The Colorado Citizen. (Columbus, Tex.), Vol. 4, No. 24, Ed. 1 Saturday, March 23, 1861 Page: 1 of 4
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THE COLORADO
$ h
II ZEN
LOYAL, YET ?FREE; -OBEDIENT, YET INDEPENDENT
VOLUME IV
COLUMBUS, TEXAS, SATURDAY, MARCH 1861. NUMBER
“kalasttlS we K.b»w Facia
There ? ”
Other
4k
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When we hear the music ringing
Through the bright celestial doine,
When sweet angel voices singing
Gladly bid us welcome home
To the land of ancient story,
W here the spirit knows no care :
Ir. that land of light and glofy
“ Shall ke know each other there ?,
When the holy angels meet us
As we go to join their band.
Shall we know the friends that greet us
In that glorious spirit land ?
Shall we see their dark feyes shining
On us as in days of yore ?
Shall we feel thdir dear arms twining
Fondly round us as before"?
Yes, my earth worn soul rejoices
And my weary heart groWS light,
>For the thrilling angel voices
And the angel faces bright
That shall welcome us in Heaven
Are the loved of -long-ago;
And to them ’tis kindly given
Thus their mortal friends toknow,
Oh ! ye weary ones and lost oneU
Droop not,* faint not by the w;.y:
Ye shall join the loved and lost ones
In the land ol perfect day.
Harp strings, toucbud-b;»SngeI’ fingers,
Murmur in my raptflted car;
Evermore theii sweet tone’ lingers—
We shall know eacli other there i
JLeUer Fr«JM Aiastiaa.
fFpecial Correspondence of the- Citizen1.]
Austin, March 14,1861.
Gents: Find enclosed a■copy of the
Frontier Bill—not yet passed/but, I think,
will pass without materia! alterations.
Some eight or ten com panics of volunteers
have already been accepted -and sent out
tor the immediate protection of the frontier.
They will be embraced in the regiments
•contemplated by the Ordinance. And all
■ the force will he adopted by the Proris-
i.iuna! Government of the Confederated
'States; and all the property takufffoy-. the
authority of the people of the people of
Texas from the late Government of the
yfted States, will bo turned over. ";pF
espoMf.rDt!nres incident thereto, to the
Provisional* Government of the Confod-
■ eracy — leaving all the questions growing
• out. of-it-to-be settled by the two Govern
Tueiits.
The Convenion is woiklng hard, and
: progressing slow!v, and does not intend
to be guilty of any hasty or inconsiderate
action, which would be so gratifying to
■the opponents of this movement. They
consider that they were sent here to effect
a consummation of the act of secession,
•and to do such other acts and things as
'■may be incident thereto.--find as may be
essential -to the-defone.u of the country and
the protection of the'people, their property
and rheir honor; and when that is clone,
to adjourn and oomehome, without further
interference with the existing Constitution,
jaws and government than is -necessary to
secure these objects,-wbibh "we regard as
tiie expressed-vYliof the people twice made
at the ballot-box. And I desire you to
'say tmali my constituents in general, and
»ne; Pr.'Banks in particular,l:(forU am-just
in receipt of an epistle from him, assuming
to represent tiie sentiments of my county,
denying the powers 6f this ' Convention,
and requiring me to leave at once arid
come home,) that I mean to do my* duly
to the full extent of my ability:; that I
understand my dtrlyHo"be to carry out the
■ will of the people"; that their will Iras been
•expressed in unmistakable terms, and*I
have above set forth' my understanding of
their will. Abu can further say to’Doctor
Banks that I shall stay here until my
mission is filled ; and although tliis^Goi)-
veulion may be a Rump Parliament, T
'have yet to learn or believe that he is the
•Cromwell that can'kick it oat of the Capi-
tol, particularly when it is _ sustained by
thirty or forty thousand majority of the
: people of the State,
We mean to do'what is right, and-will
"not be intimidated from a full and faithful
discharge of that duty'by the threats, or
even bayonets, of one thousand Dr. Banks’ !
