buckling
up” every time we climb into the driver’s
seat or passenger side of a car? And why
don’t most of us do just that?
Some of the more common answers in-
clude feeling restricted by safety belts, the
darn things are uncomfortable, it’s a
nuisance to buckle up, and of course the
ever popular reply of “I just plain forget.”
Proposed state legislation to require the
use of safety belts has not been passed.
Sen. Roy Blake, D-Nacogdoches, is predic-
ting that if the legislature passes a law re-
quiring mandatory safety belt use, it will
be repealed in the next session.
So for the time being, it’s your choice.
To buckle or not to buckle. Chances are,
most of us won’t.
And if you or a loved one becomes a
statistic because the safety belt was lying
on the side of the seat rather than secured
around your waist, it will be too late to
have wished you had buckled up. The
30-second task of clicking on that seat
belt could possibly save your life.
‘Robotic noses’ pick up 1,000 scents
A-musing class notes—
Get creative with jokes
for April Fool’s Day
By DICK WEST
WASHINGTON (UPI) - There’s a
lot of sadness in the world. From my
friend Terry McHale of Flint, Mich.,
comes the distressing news that his
friend Clarence had a sinus opera-
tion that spoiled the taste of dry
martinis.
The surgery presumably ruined
the patient’s sense of smell, a com-
mon occurrence. But there is no
need to sue the surgeon of malprac-
tice, another common occurrence.
Help is on the way.
According to Omni magazine,
researchers in Pittsburgh are
developing a “robotic nose” that
eventually may surpass even the
human nose’s ability to recognize up
to 1,000 different odors, including, I
suppose, several hundred cocktails.
“Our ultimate goal is low-cost,
mass-produced, all-purpose noses
Letter says thanks
to telethon donors
Editor:
On behalf of the Board of Direc-
tors of the Southwestern Sickle Cell
Anemia Foundation Inc., we wish to
thank all the wonderful people who
made our Fourth Annual Telethon
sponsored by KPLC-TV on Sunday,
March 10, such an overwhelming
success.
The Foundation received $19,102 in
cash and pledges, but we believe
that we will go over $20,000 because
people who did not get a chance to
''all during the Telethon have called
in pledges at the office as well as just
sending in their checks.
Although our economy is in a
disasterous state with so many
unemployed, you lovely people
made pledges anyway. Even
children understood the great need
and brought in money. One
that can be used anywhere and that
are trainable,” said one of the
quoted scientists.
If human nostrils can recognize
the smell of Chinese cooking, then a
robotic nose surely can be trained to
identify a well-mixed martini.
That part about “can be used
anywhere” should be particularly
encouraging to Clarence. For
“anywhere” would include Pitt-
sburgh bars, or wherever he might
go in quest of the proper blend of gin
and vermouth.
Nor would there be any reason for
Clarence to feel self-conscious about
cybernetic sniffing. If science can
create mechanical hearts to function
in place of the real thing,
mechanical noses should become
almost as commonplace as medical
malpractice suits.
What I fear is that Hollywood will
get there first.
youngster brought in a bag of pen-
nies that he had been saving.
Another rare and unique thing oc-
curred. For over an hour there were
more people calling in long distance
than locally. People in Lafayette,
Crowley, Eunice, Beaumont,
Orange, Port Arthur, Glenmora,
Grand Chenier, St. Martinville,
Opelousas, Fort Polk, DeRidder,
Jennings, Cameron, DeQuincy,
Welsh, as well as other magnificant
people responded throughout the
viewing area.
Our foundation is extremely
grateful to Mr. and Mrs. Russell
Chambers, Cynthia Arceneaux and
Charles Warsham for their fantastic
hosting, and to the rest of the splen-
did crew of KPLC-TV who
cooperated so beautifully.
The success of our Telethon was
due in great part to the fantastic
entertainment featuring some
Grammy .Awards Winners
videotapes sent by Motown Record
Corp. (C. Donohue & P. Napoliello),
Columbia Records (D. Samuelson),
CBS Records (£jprunman), Atlan-
Any scientific achievement with
the potential of enabling “robot ser-
vants to cook without burning
meals” also has the potential of
becoming a first-rate motion pic-
ture.
I can see it all now—major studios
bidding for the right to produce
“Close Encounters of the Olfactory
Kind.”
Such a film could be more
sophisticated than the garden varie-
ty of sci-fi movie. I envision a robot
nose named “Hal” becoing a sort of
rogue inhaler in a Pittsburgh tavern.
‘Hal” has been programmed to
blink red lights whenever it catches
a whiff of the quintessential mar-
riage of juniper juice and white
whine steeped in aromatic herbs.
But the poor thing’s electronic nasal
sensors have been distracted by the
essence of beer.
tic Records (H. Jefferson & P.
Jones) and Gilberto Bultron of Gil’s
Records and Tapes.
Southwestern Sickle Cell Anemia
Foundation, Inc.
Lake Charles, La.
Reader praises
KVLU art review
Editor:
I don’t listen to KVLU much. The
only time I have to listen to radio is
in the morning, and the folks on
public radio are just too laid back.
What I need in the morning is
amplification. A1 Caldwell, Gordon
Baxter, even. Actually, I wake up to
the CBS Morning News. That way I
get that combination of urgency and
amusement that only network news
seems able to provide. So, I have
never paid much attention to KVLU.
