The Pearsall Leader. (Pearsall, Tex.), Vol. 14, No. 41, Ed. 1 Thursday, January 14, 1909 Page: 3 of 8
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P»4TT.
JosepK C. Lincoln
;rtto» «f ’Cap'n £ri* Partners of the Tide-
Copreto#? '907 A 6 Bp#n£iS «*? Compaq f ,
ttt
fmm/w <or T.D.Mfeimj. /
>y. Just consider yourself engaged
till you hear from us.”
They walked off and left me think-
ing. Thinks I: "It's a fair bet that
that keeper don’t let you two go boat-
ing by yourselves again.”
So the next day about half-past nine,
v v-u I’d just about decided to let
some of the boarders have the Dora
■ Bassett, I looked up from my fish
ines and here was a feller coming
j down the wharf.
He was a kind of an exbihit for
W'ellmouth, as you might say. Least-
. ho was bran-new for *me. Six
foot two over all, I should judge, and
about two foot in the beam. Cast a
shadow like a rake handle. Dressed
ip and precise, and prim as a Sunday
s .(tol superintendent. He looked sort
f gospelly, too, with his smooth upper
Up and turned-down mouth, and little-
wofor«i-cent side whiskers at half
inast on his cheeks. But his eyes was
fishy. Thinks I: ‘‘No sir-ee! I don’t
want to subscribe to no Temperance
\dvocate, nor buy ‘The Life of Moses
and the Ten Commandments,’ nor I
don’t want to have my tintype took
‘ om neither.”
i I *■ stook still by the stringpiece of
the wharf and looked me over, kind
of grand but well-meaning, same as
e prince of Wales might look at a
Light; hoptoad.
(gain. | says he.
ei.o yourself,” says I, keeping on
| with my wor*.
Mr. Ed ward ’as ordered the boat
| for ’alf past 11,” he says.
[ want to know," says I. ‘‘How’ll
! he have it—fried?”
B^g pardon?” says he.
i re welcome,” says I. I can
, i being patronized, sometimes, if
. ul for it, but I didn't see this
tWi
‘Sure! Opper's what I said,” says 1.
He got red in the face. "Opper,” he
says. “Haitch—o-p-p-e-r.”
“Oh, Hopper!” I says.
“Of course. ’Opper,” he says.
I felt as if I'd been sailing a race
and had made a lap and got back to
the starting buoy.
“All right,” says I. “What’s an H
or two between friends? How's your
patients, Mr. Opper Hopper?”
“Look 'ere. my fiiie feller,” he says.
“You’re too fresh. For a 'a-penny I’d
come down and put a 'ead on you.”
And right then I give up the idea
that he was a retired parson. Parsons
don’t talk like that.
“You would?” says I. “Well, you go
on putting *’eads’ on the poor lunatics
you have to take care of and don’t
try any of your asylum games with
me. 'Twould be safer for you and
wouldn’t interfere with my wrork.
What do you want?”
‘‘I’m Mr. Edward Van Brunt’s vally
—” he says—“’is man-servant; and ’e
’as ordered you to—”
“His man-servant!” I sung out, set-
ting up straight.
“Of course. Didn’t I says so? His
vally; an—”
Well, I’d made a mistake, I
judged. If he was a servant he couldn’t
be the keeper. I ca’Iated ’twas best to
be a little more sociable. Besides, I
was curious
“Humph!” says I. “I guess I’d ought
to beg your pardon, Mr. Opper—”
“’Opper!” he fairly hollered it.
“All right Never mind. Come on
aboard and let’s talk it over.”
So aboard he come, making a land-
lubber’s job of it, and come to anchor
on the bench in the cockpit, setting up
as stiff and straight as if he'd swal-
lowed a marlin-spike. Then we com-
menced to talk, me dropping a ques-
tion every once in awhile, and him
dropping h’s like he was feeding ’em
to the hens.
“What kind of a servant, did you say
you was?” says I. breaking the ice.
“A vally, Mr. Edward's vally.”
“Vally, hey?” says I. “Vally! Hum!
I want to know!”
I guess he see I was out of sound-
ings, so he condescends to do some
spelling for me.
“V-a-1 e-t,” says he. “Vally.”
“Oh!” says I. “A vallet. Yes, yes;
I see.”
I knew what a vallet was—I’d read
about ’em in the papers—but this fel-
S the 1
wn to j
i__
ioking
their
~Y-^r -
was a '
——S[
- Tv M
m
• .
-
i.
-
i a n't Crazy, What Made ’Em Come to Live at Nate Scudder’s?”
r.t.er developing no cash symptoms.