When that is done, the Convention will
adjourn, arid, to please'Dr. Banks, T will
will adjourn with it, or resign, if he pre-
• era, but not* before !
The Ordinance-known as the Test Oath
ihas just passed, and will not, T think, tie
•found objectionable to any man who means
}-a faithful discharge of duty to his State.
• It differs only from the old oath to the
‘extent necessary to adopt it into the new
‘order of things. I will send you a copy
'■as soon as I can procure it.
A union with the Provisional Govern-
ment of the Confederate States has been
effected. This, under the strong proba-
bility of war, was deemed indispensible to
the safety of our State; for however chiv-
alrous our people are, there are none of
them so silly, I presume, to assert or be-
lieve us, single banded, aide tosustain our-
selves against the Northern States. An
allegiance offensive ami defensive was in-
dispensible, and the adoption of a Union
with the Provisional Government effects
that ol ject. It is true that it contemplates
a further and permanent. Union, and there
is constructing, at this time, a Constitution
•-for such a government ; but, of course,
such permanent Constitution could only
be ob'igatory after ratification by the peo-
ple of Texas, 'either by a direct vote or by
a new Convention elected by them to de-
termine that ‘ question. At least I speak
for myself when I say that Ido not believe
/ het'd any voider delegated to me to speak
for the people of Texas on that question,
and shall not exercise-it’until so authori-
zed by a new expression of their well on that
great question.
My kindest regards to all. Will write;
again soon. Please publish soon.
Yours, truly, A. H. Davidson.
Austin, March 15, 12 o’clofek, M.
Gents: Oath of officerjust administered
to ail Delegates holding office in the State,
in open Convention. All took it unhesi-
tatingly, and amongst the rest Mr.Throck-
morton,-who figured so largely in opposi
tion to secession. To-morrow, the Gov-
ernor, ’Lieutenant-Governor, and other
officers of the State Department will be
required to appear at the bar of the Con-
vention atT-2 o’clock and take the oath.
Houston’s course is uncertain, and oc-
casions much- speculation. ^S'amo think
he will refuse and resign ; others that be
will refuse and ‘attempt to hold on to the
office and its archives ; while a few be-
lieve he will take the oath as the best and
most effectual means of defeating the se-
cession movement, and union of the se-
ceding'States, by a total disregard of its
obligations in the administration of the
Executive office. *1 must confess that,
throughout this -whole movement, General
Houston's course has'been so ambiguous,
uncertain and cacilaling as to be, when
taken in connection with tire sentiment
and character of those who now • sustain
him, a riddle which it illbecomes any man
who respects himself, or loves his country,
to attempt the-solution of. If his views
look to the perpetuity of our institutions,
or our independence of Northern, Aboli-
tion dictation, it argues a degree of stu-
jjidhy-on the part of our people stranirelv , r A-
at wa, tL -cba ..qRUi puuu ;u^omh>J Aq ap
intelligence*; for it if
with singular unanimity, the people of
Texas believe that tire course he and his
followers have pursued, and- the sentiments
they have promulgated, are at war Wit'h
the dearest interests and honor of the
State.
Saturday 16th, 12 o'clock, M.
Houston has just repudiated^;theiCcn-
vention and refused the oath. By the
Ordinance, the office of Governor, es eo
instante vacant"; and the Lieutenant-Gov
will discharge its duties'until the regular
election. He will be sworn in/I presume,
on Monday. Davidson.
The §©M$Ia<eTti Farm ;
— O R '—
UNCLE SAM’S FARM SOUTHERIZED.
Of all the mightyrnktiOrte
In the East or n the West
' This glorious Southern nation
Is the greatest and the best.
We have room forYlhCreaticn,
And our banner is unfurled—
Here’s a general invitation
To tiie people of the world !
C II 0 ft u s-
Then oorae along, come along, make no delay;
Come from every nation ; corne from every way.
Our lands are broad enoilgh—
Have no alarm;
-'For the Southern States are large endugh
For all to have a farm.
