The Lampasas Daily Leader. (Lampasas, Tex.), Vol. 2, No. 453, Ed. 1 Wednesday, August 23, 1905 Page: 2 of 4
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THE DAILY LEADER.
VERNOR & ABNEY, Pubs.
LAMPASAS, .... TEXAS
Mr. Paine who, with the mercury at
DO, invented a new brandy cocktail, is
Well named.
Of all hypocrites the cantaloupe is
(he most consistent. It always looks
better than it is.
To weaken an enemy’s navy a good
•pian would be to make it a present of
Sa few submarine boats.
Of course Marshall Wilder’s new
[baby isn’t old enough yet to appreciate
tfully how funny papa is. .
Right away after Dr. Osier an-
nounced that freckled girls made the
l^est wives the sun got busy.
, James M. Beck says many Ameri-
cans suffer from moneyphobia. Can
furnish him with one immune.
A Chicago doctor says that, two va-
cations a year are needed to keep one
In good health. Show this to the boss
Dr. Adler says he has discovered
perpetual motion. Perhaps, he has
been down cellar observing the gas
meter.
It is well to have a gray cat for the
mascot of the Peary expedition, be-
cause the cat has such a trick of com-
ing back.
Inspired, doubtless, by the example
of the maple scale and the seventeen-
year locust, the army worm has mo-
bilized again.
J. Pierpont Morgan has fallen from
his: high estate. He now talks for
hours with such unimportant people
as King Leopold.
A -New.York doctor claims to have
selved the problem of perpetual mo-
tion, but Edison is still working on his
horse-must-go battery.
Now that it has had its picture
taken again the Sun spot may retire
and quit trying to attract attention
by making trouble on earth.
Field Marshal Lord Roberts is of
opinion that harping on Waterloo and
Trafalgar is a poor substitute for con-
sidering the existing situation.
Prof. H. W. Wiley, the government
expert, has gone abroad to study Irish
and Scotch whiskies. It’s a great priv-
ilege to be a government expert.
“Girls with plump arms appear par-
ticularly attractive with short sleeves,’’
says a fashion note. The same sort of
girls don’t look bad with short skirts.
Edward Everett Hale says every-
body should sleep ten hours out of
each twenty-four. Mr. Hale is an old
man now. and has no baby m the
house.
A Wisconsin boy saved four heir-
esses from death by drowning the
other day. The laws of Wisconsin
make it impossible for him to marry
them all.
“Seems like the boll weevil wasn’t
King Cotton’s worst enemy, after all,’’
says the Boston Traveler. At last our
country is united. Boston uses At-
lanta English.
New York’s smart set is not as
smart as one might guess from read-
ing the small bills, judging from the
way it allowed a common blackmailer
to play horse with it.
It is proposed to christen the battle
ship Vermont with maple sirup. Ver-
mont maple sirup is a sweet and
sticky compound made of glucose and
molasses in Chicago.
The New York incendiary who dived
six stories to save himself from cap-
ture did the best job of his life. He
won’t dive again, and incidentally he
won’t set any more fires.
Giovani Morosini, the New York
banker, has during the hot spell slept
on a bed over which six electric fans
were kept going constantly. It some-
times pays to have money.
Denver will have the largest Ameri-
can flag ever made at the coming G.
A. R. encampment. It will be 115 feet
long and 55 feet wide. There cannot
•be too much of “Old Glory” around.
If it is really possible to go from
the Atlantic to the Pacific in two days
and a half by train—although nobody
has ever done it yet—what’s the use
»f trying to perfect the flying ma-
chine?
The British Gen. Moody says the
nickname “Tommy” applied to Brit-
ish soldiers prevents self-respecting
men from enlisting. The nickaame
r‘Jackie” applied to our sailors doe*
hot work that way.
The KjcKjsr
'^^/S^WWWVWWWWS^WWWVSWWWWWVWWWW> **^J*<*^d****i
I’ been kickin’ all this season,
Thinkin’ summer’d never come
An’ a wonderin’ what’s the reason
That we couldn’t capture some
Of this geu-wine hot wfeather,
Like the other towns, has got—
Had begun a-doubtin’ whether
It ’ud ever turn off hot!
’Taiu’t been cold enough fer freezin’—
Only sort o’ chilly, nights;
An’ I must confess, it’s pleasin’
To escape muskeeter bites!
But it ain’t done like it oughter—
It may be all right for women,
But it ain’t het up the water
So a man can go a-swimmin’!