My good man,” he says; “you don’t
! -rstand me. I said that Mr. Ed-
rd 'ad ordered the boat for 'alf
it 11.”
I know you did. And I asked if he’d
ve it fried.”
!a seemed to be turning this over
his mind. And with every turn he
more muddled, i d concluded by
s time that he wa’n’t a book agent,
tat he was though I couldn’t make
nor I didn’t much care. He riled
. this feller did.
Look ’ere,” says he, after a minute,
your name Pratt?”
V'jp,” I says. “On Thursdays it is.”
Thursdays?” says he. “Thursdays9
;at—what is it on Fridays?”
Mister Pratt,” says I, pretty aver-
* brisk.
i“ seamed to be more muddled than
He looked back towards the
and then at me again. I had a
; he was going to sing out for
man,” he says, again. “My
ian
I interrupted. “Well, if
hose man are you?”
time! lie seemed to under-
i! “I’m Mr.
an,” says he,
ler’s calling it a “vally” put me off the
course. He was nothing but a for-
eigner, though, so I made allowances.
I give him a cigar that I bought at
the grocery store on the way down,
and we lit up. Then he commenced to
tell about himself anc how he used to
work for a lord once o,er in England.
According to his tell England was
next door to Paradise and the United
States a little worse than the other
place. “Gawd forsaken” was the best
word he had for Yankeeland.
“I suppose you’ll quit when the
keeper comes,” says I.
“Keeper?” says he. “Wat keeper?”
‘Why, the feller from the asylum.
How long has your boss and his mess-
mate been crazy?” I asks.
“Crazy?” he says. “Crazy? W’at
do you mean?”
“Look*here.” says I. “You tell me
straight. Ain’t Van Brunt and Hartley
out of their heads?”
“Out of their 'eads? ’Eavens, no!”
| He was so upset that he couldn’t hard-
ly speak for a minute. Then he com-, ...
i menoed to tell about the Heavenlies, 1 Brunt* “Wlmt a its name,
and ’twa’n’t long afore I begun to see “Well,'' says 1, folks round here cal)
’em come down here
I, ‘‘at Nate Scudder’s ?”
Well, that "was a kind of poser, even
for Mr. James Opper Hopper Kaow-it-
All. He commenced to tell about so-
ciety and pink teas—I guess ’ twas
pink; might have been sky-blue
though—and races and opera parties
and stocks, and “strenuous life” and
the land knows what. It seemed to
simmer down finally to that book “The
Natural Life.” Seems there was a
kind of craze around New York and
the cities, stirred up by that book, to
get clear of luxury and comfort and
good times and so on, and get to
living like poor folks. Living the
“Natural Life,” the valet called it
“So?” says I, thinking of how I
had to scratch to keep body and soul
together. ''‘Tve been right in style all,
my days and didn’t know it. Hum!
going cranberrying and fishing and
clamming and taking gangs of summer
folks out on seasick parties is the
proper thing, hey? And your boss and
bis chum want to live simple?”
Yes, he said they wanted to live
real simple.
“Well.” says I, “if Huldv Ann Scud-
der cooks for ’em that's the way
they’ll live.”
He went on with another rigmarole
about how the Heavenlies bad lived in
•New York. Cutting out everything
about himself and that British lord—
v7hich was two-thirds of the yarn—•
there was some stuff about a girl
named Page that interested me. Seems
she was the real th>ng in society, too.
Had money and good locks and fine
clothes—all the strenuous nuisances.
And she was engaged to Hartley once,
but they had a row or something and
broke it off. And now she was en-
gaged to Van Brunt.
“But, see here,” I says, puzzled. “If
she’s engaged to Van why ain’t he to
home courting her instead of dissipat-
ing on baked beans and thin feather
beds over to Scudder’s? Why ain’t he
to home in New York getting ready
to be married?”
Well, the marriage, so James said,
was to be arranged later. Near as I
could find out Van and this Agnes
Page had mighty little to do with the
marrying. ’Twas their folks that was
fixing that up. Agnes herself had
gone to Europe with her ipa. When
she was to home she was great on
charity. She done settlement work,
whatever that is, and her one idea in
life was to feed ice cream to children
that hankered for fishballs and brown
bread. This wa’n’t exactly the way
Lord James give it out, but ’twas
about the sense of it.
“Yes, yes.” says I. “But how does
Hartley like chumming around with
the feller that’s going to marry his old
girl?”
It appeared that that wae all right.
Hartley and Van was chums; loved
each other like brothers—or better.