Mason & Dixon’s marks our Northern line,
And the Ohio’s waters too ;
And the Rio Grande our Southern bounds
’Way down to Mexico—
’From I lie great Allantic Ocean
Where the sun begins to dawn,
Leap across tiie Rocky Mountains
Far away to Oregon.
CHORUS —
Then come along, come along, &.c.
While the South will raise the cotton,
And the wheat, the corn and pork,
New England manufactories
Shall no more do our woik ;
i'For the deep and flowing water-falls
That course along our lulls
Are just the thing for washing sheep,
And driving cotton mills!
CHORUS —
Then come along, coifie kidr.g, &c.
Our fathers gave us liberty,
But little did they dream
'file grand results that pour along
This mighty age of steam ;
For our mountains, lakes and rivers
Are al! a blaze of fire,
And we send our news by-lightning
On the telegraphic wire !
CHORUS —
Then come along. come alongy &c.
Yes ! we’re bound to beat the Yankees,
For our motto’s “ Go Ahead ! ”
-o’" .„n i}lf- 'Torthern paupr.rs
L‘ P ■-' cm a p c* *°<-.re«well fed,;
______s
o u u i /s TTdrrn^w -nrmrp « _
For the white folks dov'iie votii.^.l
And the niggers-dn tht work !
C H 0 1M:-S —
Then come along, come along, &c„ &cc.
Asa ©rdisiairace 4© pt’ovlde for Use
CoRaSmasatssee ©2 Use FxasUssg
Slmte Cloyea’aaBsaesal.
A sa iffii I sa a sior-s
TO AMEND THE FIRST SECTION OF THE SEV-
ENTH ARTICLE OY THE CONSTITUTION OF
■ TM's/sTATE OF TEXAS.
Be it Ordained "by the People of Texas
in Convention Assembled, That the 1st
Section of the 7th Article of the Consti-
tution of the State of Texas be-so amend-
ed as to read as follows, to-wit :
“ Members of I he ‘ Legislature, and al!
officers, before they enter upon the duties
of their offices, and all officers now in
office, shall take the following oath or
affirmation : ‘ i (A II.) do solemnly swear
(or affirm) that 1 will true allegiance bear
to the State of Texas, and faithfully dis-
charge the duties incumbent upon me as
—.....-—, according to the best of my skill
and ability, agreeable to the Constitution
and laws of this State,■ expressly abjuring
all ebed-ience to the Government, ' Consti-
tution and laws -Of the United States of
America; and I do fitrt-her solemnly swear
(or affirm) that, since the adoption of the
■Ordinance of Secession, on the 2nd day
March, A, D., 1861, I being a citizen of
the State, have not fought a duel with
deadly-weapons-witffin this State, nor out
ot it,1 nor have I sent a'challenge to fight
a duel with deadly weapons, nor have I
acted as second in carrying a challenge,
or aided, advised,-or-assisted any peison
thus offending, so! heIp m&£'God.’ ”
Done in Convention, at the city of
Austin, on the 14th day of March,
A, D., 1861.
Ifotker Goose, in one of her ancietR
poems, has said that little boys were
made of
‘MSnubs and snails
And.puppy dogs’ tails!”
She also says little girls are made of
“ Sugar and spice
And everything nice ! ’’
We think if the old lady could have
lived in this age to have seen her little boys
and girls, (who are now young ladies and
gentlemen) she would have said of the
ladies, they are made of
“ The bones of whales
‘And colton bales'.; ”
And of gentlemen
“ Gold chains and canes,
<But nairy brains ! ”
The defects of the mind, like those of
the face, grow worse -as -we grow old.
Sec.T. Be it Ordained by the People
of Texas in Convention Assembled, That
all the existing laws of the State not in-
consistent with the'Ordinance of Secession
and other Ordinances of this Convention,
shall be and remain in * full ’force until
repealed.
Sec. ‘2. Be it further Ordained, That
all officers of the existing State Govern-
ment, upon taking the oath or affirmation,
prescribed1 by-an Ordinance,“entitled “ An
Ordinance' to amraend the 1st Section of
the"7th Article of the Constitution of the
State of Texas,” shall continue in office
for and during their respective terms.