So I’ve kicked—till (’other mornin’,
When out come the', old June sun—
Never give a . bit o’ warning.
Jest turned in an’ shone like fun.
Yesterday I durn hear died—
Mottest day i Kin remem per;
fan’s a fool to kick—why, I’d
Give ten cents if t’wuz December!
—Teddy in Cleveland Leader.
(Copyright, 19-05, by Daily Story Pub. Co.)
"There he goes again!” Darton
clutched my* arm in a frenzy of agon-
ized interest, and pointed to the house
opposite.
Charles Darton was convalescing
from an attack of fever which I, his
roommate, had been unable to purse
him through. The day after we had
moved into the apartment my firm had
suddenly decided to send me to “Fris-
co,” forcing me to a hurried depart-
ure that very day. That night Char-
ley was taken down, although I heard
nothing of his illness until nearly a
week later on arriving at “the coast.”
Much as I longed to be with him,
my business detained me in “Frisco”
two weeks, while the return trip con-
sumed another. So that by the time I
reached his bedside, after an absence
of four weeks, the fever had spent
itself.
I had noticed on my arrival Darton’s
extreme nervousness but attributed it
to the ravages of his malady. To his
occasional furtive glances out of the
window, I attached the same reason.
It was the afternoon of the day
following my arrival, as we sat to-
gether by the window of our little
sitting room. Darton silently staring
into space, absent-mindedly drumming
on the pane, a puzzled look on his
face.
“What’s troubling you, old man?”
I asked, thinking to distract his at-
tention from unpleasant thoughts.
“I don’t exactly know, Rex. But let
me tell you, and maybe you can solve
the mystery.”
“Fire away!” I laughingly cried.
“You notice that little window
across the street, the one with the
green bottle on its edge?”
“Yes, go on!”
“Well, that window is in the room
where I’ve seen the most unaccount-
able things take place. Every night
promptly at twelve, they begin—or
rather he begins; she is unconscious.”
“He—she—what on earth are you
rambling about, Charlie?”
“I’m talking about the man across
the street who hangs his wife on the
wall every night.”
Darton was becoming excited and I
began to think he had not recovered
from his delirium.
“There, there, old chap,” I began in
a soothing tone.
“Now, Rex, don’t start that line of
talk?” he interrupted. “I’m not off
my head any more than you are. That
is what the nurse and doctor did when
I told them about the place, but I
Pointed to the house opposite.
thought that you, my friend, would
know better.”
I saw that I must humor him.
“I don’t doubt your word, Charlie,”
I said. “Go on with your story.” |
Somewhat mollified, he continued:
“It was on the first day after I was
able to sit up that I first noticed any-
thing wrong in the room opposite.
Being restless and tired of the bed
I slipped on my b&throbe and sat by
the window. It was shortly after mid-
night, for I remember hearing the
clock strike twelve. A carriage sud-
denly drew up at the house. I watch-
ed more out of idle curiosity than any-
thing else. A man alighted first, then
the driver, getting down off his box,
helped him to lift something out of
the carriage. This, to my horror,
proved to be the body of a woman.”
“Dead?” I asked.
“So I thought at first, but wait until
I conclude my story. The man, after
some instructions to the driver, pick-
ed up the woman’s body and carried
it ini# the house. In a moment a
light appeared in the room and I saw
the man standing in its glare. He was
a big brute, over six feet, with a fierce
black mustache and as villianous a
face as I ever beheld.
--dSL/r
I rushed toward it, but the man was
quicker.
“What did he do with the woman?”
“He left the room and returned with
her'in his arms. Then he placed her
in a chair, and taking something from
his pocket, rolled up her sleeve and
applied it to her arm. It must have
been a restorative, for after .a mo-
ment she began to move.
“But, my dear fellow,” I cried,
“there is nothing so terrible in all
this you have told me.”
“Wait! After he had sat around
awhile, smoking a pipe and blowing
the smoke in her face, he picked her
up and—-would you believe it—hung
her on a peg in the wall, where he
left her until morning! That was a
week ago. Every night since, this
thing has been repeated. Something
must be done. It is getting on my
nerves.”
“What do you think’s the matter
with the poor woman?”
“My conclusion is that he is a hyp-
notist and she is the subject.”
