El Paso International Daily Times (El Paso, Tex.), Vol. 15, No. 48, Ed. 1 Tuesday, February 26, 1895 Page: 3 of 8
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TIE FIGURE BUREAU
WHERE CONGRESSMEN GET TADLE3
TO ADORN THEIR SPEECHES.
Danger of Building on Figure* Hastily
Complied — The Thesaurus of Senator
Jones—Prospect* For the Farmers—A
Bandy Chart For the Voter.
[Special Correspondence. 1
Washington, Fob. 21.—Away np in
tho fifth story of tho Adams building,
on F street, opposite tho Ebbitt House,
Mr. Worthington Chauncey Ford and
his 34 clerks and assistants burrow in
tho deep mines of figured facts and turn
out those wonderful compilations which
are the delight of men with wheels in
thoir heads and are painfully apt to de-
velop wheels where there wero no wheels
before. This is the United States bureau
of statistics, a branch of the treasury
department. Hero are piles on piles of
pamphlets containing tho latest conclu-
sions of every statistician in the world;
hore are stacks on stacks of bluo books
and red books showing tho relative num-
bers of men, women and children, of
buildings and live stock, of gold, silver,
paper and everything of a monetary na-
ture in tho civilized world, with all
kinds of guesses at the corresponding
facts among the uncivilized. Hither
come the congressmen for those wonder-
ful tables which are supposed to adorn
The Congressional Record. Here 0113
can post himself on almost any subject,
nan stuff himself with statistics and just
wallow in figures.
Figure* Will tie.
Most important of all perhaps, this is
tho place to get conclusive proof that
figures will lie. Out of the same reports
obtained here' the Prohibitionists proved
several years ago that the per capita
consumption of liquors was rapidly in-
creasing, and Hon. David A. Wells
proved that it only seemed so because
the revenuo was more closely collected.
Henry George proved that tho land was
being owned in larger bodies, and dozens
of others fellows proved just the oppo-
site. O110 party proved that tho currency
had been contracted, another that it had
been expanded, and as to what has been
proved pro and con on tariff, gold and
silver I might go on for columns, but
for the elect’s sake tho details are short-
ened. Tho moral of it all is—don’t
monkey with figures unless you know
how, for if even 0110 important fact be
left out they may prove tho exact op-
posite of tho truth. Tho mental condi-
SKNATOK JOHN P. JONES,
tion of somo congressmen who have
rashly builded cn an array of figures
hastily made up reminds me of tho ex-
perience of a miner friend in Utah who
had never had time to read and was
ashamed of his ignorance of current
literature. One happy day be “struck
chloride” in Ophir canyon.
And l reckon five naughts
Was the worth of that strike.
Having sold, he hastened down to
Salt Lake City, bought a complete set of
Dickens, Thackeray, Buhver, George
Eliot and the rest and resolutely read
straight through the lot for six months.
When I met him the next summer, he
had a vague idea that Hetty Sorel was
seduoed by Wilkins Mioawber and got
even with tho noble Lothario by shoot-
ing Clive Newcomb, the ward of that
Kenelm Chillingly who was disinherit-
ed by his father for voting for Catholic
emancipation, went to South Africa,
discovered Monte Cristo, returned in the
triumph of a multimillionaire and mar-
ried Sarah Gamp.
Students of Statistics.
Of all the representatives who use sta-
tistics freoly, Mr. Dingley of Maine
probably does it most cautiously and
successfully. From onr gallery one
may seo him almost any hour bowed
over his desk, Ms dark and sallow face
almost touching tho paper on which he
is figuring liko the model boy in a gram-
mar school. One day Tom Reed called
his near neighbor’s attention to Mr.
Dingloy in those words: “Look at that
calculating machine. Ho just naturally
enjoys that sort of thing which would
kill me in six weeks”—all this with
that Yankee drawl which makes his
lightest utterances humorous. Mr. Reed
rarely troubles himself with statistics.