Should any officer of the said government
refuse to take said oath or affirmation in
the manner and within the- manner here-
inafter-prescribed, then and in that case
his office shall be deemed and held vacant,
and the same filled and the duties thereof
discharged as though ha were dead, or had
resigned.
"Sec. '3. Be it further Ordained, That
the Governor of this State, the Lieutenant
Governor, Secretary of State, Comptroller,
Treasurer, Attorney-General, and Com-
missioner of the' General Land Office, be
required, at such hour as shall be*desig-
nated to them by notice given them by
A iDiffienlt fi|aiesU©iaItAaBswei’e<a..
;*L
Can any reader of this paper, “ tell why,
when Eve was manufactured from one ot
Adam’s nils, a hired girl wasn’t made at
the same time to wait oa her? ”
We can easy ! Because Adam ' never
came winning to-Eve with'a'ragged stock-
ing to be darned,"a collar string to be sew-
e‘d on, or a glove to be’mended “ right
awayLsimck now ! ’’ Because be never
until 'the sun got be-i
hind iTfe palm trees, and then stretched
himself, yawning out “ ain’t'-supper most
ready, ray dear ? ” Not he. Ha made
the fire and hung over the tea kettle him-
self, we’ll venture, and pulled the radishes,
peeled the bananas, and did everything
else he ought to. He milked the cows,
and fed the chickens, and looked after the
pigs himself. He never brought home a
half a dozetfffrlends to;-dinner, when Eve
hadn’t any fresh 1 pomegranates and the
mango season was over. He never staid
out until eleven o’clock to a ward meeting
hurraying for the out and out candidate,
and then ^scolding because poor dear Eve
was sitting*and cryingUrtsIde Ure gata.
To be sure he acted rather cowardly about
the apple gathering, but then don’t depre-
ciate his gencal helpfulness about the
garden. He never played billiards, nor
drove fast horses, nor choked Eve with
cigar smoke. He never loafed around the
corner groceries while solitary Eve was
rocking little Cain’s cradle at home. In
short, he didn’t think she was especially
created for the purpose of waiting’on him,
and wasn’t under the impression that it
disgraced a man to lighten his wife’s cares
a little. ‘
That’s the reason that Eve did not need
a hired girl, and we wish it was the reason
that aome^of her lair descendants did.—
Exchange.
Munchausen Redivivus.—An Illinois
paper—the Lake county Democrat—has a
Fore’s I>ecity.
It faded from me ! like the wave
Receding from the shore ;
And like the wave ito:.wept away
All jov and hope that weary day,
rfraced on Life’s sa-uds before ;
New hopes may bloom on Time’s dull shore,
But these may bloom—ah, never more !
My life is like that sandy shore—■
Monotonous and gray—
And every mark of Hope’s fingeranakes
The wave doth was away ;
Still higher rolls Misfortune’s waves
In their relentless play —
Hope’s last and dearest mark is swept
By ocean tide away.
South (h/olina correspondent, who furnish-
es it, A^nig jot'her things, with the fio 11 o-vv-
: - Jr
They nave recently invented some refin
ed cruelties for testing how strongly sus-
• pected strangers may be tinctured with ab-
•olitrouism. It is true that they barrel up
men and throw them into the streams, bdt
this is only done after they are proved to
be abolitionists; prior to this they under-
go the following formula of tests, in which
I have been an eye witness : They take
the unfortunate and tie him hv the feet to
the tail of a cart, and then let the horse
run away ; they then fasten him down to
the sidewalk, pin back his eyelids, and
compel the passers by (men and women)
to spit tobacco juice in his ey«3 ; they then
stand him up. bore holes into him with
srnaii augurs, fill the holes with Chinese
crackers and touch them off. Finally, they
take offalie top of his head, scoop out his
brains, fnd fiSHhe cavity with Republican
ideas and principles. If he survives these
tests, they conclude he is “sound on the
SometlsiiBg s.l>©isaC Typos.