Little thing like a girl or two didn’t
count. Hartley was kind of used up
and blue and down on his luc)l and
suffering from the Natural Life dis-
ease; he wanted to cat for simplicity
and Natnre. So Van, havin’ a touch
of the Natural himself, come along to
keep him company.
“But this Page girl?” says I. “How
does she feel on the Natural Life qae*
tlon?”
“Oh, she believes in it too.” says
his lordship. “Only she’s more inter-
ested in ’er charity and 'elping the
poor and heducating ’em,” says he.
I fetched a long breath. “Well, Mr.
Opper—Hopper, I mean—” I says,
“you can say what you want to, but I’ll
still hang on to my first notion. I
think the whole crew is stark, raving
crazy.” ■
I’d noticed that he hadn't been pull-
ing at my cigar much—a good flve-
cent Bluebell cigar 'twas, too. Now he
put it down, kind of like ’twas loaded.
“My good feller,” he says. “Would
you mind if I tried one of me own
weeds? ’Ave one yourself,” says he.
I took the cigar he handed me. It
was one of Van Brunt’s particular
brand.
“Humph!” thinks I, “your bosses
may be simpletons for tfye love of it,
Brother James, but not you. No. sir-ee!
You’re in it for the value of the man-
ifest.”
In another half hour or so the
Heavenly Twins showed up alongside.
And then ’twould have done you good
to see that valet’s back get limber.
He bowed and scraped and “Sirred
till you couldn't rest. They spoke to
him like he was a dog and he skipped
around with his tail between his legs
like he was one—a yellow one, at
that.
When we’d passed the point out
comes that everlasting book and the
Twins got at it.
“Van,” says Martin Hartley, setting
up and taking notice; “the Natural
Life for mine. I envy the lucky devils
wto’ve had it all their lives.”
‘Twa’n’t none of my affairs, but I
shoved mi’ oar iu here—couldn t
help it.
“You fellers ain’t getting the real
article—not yet.” says I. “There s a
hotel over back of the village where
the boarders get the ginuine simple
life—no frills included.” I says.
They was interested right off.
“Where's that, skipper?” says Van
that 'twas Nate Scudder me that
needed a keeper; we was the. biggest
Edward Van loons in the crowd,
and Mr. Ed- Seems that the Twins was rich
! re.l the boat for'alf—” New Yorkers—the richest and high-
I begun to understand—or: tonedest kind. Both of ’em had money
'i>i ’Twas the keeper. Well, | by the bucket and more being left to
he looked his job. \ ’em while you wait. They lived on
-ays I. “AH right. Yes,1 some avenue with a number to it. and
ird you was coming, Mr.
it the poorhouse.
Then they both laughed. Good nice
fellers, as I said afore, eveu if they
was crazy.
(TO BE CONTINUED.)
ays he; “James ’Opper.’
know you, Mr. Opper,’
was a lie, I’m afraid.
ar,’’ he says. “Opper.”
Wise Answer.
Little Maurice had smashed a
plate.
“You naughty little boy,” scolded
they done business in the “Street,”1 his mother, “when; will you leant to
meaning that they dickered in bonds ! be more careful. Yesterday the but-
and such things, l gathered. Also 1 j ter dish and to-day a plate. What
gathered they didn’t have to work ! will you break tomorrow?”
overtime. j “I don’t know yet, mother,” said the
“But, If they ain't crazy what made j child.
By ISRAEL ZANGWILL,
Playwright, and Head of Zioalst Movement.
r-zr.-y
•J&P
active prejudice against Jews is bad enough, but we suf-
I I fer almost more from the conspiracy of silence. Antoni:
I . I 12,000,000 people of any one race there would, of course, be
many criminals. When a Jew is caught in a crime nobotlv;
fails to record the fact. But when a Jew is praised for some
great virtue his Jewishness is left unmentioned as a rule.
For instance, on three successive days last year three great
Jews died, and not one paper that 1 saw mentioned that tliev
were Jews., I refer to Mendcleeff, the great Russian chemist;
\ iscqunt (ioschen, of the house of lords, and chancellor of
die exchequer, and a French Jew, whose name esoa{>es me, who left
£1,000,000—a million pounds, not dollars—to the Pasteur institute.
The greatest d amatic success of America in recent years was “The
Music Master/ written by a Jew, Charles Klein; produced by a Jew, Da-
vid Belasco. and played by a Jew, David Warfield. Many people call
Mr. Warfield the Last American actor, but few mention him as a Jew.
The chess champion of the world is an American Jew. The Nobel
prize in physics was given to an American last year, Albert A. Michelson,
who measured the velocity of light. How many know that he is a Jew?