, Then, last week, three people call-
This situation gives a screenwriter
all sorts of latitutde in creating
dramatic scenes in which barroom
patrons attempt to repair the robot’s
semiconductors.
There also could be all sorts of
jokes of the “How many drunks does
it take to change a robot’s microcir-
cuitry?” variety.
One obligatory scene would have
the robot nose luring a customer into
an alley outside the tavern, and then
blinking its red lights over the subtle
fragrance of rotting garbage.
Once “Close Encounters of the
Olfactory Kind” has been through
the late night television reruns,
maybe robot nose researchers can
get on with the lab work necessary to
make the receptors truly all-
purpose.
Otherwise, Clarence may have to
call his lawyer and go on the wagon.
ed to tell me about an art review
they had heard. Another thing I
don’t do is pay much attention to
local reviewers of art, since most of
them tend to exclude from that
category anything that hasn’t ac-
tually appeared on a Hallmark card.
Anyway, no one could remember ex-
actly what had been said, but they
were all excited about it, so I called
the station for a copy of the broad-
cast. They were very nice.
The piece was by Steve Hodges,
whose feature, “Picture This,” is
broadcast regularly. His review of a
two-man exhibition by Danny
Dubuisson and Steve Crain, current-
ly running at the Art Studio, was in-
sightful and very much to the point. I
found it knowledgable and well
thought out, outstanding in a field
not noted locally for these qualities.
Compliments to Mr. Hodges and to
KVLU. I only wish that they would
run his pieces at a time more in tune
with my metabolism like, say, the
cocktail hour.
Gary Laird
Special Services
By LINDA ECKOLS
UP managing editor
“There’s a big green bug with pink
polka dots and nine legs crawling up
your leg—April fool’s!”
We have all heard an April Fool’s
Day joke similar to that one. This
year’s prank day is drawing near, so
let’s arm ourselves with something a
bit more creative for a change.
Catch that classmate that skips
most of the economicsiectures and
just keeps up with the tests. Tell her
that the professor was called out of
town on the scheduled day of the test
so it has been scheduled a week ear-
ly-
Let her study and show up for the
test on Monday, then break the
“April fool’s” to her.
She will get over it—she might
even make a better grade on the test
than you.
Maybe you could call your best
buddy from work at 2 a.m. Monday
morning. Tell him someone has
broken into the office and the boss
called and asked you to round up the
employees. He wants everyone at
work immediately to determine
what has been stolen for the police
report.
Give that buddy a few minutes to
wake up and get dressed, then give
them the “April fool’s” phone call.
Or maybe you would prefer to greet
them at the office with a banner on
the entry doors that reads with the
infamous line.
One idea requires the special loca-
tion of a bar or lowly lit room. Sneak
the cigarettes from a pal that
smokes when she is not looking. Non-
chalantly return the pack with all
the cigs turned upside down.
If your pal is at all tipsy, she may
light two or three filters before she
realizes it is not her fault.
“April fool’s.”
If someone you know lives in an
apartment complex with a pool, you
can try the floating-body-in-the-pool
trick. Use jeans and a shirt stuffed
with newspaper—not the University
Press.
As soon as you get the “body”
situated in the pool, run to your
friend’s apartment (before someone
else fishes it out). Have them come
down to help you save “a drowning
man”.
After your friend dives in, fully
clothed, and surfaces for a breath,
you can smile and say from the
bank, “April fool’s.”
Then run.
UNIVERSITY PRESS
Production Manager
Gloria Post
Assistant Director of Student Publications
John Tisdale
Director of Student Publications
Editor ...................
.....Donna Foster
Howard Perkins
Managing Editor ........
.....Linda Eckols
Publisher
Sports Editor.............
.. Richard Yancey
Student Publications Board
Photo Editor ............
.......David Cruz
Andrew J. Johnson, Chairman
Entertainment Editor —
.......Lisa Viator
Wire Editor .............
____Lisa Hoffpauir
Advertising Manager —
____Cynthia Brown
Marketing Representative
.....Elaine BuUer
Cartoonist ...............
... Mike Kennaugh
Staff Writers......Mamie Bogue, Paul Davis,
The University Press is the official student
Georganne Faulkner, Alan Pace
newspaper of Lamar University, and is
published every Wednesday and Friday dur-
Sports Assistants .......
. . .Gail Anderson,
ing long semesters, excluding holidays and
Charles Dawson, Lyra Katena
Wednesdays immediately following holidays.
Graphics Editor .........
Margene Lenamon
Offices are located at P.O. Box 10055, 200
Graphics Assistants —
.......Gina Gomez
Setzer Student Center, University Station,
Patrick Hardin
Beaumont, Texas 77710.
Opinions expressed in editorials and col-
umns are those of the student management of
Typesetters ......Karen Dwyer, Ingrid Faulk
the newspaper. These opinions are not
Circulation...............
......Becky Faulk
necessarily those of the.university administra-
Office Assistant .........
.......Sonja BuUer
tion.
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Foster, Donna. University Press (Beaumont, Tex.), Vol. 61, No. 45, Ed. 1 Friday, March 29, 1985, newspaper, March 29, 1985; Beaumont, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth499612/m1/3/: accessed July 18, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Lamar University.