Charlie had scarcely spoken these
words when, happening to glance out
of the window, he started up and
pointed to the house opposite. Follow-
ing his terrified gaze, I beheld the
hypnotic gentleman in his shirt
sleeves, carrying the form of a beauti-
ful woman. He seated her in a chair
by the window, and, standing be-
tween the poor creature and the win-
dow, completely hiding her from our
inquisitive gaze, bent over her. For
a few moments he worked away as
if sawing something, although we
could not. see what he .was up to.
Then he stepped aside, while Char-
lie and I shrank back, sick with hor-
ror—the woman’s headless trunk lay
back in -the chair.
“Quick, Rex! The police!” Charlie
shrieked in an agony of fear.
Hatless, I dashed to the street—
almost upsetting a policeman in my
mad flight.
“Officer!” I cried, “A terrible mur-
der has just been committed in that
house across the street. Come with
me.” And followed by the policeman
I ran up the stoop and violently rang
the bell.
We swept the astonished maid from
our path, and dashed up the stairs,
the policeman with drawn revolver
and I with his night stick.
On the second landing I paused and
pointing to a door, cried- “That is~tht
room.”
The officer knocked.
“What do you want?’* CAme a gruff
voice from within.
“Open the door!”
“Go to the devil! I’m busy.”
Crash, with the united force of ou*
bodies and the door gave way.
There stood the supposed hypnotist
in his shirt sleeves, while still in the
chair, but covered with a sheet, was
the body. I rushed toward it, but
the man was quicker. A sharp blow
from his fist stunned me., The police-
man felled him with the butt of his
revolver. Collecting my scattered
senses I rushed to the chair, and, pull-
ing off the sheet, beheld—a wax fig-
ure!
The man, recovering from the
policeman’s blow, sat up.
“Well, you blamed busybody, I hope
you’re satisfied!” he bellowed, as he
glared at me. 1
' “What does all this mean?” the per-
plexed officer asked.
“Mean.” the professor asked. “It
means that I was at work repairing
my doll when you burst in my door
and floored me. I think I may ask
you in turn, what you mean by this
conduct?”
The policeman was visibly em-
barrased. Finally, he stamered: “If
you wish to lodge a complaint just
g-ive me your name. We thought it
was murder.” . .
The' professor, seeing the joke, re-
covered his good spirits.
“Not murder, gentlemen, but sur-
gery—mechanical surgery. My card!”
I grasped the cardboard and read:
PROF. YOICER, VENTRILOQUIST,
Assisted by
His Mechanical Doll.
“But why do you hang her on the
wall at night?” my curiosity prompted
me. to ask.
“To keep the rats from gnawing the
wax!” he said, and that all there was
to it.
FIRST BOOK OF ARITHMETIC.
Supposed to Have Been by Isaac
Greenwood of Harvard.
In a. recent article referring to the
death of Col, Nicolas Pike it was stat-
ed that “among the curiosities he
leaves is a three-sheet autograph let-
ter from Washington to his uncle,
Nicolas Pike, commending him as the
author of the first arithmetic pub-
lished in the United' States,” says the
Philadelphia Record.
But the author (Pike) and George
Washington the contrary notwith-
standing, Pike’s book was not the first
arithmetic published in this country,
writes Artemus Martin of the United
States survey. Pike’s arithmetic was
published at Newburyport, Mass., in
1788.
Hodder’s arithmetic was reprinted
at Boston, Mass., 1719; but that book
was not by an American author.
An arithmetic was published at Bos-
ton, Mass., 1729, anonymously, but
supposed to be by, and is accredited
to, Isaac Greenwood, a Harvard profes-
sor, which is believed to be the first
arithmetic by an American author
published in the United States. It
antedates Pike fifty-nine years.
Several arithmetics by foreign au-
thors were reprinted here before the
appearance of Pike’s scholarly work.
“The Youths’ Assistant,” by Alex-
ander - McDonald, was published at
Norwich, Conn., in 1785, three years
before Pike’s book.
“Elementary Principles of Arithme-
tic,” by Thomas Sarjeant, was pub-
lished at Philadelphia in 1788, the
same year as Pike’s book.
The Secret Chamber.
Into the secret chamber of my heart
Wherein no mortal enters, Lord, come
Thou,
And make Thy dwelling place ere day
depart.
The glory fades on yonder mountain
crest.
The long, slant shadows creep across
the way;
Even now the clouds are golden in the
west;
It will he nightfall soon; for, faint and
far.
The, pallid moon, a silver crescent,
hangs
Above the low reach of the horizon bar.
The night is lonely and beset with fears!