When- Mr. Guggenheim and his New York firm did something un-
heard of in American finance and stood a clear loss of $1,400,000 to pro-
tect innocent investors, many papers spoke of it, but not one that I saw
mentioned the fact that this was “Jewish finance.”
Everybody said that this was an unprecedented case of business up-
rightness. but the Jews got no credit for it. We are branded as a people
who have only one god, money. Yet some of the highest minded souls
in America are Jews. On my visit to New York city 1 have been enter-
tained by such men as Oscar Straus of the president's cabinet; Judge
Mayer Sulzberger of Philadelphia, who got more votes in his district
than Roosevelt at the last election. I was in the house when the news
came and he never mentioned it; I learned it outside. Then there is Dr.
Jacob Hollander, who established the finances of Puerto Rico; Dr. Schech-
tcr. the bead of the Jewish Theological seminary, who came here from
Cambridge university, • where be Mas almost idolized; Louis Loeb, the
eminent painter, one of whose masterpieces Mr. Daniel Guggenheim gave
to the Metropolitan museum. Men like these ought to contradict the
Shvlock legend.
-a
Wonders
of
Astron-
omy
By ProL Camille Flammarion.
There are rays of light arriving on the
earth to-dav which have been journeying
since the epoch when Europe mss still one
immense forest, the haunt of wild beasts
| and impenetrable by man, who himself had
scarcely yet risen aliove the level of the
brute. Other rays already had set out on
their journey M'hen Hesiod, Homer's con-
temporary. maintained that the distance be
tween heaven and heli had been measured
by Vulcan's anvil, which he declared had
taken nine days and nine nights to fall
from heaven to eartli and an equal number
of days ami nights to fall from the earth to
the abode of lost souls. Never, in fact, do we rcallv see the stars as they
actually are at the moment M'hen we are looking at them. Instead we see
them as they were when they emitted the rays of light M'hich are reaching
us now. The histories of all the worlds are thus eternally traveling through * ■
space!
Every star is a sun shining with its own light and thousands, and in *
some cases millions, of times more luminous than our glol>c. Yet. so
numerous, so closely packed are the stars on celestial maps, as well as the
photographs of the heavens, that to our eyes they appear truly like star
.lust.
In the uttermost depths of space wp discover great compact masses
of stars and nebulae which Mould transport us still farther into still* other
immensit ies.
There is nothing, however, to prove to us that this universe e
alone in the infinite. Another universe, comprising an equal number of
stars, may exist at a million times the parallax of the limit of our uni-
verse. considered here as the one-thousandth sivond of the are. There
may U* a third universe at some other distance, and
vet a fourth at another, and a hundred and even a
thousand millions of universes either similar or not
to ours and to each other. Moreover, the universes
may be separated from one another by absolutely
empty spaces in which there is no ether, and may thus
l>e quite invisible to each other.
Our humanity and its entire history reaem-
blc> but a minute ant heap, and our most
immense astronomic journeyings never can carrv
us bevond the mere threshold of the infinite. I V> VI |
i
Special-
ists
Among
Thieves
By WILLIAM M. CLEMENS,
Expert in CriMinolof.
I here lias recently developed among
thieves and burglars a movement toward
special lines of work so that we now have
socialists among “crooks'* as well as in
fiie learned professions. During the past
year the establishment of a well-known New
'l ork firm of opticians was broken into.
The place contained a magnificent stock of
valuable lenses, microscopical instruments,
gold chains and similar goods worth several
thousand dollars. I la* rohlter took none
of these tilings, though they Mere lvin,r
around ready to Ins hand. He simply se-
cured about a hundred glass eyes and dc-
Two other were likewise* robbed of glass eyes during De-
camp. <
toher.
Large numbers of communion cups are stolen from different churches
even Near, both here and abroad. In one Presbyterian church, where
• •verv communicant is provided with a -separate cup, during flic past Year
2Hi of these miniature etfifliecs have been stolen. The very valuable large
jewcl-stitdded chalice and paten, however, appear to have no fa^einatio"
e 4
for the thief or thieves, though they might l»e a- easily carried away as the
small ettps.
In New Jersey there is a man who is undergoing itttpr soninent at
the present time-a confirmed thief—who never steals anything but to\s.
-
.. ■
*\-':S
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Neeley, Houston. The Pearsall Leader. (Pearsall, Tex.), Vol. 14, No. 41, Ed. 1 Thursday, January 14, 1909, newspaper, January 14, 1909; Pearsall, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth920608/m1/3/: accessed April 26, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; .