The following witty delineations of‘The
two most celebrated stages in the progress
of a professor of “ ye bl&eke arte,’’ was
written by Clifto-n M. Nichols, Esq., Editor
of theSprinfield (Ohio) Daily AW We
select them from the December number o‘f
the Printer:
the devil.
The “Devil” is an institution by and
of himself, lie inks the type or turns the
crank, or “ lays on the sheets.” (Other
people sometimes to the latter.) If it were
not for him the paper would not “ come
out,” Ho sweeps out the office. He
builds the fires—an appropriate work for
a fiend—and swears because some one has
“hooked the kindlings!” He does the
“ chores at the house.” He “quiets the
baby.” Yet his most important duty is to
be able to inform the editor when the
Sheriff is after him !
With all this, the ‘ Devil’ shoulders all
the bad and smutty jokes of the editor.
When the mighty man of the pen is
ashamed of an expression, and still desires
to utter it, lie says, 1 our Devil says thus
and so,’ and the. poor‘Devil has to stand
it I
Nevertheless, the ‘Devil’ is an impor-
tant personage in society. He attends lec-
tures. He frequents concerts, shows,-and
the opera; but—I s;av it more'in-sorrow
some cases, his idea of Paradise is, a huge
barrel of Old-Bourbon, pierced for a lage-
sized straw, with his mouth at the muzzle.
I repeat—he travels. At one point in
his peregrinations, he works at his ‘ pro-
fession ’—it would be sacrilige to call it
‘ trade ; ’ at another, he is a quack doctor,
with an adequate supply of bread pills and
molasses syrups; at another, he assumes
ministerial robes, occupies the sacred desk,
drawls out in lugubrious Hones the para-
graphs of a purloined sermon, and addres-
ses the ‘ throne -ot grace ’ in a style pecu-
liarly his own.
At another point finding 'game to be
plucked, he plays euchre—-whatever that
is—for a ‘ little loose change.’
The world is his country—-he basks in
the sunshine of every clime. The bones
of his coinra'des whiten alike the plains of
Mexico, the hillsides of the Ciimea. and
the barren wastes of the Arabian deserts.
This is hardly a fancy sketch.
------—
A young lass who went to a earnp tnefeU
ing and came back full of the revival which
lhey; had, and who did nothing the follow-
ing week but sing :
“Shout! ehout, we’re gaining ground!”
She had the tune so pat, that all she
said was but a continuation of that song,
and not unfrequentlv the rhyme was too
long for the tune—old Jowler slipped in
and took a bone off the table, and just aa
he was making for the door, she sung out,
If you don’t go out I’ll knock you down,
Halle, Hallelujar,
You •■nasty stinkm’ flop ear'd hound,
O, Glory Hallelujah ! ”
Resources of Texas.—-The products -6f
this State for the year ending on the 1st of
September last, amount to $30,000,000, of
which $20,000,000 were exported. The
State of Texas has -about one third of the
population of-Illinois, whose greatest wheat
crop amounts to 25,000,000 this year.;
ten million bushels of which will probably
be exported from that State, and bring $7,-
500,000. From this may be seen what
kind of a basis the-abolilion party have for
v/t/vio*} UU U—— i C.W* V 11/ 1U W1 13 I LA * OVA I I U »r * «'
; than ipTaDger-b-he siMonuatfenffs church ! kbeir -bhistemur, and braggery, and bully-
tie presents bimseltjTat the ticket office of aumslatidpis oi die Sout^L
goose,” and, after unjointing his legs, al-
low him .to travel.
Gov. Johnson’s Plantation in Ge&e-
aiA.—The plantation of Governor John-
-son, the recent Douglas candidate for Vice-
President, lies in Jefferson county, Georgia,
and consists of 3,952 acres of land. It is
said to be peculiarly adapted to the growth,
of the products of that latitude, particu-
larly cotton. In the aggregate the land is
valued at $25,000. There are upon the
plantation 117 slaves, as likely a set of
boys and girls as you will see South of
Mason and Dixon’s line, and valued at
lOS.flOff. The increase ot -slaves in twen-
„ ty-five years has been ‘ 200 per cent. The
the President of the Convention, (said ■ niHifnSrof tr|u!es and horses is thirty-eight,
hour to be‘within three days from and
after the adoption of this Ordinance;)' to
appear in open‘ Convention and take'the
oath aforesaid, which skaT!"Re administered
by any Justice of the Supreme Court, or
Judge of the District Court of this State :
Provide*', however, the Comptroller being
absent on official busmess, shall have three
’days from the date of his return to tiro
city of Austin, to comply with this 'Or-
dinance.