He has one of those happily constituted
intellects which are not obliged to toil
slowly up to a ornoiusion over rising
steps of tabulated facts. WTien many
opinions have been expressed and confu-
sion reigns, he seems able to steer
straight across an ocean of sophistry and
Btrike tho right point on the other
shorn His system is much liko that of
Chief Justice Marshall, who used to
say, “I could not answer the reasoning
El Paso Daily Times, Tuesday, February 26,1895.
oi suen a ono, dug i Know mat ms con-
clusions would not do. ” Mr. Holman
is, ot course, compelled to study the
statistics mid do very close figuring on
his specialties, but- he rarely ventures
outside of them, and tho same is truo
of tho members of tho two loading com-
mittees, appropriations and ways and
means.
All the Populists, however, aro great
on figures, and tho silverites aro oven
moro so. Whatever may bo tho merits
or defects of thoir various schemes, they
have done a wonderful work in collect-
ing and tabulating the facts throwing
light thereon. Auy one of them can give
you at auy minute a table showing the
riso and fall of prices sincq 1850, tho
relative production of silver and gold,
thq increase or doorcase of wealth and
poverty, of debts, taxes and mortgages.
Senator Jones’ long speech is tho theo-
saurns from which many thousand sil-
verite orators and writers havo taken
their materials. Into it as the great re-
servoir flowed all pre-existing streams
of monetary fact, and out of it his suc-
cessors havo drawn their main supply,
each merely bringing tho figures down
to his.ov/u date.
Senator Quay’s long and I must say
very tedious speech consisted largely of
statistical tables, but be proparod none
of them himself, and most of them wero
read for him by other senators while ho
rested his throat. It is generally be-
lieved that Senator Sherman has the
best arranged collection of statistics in
his lino and a correspondence of im-
mense value, and that ho will edit and
publish them when ho retires at the end
of his present term, after 34 j’ears in the
senate. As members and senators quote
largely from those who preceded them,
The Record is greatly cumbered, and
many elaborate tables have within a few
years beon published therein as often as
twenty times.
A Bark Outlook.
Mr. Ford, chief of the bnrean of sta-
tistics, is a neat and very clerical look-
ing gentleman, a little below the medi-
um size, and the top of his head is
“away above the timber line, ” as wo
used to say in Colorado. Ho was born
in New York city in 1858 and was long
a journalist there when appointed to
this place in 1893. “We got,” said he,
“somo 20 reports per month from each
of the 125 ports of tho United States,
and these are tabluated in three month-
ly roports as to the principal articles,
such as cotton, breadstuffs, oils and pro-
visions, and the whole in a monthly bul-
letin. All these are summarized in tho
annual report on commerce and naviga-
tion. It is not possible, however, to give
tho percentage of increased bulk of ex-
port necessary to maintain tho value,
though many congressmen want it. Take
cotton, for instance. The exports for tho
calendar year 1894 were much larger in
bulk, but much smaller in value than
several years ago. Somo things main-
tain a wonderful evenness, especially
barley. ”
“Well, I will ask the great question
of the day, What hope is there that our
farmers will soon get better prices?”
“Nono whatever that lean seo. On
tho contrary, it seems certain that Rus-
sia and Argentina will greatly increase
thoir exports, though they are making
the same complaints about producing at
a loss. Wheat and meat should bo steady
in price, as they constitute the strongest
foods and are in general demand. Nor
is thero auy overproduction of either.
In fact, tho world is right now greatly
in need of wheat and meat, and tho con-
sumption is cut down only because peo-
plo cannot buy. Tho world is going
through a prolonged liquidation, nnd
farmers and debtors suffer. ”
Hoarded Gold.
“And what is the cause of it?”
“Nobody knows. There is such a com-
bination of causes that no one can mas-
ter them. We have had a convulsion
about onoe in ten years, and this one
would have come on in 1891 had it not
been postponed in this country by the
failuro of crops in Russia, but prices
have gone so low as to nullify all cal-
culations. It is promised that thero will
soon bo an inflation of gold, but I do
not believe it. All the European nations
are bidding for gold and filling their
war chests. Hero are our very latest fig-
ures. Tho Bank of England had three
years ago $109,342,800 in gold. It now
has $161,037,730. And in liko manner
tho Bank of France has increased its
store of gold from $260,888,299 to
$402,795,839, tho Austro-Hungarian
bank from $26,634,400 to $74,228,725
and tho Imperial German bank from
$222,511,000 to $249,369,193. Russia
is going much further, taking all bor
customs dues in gold and storing it away
and paying ont nothing but silver.