Come Thou, O Lord, come in and
dwell with me
Through the long darkness till the dawn
appears!
O Thou who didst create the human
heart,
Didst Thou not make one sure place?
It is high sanctuary where Thou art!
Thou knowest, ah, Thou knowest! Words
are weak;
WThen the tongue falters and the lips
are dumb,
Thou knowest all the yearning heart
would speak.
I wait Thy presence, O Thou Guest di-
vine !
Take then possession, O Thou Guest di-
vine!
—Julia C. R. Dorr.
- Realist and Romanticist.
A recent interviewer of Dr. Henry
Van Dyke discovered among his treas-
ures a photograph of Rudyard Kipling
upon which Kipling had written this
odd aphorism: “As a matter of cold
fact, the man who calls himself a real-
ist is in the nature of things a libelous
and unconvincing romanticist; where-
as the man who, admitting all men
are liars, joyously sets out to write
accordingly is the only real realist—
is 8-0 because human nature is ®on*
trarlous.'
Veteran Army Horse.
The only equine survivor of the bat-
tle of Colenso, a battery horse, is about
to be sent from South Africa to Eng-
land where his owner will see that ha
passes the rest of his days in peace
and comfort. He received ten wounds
in the battle but is a fine, sound horsq
yet.
More Land Openings.
By direction of the secretary of the
Interior, 37,800 acres of Indian lands
jn Minnesota will be open to settle-
ment August 17. These lads at pres-
ent are' partly in the Fond Du Lac,
Red Lake, White Earth and the Chip*
pewas of Minnesota reservation.
Mark Twain’s Indecision.
In a conversation with William Dean
Howells not long ago Mark Twain w,as
relating some of his experience before
he became famous. “My difficulties
taught me some thrift,” he observed.
“But I never knew whether it was
wiser to spend my last nickel for a
cigar to smoke or for an apple to de-
vour.’ “I am astounded,” observed
Mr. Howells, “that a person of so little
decision should meet with so much
worldly success.” Mark Twain nodded
very gravely. “Indecision about
spending money,” he said, “is worthy
of cultivation. When I couldn’t de-
cide what to buy with my last nickel ?
kept it and so became rich.”
Cost of Deceit.
Henry Clews, the New York banker,
tfas dilating on the dangers of deceit.
By way of illustration he told of a so-
ciety woman who saw in a jeweler’s
window a collar of pearls that sha
wanted. She inquired the price and
was told $6000. She gave her check
for $3000, saying she would send her
husband to see the pearls, but tha
[eweler was to tell him they cost only
P3000. The storekeeper was familiar
with that sort of game and agreed.
The husband came to =see the pearls,
and that evening told his wife he had
bought them. His wife delightedly
asked if he had brought home the col-
lar, whereupon he replied: “No, dear,
[ had it sent to my mother. You know
it is her birthday to-morrow.”
Greatest of Eaters.
“Who are the greatest eaters and
fhe heartiest sleepers in the world?
The Koreans undoubtedly,” assets a
traveler from that queer land. “The
Korean hotel is only a rest house,
where the traveler may cook and eat
his own meals, and wrap himself in
his own blanket and sleep. The aver-
age Korean wants little more than
these things, and his wife has little
else to think about, after she has
tended the perpetual fire which burns
in every Korean house, and which
must, on no account, ever go out. It
is sacred to the dead ancestors of the
household.”
Upon the best observation I could
ever make, I am induced to believe
that it is much easier to be contented
without riches than with them.—Mrs.
Wesley.
........ - ■ —■■■ i g.
Compound
Interest
comes to life when the body feels
the delicious glow of health, vigor
and energy.
That Certain Sense
of vigor in the brain and easy
poise of the nerves comes when
the improper foods are cut out
and predigested
Gr&pe-
Ntrts
take their place.
If it has taken yon years to run
down don’t expect one mouthful of
this great, food to bring you back
(for it is not a stimulant but a
Rebuilder.)
10 days’ trial shows such big ra*
suits that one sticks to it.
^There’s a Reason.**
Get the little book, "The Road te
Wellville," in each pkg.
i
-It.
M
¥
TM
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Vernor, J. E. The Lampasas Daily Leader. (Lampasas, Tex.), Vol. 2, No. 453, Ed. 1 Wednesday, August 23, 1905, newspaper, August 23, 1905; Lampasas, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth900658/m1/2/: accessed July 16, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Lampasas Public Library.