Sec. 4. Be-it 'further Ordained, That
al! the Officers of this State not named in
the next preceding section of this Ordi-
nance, are required to take the oath afore
said, before such officers as are authorized
to administer official oaths, and in the
manner prescribed by existing ’laws, the
members of the Legislature upon their,
assembling, and all others within forty
days from the date of the adoption of this
Ordinance.
Done in Convention, at the city of
Austin, on the 14th day of March,
A/D., 1861.
Temperance regulates all the passions.
A very fat man, for the purpose of quiz-
zing a doctor, asked him to prescribe for
his disease, which he described was sleep-
ing with his mouth open. “ Sir,” said the
doctor, “ your disease i3 incurable’; your
skin is too short, so that, when you shut
eyes you mouth must open.”
■worlli $3;800; value of cattle and imple-
metits about $1,00'0. This will make the
aggregate'value of the farm stock at $123,-
■500. From this investment there will be
raised this veai 250 bales of cotton, val-
ued $12,500 ; --7500 bushels of corn, val-
ued $6,500, giving a clear income of $19,
000, besides supporting in sumptuous style
-about; KO persons, and raising any amount
of sweet potatoes and garden truck gen-
erally. It is cheifly managed by his sons,
two very promising young men.
Study of the Face.—A story is Ho Id
of the great French satirist, which finely
illustrates li is -knowledge of human nature.
He was traveling in Germany, in entire
ignorance of its language and currency.
Having obtained some small change for
some of his-French coins, he used to pay
coachmen and others in the following man
ner : Taking -a handful of his numismat
ical specimens from his pocket, he counted
them, one by one, into the creditors hands
keeping his eye fixed all the time on the re-
ceiver’s face. As soon as he perceived the
least twinkle of a smile, he took back the
last coin deposited in the hand, and re-
turned it, with the remainder to his pock
et. Tie afterward found that, in pursuing
this method, he had not overpaid tor
anything.
Prosperity is a stronger trial of virtue
than adversity.
the‘show,’ with his/ 4 linen ’ reversed by
way of change (for he seldom possesses
more than a single shirt) as a * member of
the Press,’ and so pressess his claims that
he is admitted without the accustomed
quarter. Indeed he gives the ticket agent
no quarter until he is admitted withoTd
the quarter. But our young friend is not
alone. He is too much of a gallant for
that. His ‘ woman ’ is with him, and he
and his ‘ woman ’ pass in and enjoy the
entertainment, which, whatever it may be,
is taken down in doses kite mated with
peanuts and tobacco. For the Devil chews
as well as smokes, and spits protusely upon
carpets when he gets within reach of
them.
I never heard of a Printer’s Devil who
had ‘ risen in life,’ but 1 do the class the
justice to say that, to my knowledge, none
of them have fallen very low. Some of
these ‘ Devils ’ have -descended to be may-
ors of cities. Some of them have let them-
selves down into Congressmen. But I
never knew one to degrade himself so low
as to become a President of the United
States.
So much for the 1 Devil.’ I know the
‘ animal.’ I’ve been there myself.
THE “JOUR. PRINTER.’’
Allow me to introduce the ‘ Jour, Print-
er.’ Of Jack at all-trades he is the-chief.
He never finds an emergency to which he
’is not equal. He is in every desirable
•place at all times. He is always ‘at the
fire’—sometimes bootless, and batless, and
sbirtlc-ss—still he is there. He is in Cali
fornia, Pike’s Peak, or in Utah, and has a
practical belief in a plurality of wives !