Thero is a great story about an im-
mense hoard of gold in China, and Eng-
lish writers relate that whon thoir army
lootod tho palace at Peking they found
scores of statues of solid gold and only
took away one! If British soldiers ever
did leave solid gold that they could get
away with, tho rest of the story may be
true, but my guess is that tho Chinese
indemnity will havo to bo paid in silver,
because thero is nothing elso. It is not
recorded that Clive, Hastings & Co.
loft most of the gold they captured in
India. ”
An Interesting Chart.
Much more of interest in this connec-
tion did Mr. Ford give, but congress
has recently mado this subject a trifle
stale. This bnreau was instituted in
1866, with Mr. Alox Dolmar as commis-
sioner. Ho is now somewhat noted as a
writer on bimetallism. The organiza-
tion, nowever, was by General Francis
A. Walker, and his forms and tables re-
mained unchanged till two years ago.
His successors have been Messrs. Ed-
ward Young, now United States consul
at Windsor, N. S.; Joseph Nirnmo,
now a farmer in New York; William
F. Switzlor, at present an editor at
Booneton, Mo.; S. G. Brock of the same
state, and after him tho present incum-
bent. In addition to its regular bulle-
tins and animal roports, the bureau now
issues a chart which is ono of tho most
complete, convenient and interesting
things of the kind 1 ever saw. On a
slip of paper 30 inches long and ono foot
wide is printed, “Condensed summary
of tho financial and commercial statis-
tics of the United States, 1867 to 1893. ”
It is tho very essence of all tho censuses
mid statistical reports, and every dis-
putatious voter ought to have a copy
tacked up in his house.
J. H. Beadle.
At the Children’* Party.
Aunt—What! Not have one of these
nice cakes? How’s that?
Promising Child ( feebly)—F’lnp.
No Need of Telling.
Bnjriir (who has hastily snapped up a
bargain)—By the way, you advertised
that you bad good reasons for selling. I
forgot to ask what they were.
Seller (grimly)—You’ll find ’em out
fast enough. Ta, ta!—New York Week-
ly- _____
- A Subterfuge.
Old Lady—Why aro you two men
using such frightful language?
Ragson Tatters—Well, lady, me and
me pard has to exchange heated words
for ter keep warm, not bavin no over-
coats.—Philadelphia Record.
True to Life.
“Do you think the pictures will be
lifelike?”
“Yes, indeed. SUe was iu a perfect
rage with the artist.’’—Chicago Inter
Ocean.
J>anger.
“No,” exclaimed the Fox loftily, “I
don’t care for the grapes at all. Ap-
pendicitis? Not on your lifel”—De-
troit Tribune.
Accurate.
Dentist—What are tho last teeth that
come?
Brilliant Student—False teeth, I
guess.—Life.
• Class In Definition.
Teacher—What is a heroino?
Scholar—I guess it must be a mar-
ried woman.—Dotroit Free Press.
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result from, un-
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youth, through
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morbid fears haunt him and may result
in confirmed hypochondria, or melan-
cholia and, finally, in sotting of the brain,
epilepsy, (“fits”), paralysis, locomotor
ataxia and even in dread insanity.
To reach, re-claim and restore such
unfortunates to health and happiness, is
the aim of the publishers of a book of
136 pages, written in plain but chaste
language, on the nature, symptoms and
curability, by home-treatment, of such
diseases. This book will be sent sealed,
in plain envelope, on receipt of this no-
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For more than a quarter of a century
physicians connected with this widely
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and medicines which have resulted in
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Sufferers from premature old age, or
loss of power, will find much of interest
iu the book above mentioned.
We Have tt|e Earth.
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Ask agents named below for descriptive matter.
W. B. TRULL, Agent Depot.
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El Paso International Daily Times (El Paso, Tex.), Vol. 15, No. 48, Ed. 1 Tuesday, February 26, 1895, newspaper, February 26, 1895; El Paso, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth540846/m1/3/: accessed July 18, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Abilene Library Consortium.