He rejects the current proverb that there
can be too much of a good thing—in 'this
respect. lie is engaged alike in John
BrOYf’n insurrections and Southern seces-
sion movements.
Of course he has joined the Sons of Mal-
ta— long ago. lie is one of the pioneers.
His admission was irregular. Very much
to the sorrow- and discomfiture of the Or-
der, lie '‘swindled the goat out of his ac-
customed perequisite in the butting line—
seizing the animal by the tail and ‘ rever-
sing the engine ! ’ And, after he he had
seen the elephant, or rather the 'goal, he
published his exper>enoe in the newspapers,
illustrated with cuts. It was very plain
that he could 'swim ; at least, he‘got along
smimmingly/
The ‘ Jour/Printer’ travels. He is not
unfrequentlv compelled to travel by the
force of circumstances. His little brass
rule is an opemsesame alike to steamboats
and rail cars. He occupies the choicest
seats, and puts his muddy boots, or shoes,
the velvet cushions.
He is always ‘ strapped,’ more orhss**—
generally more. "Still, he declares the ‘world
owes him a living,’ as surely as he owes
his washerwoman an indefinite sum which
she will • never get.
Ila is never out ofspirits—animal spitits,
T mean—for he is sometimes crazy for
want of the variety ’dept ‘ ardent.’ Iu
h \
We have heard of an old lady who was
so very -particularly neat, that she always
nicely washed her eggs before she broke
them into the pan to fry ; and was always
particularly careful, moreover, to spit in
tire1 pan to see if the fat was just hot
enough to’ fry them.
--o---
When Socrates was asked whether it
were better for a man to marry or live sin-
gle, be replied, “ Let him do either, and
he will repent of it.” “ It must be recol-
lected, however,” savs tny aunt Tabitha,
“that this was after he had endured for
some years the pestilent tongue of the worst
scold that-history has record of.”
An ingenious man, who desired
from 'Needham to Boston, but had no
-money, made believe that lie was the mur-
derer of Carnley, for whom a reward was
offered, was arrested and taken to Boston,
where he was immediately released, as not
being the man wanted.
An English writer says, in his advice to
young married women, that their mother,
Eve, “married a gardener.” It might be
added that the gardener, in consequence
of hia-match, lost his situation.
Listening to a lady who was pouring out
r, stream of talk Jerrold whispered to tire
person next to him, “ She’ll be coughing
soon, and we can strike in.”
----
A sneaking, dirty fellow being in fear 6(
bailiffs, wished to disguise himself. A.
wag gave him the following ad vice : Wash,
yourself, and hold up your head, and I as-
sure you nobody will suspect who you are-!
T-R u t h .
“ Diamonds are glittering, and bright and rare,
Truth is the diamond that I would wear ;
Stars shine with light that is fairer than day,
Truth is the star that shall lighten my way.”
Handkerchiefs were first manufacturer!
at Paisly,'in Scotland, in 1489. Hats wem
invented for men in Paris in 1743. Knit
stockings were invented in Spain in 1550.
Linen was first made in England in 1253.
A physician walking in Mr. Hamilton’s
| garden aOCobhatu, expressed bis surprise*
at the tremendous growth of the trees.
“My dear sir,” replied Hamilton, “re-
member they have*nothing els.e to do.”
A fellow was toid at a tailor’s shop that
three yards of cloth, on being wet, would
shrink a quarter of a'yaid. “’Well, then/5
he replied, “if you should wet a quarter
of a yard would there be any left I ”
Self-defenea is tbe clearest of ali laws,
for the express reason that lawyers had
not the making of it.
If women were jurors, as some of them
claim that they ought to be, what chance
would ugly old follows.have wiieu'indicted^
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Baker, James D.; Baker, Ben M. & Baker, A. Hicks. The Colorado Citizen. (Columbus, Tex.), Vol. 4, No. 24, Ed. 1 Saturday, March 23, 1861, newspaper, March 23, 1861; Columbus, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth805664/m1/1/: accessed April 26, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Nesbitt Memorial Library.