The San Saba News. (San Saba, Tex.), Vol. 15, No. 14, Ed. 1, Friday, February 1, 1889 Page: 2 of 4
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l Brooklyns credit stands high The
ctty has just negotiated 5000Q0 of her
permanent water loan bonds at 108
Dakota is the biggest boy in Uncle
Samuels family and has for several
years wantod to set up for himself Da-
kotas population is 040000 and has
increased Cs00 during the year
I Every State in which fertilizers are
sold taxes tho business ostensibly for the
protection of the farmers It is a mat-
ter declares the New York Timet to
which faimers should give their careful
attention
I
The proportionate culture of grass may
be taken as a measure of tLe prosperity
of agriculture asserts the New York
Ttm a Grass conserves the fertility of
the soil while the growth of grain crops
expends it
Prince Bismarck recently gavo a fete
Jo hisscrvants and tenantsatFriedrichs
ruhe jo cetbrato tho despatch to Berly
of 5003 telegraphpoles cut in his forests
Bismarck has supplied Germany with
100000 telegraphpoles during the last
ten years
The valuo of the fertilizers used by
fanners amounts ton yearly sum of about
5jy > 00000 It was more than half this
4fflBTfiYp t L ctrtawiyt
doubled In extent since then In North
Carolina the tax on fertilizers yields more
than iio 000 yearly
The Chinese are making such largo de-
mands upon soap that in time thoy may
rank among the clean nations The im
portntkraof foreign soap has increased
133 percent in five years and 830 per-
cent more is wanted now than was
sought after ten ytars ago
Says the Detroit FreePress Yolapuk
did not die with Fr Schleyer its father
and we hope there is peace in Heaven
for the man who in translating into his
new lingo two of the sweetest words in
every language deliberately colled a
maiden a vomul and a bride a jigam
The Director of the German Statistical
Bureau has issued a report on tho status
of the German population There are in
the empire now about 45000000 people
but this official believes that the country
can support a very large addition to the
jsrestnt number without any trouble
A St Louis diamond brokermakc3 the
singular statement that the amount of
money invested in diamonds in that city
is greater than the volume of actual
moneyDied in tusiness Nearly every
famflyln the city ho says even many
tu humble circumstances4as a collection
of
thdprej3ou stones
Tte =
TouriaU ehroadcompIain that the de
lighfnl calm and qufet of Heidelberg
nan university town has
ise and manufacturing
of tall chimneys injure
castle grounds and the
pn various tugs
iho Neckar
dis
ijhe moit penetrat
Cultural implements
Uern that they were
1 the natives were
t the 6ight of a
v be tDaiT y Uu fiJenavo a newspaper
wh h appears wbtnever it can get any
news not too dangerous to publish
Thelibeterit has not been introduced
jet
A firstclass editor achieves the big-
gest kind of succcssdeclares the Atlanta
Cwutttutfot when he secures a salary of
10000 a year and the best American
novelist thinks that he is doing wonder
fully well when he earns the same sum
ar And yet a fellow whose stories
dont come under the head of literature
whose style is course and ungrammati
ciL ran make three or four times as
much as the cultured editor and novel-
ist Such a writer is H P Halsey of
Brooklynthe author of the Old Sleuth
detective stories Mr Hatseys facilo
pen yields him an income of from 30
000 to f40O09 a year
A company las been formed in Eng-
land to supply postal cards at a farthing
each which wilt make communication
cosfctfexl to nothing It ought in
America a contemporary thinks to be
really less than nothing for it is said
that an American never knows the dif-
ference between a cent and nothing
Thus half a cent ought to be just half
a cent less than nothing The Farthing
Letter Card Company prints advertise-
ments around the margin of the post-
card and thus makes its profits It is
expected that 100000 card a week will
be sold England usea 190000000 of
cardsyear America uses about 33P
000000 of cards each jear
MgggglA > Mi2 > arles I Georj
0jjJ0Brrf7mtoitttes3l to
eacco on the soil of the Lnifed
Kingdom and there is a mild agitation
going on for their repeal If fine writing
i n bring it about it wHl soon be forth-
coming Edwin Lester Arnold in tho
SmiUcnlh Century in championing the
repeal describes the native plant as a
rampant verdant green weed tall and
stately and crowned with pink blossoms
in those sunny and qniet slades of the
Californian forests where the humming-
birds like living gems glitter among
strandTof flowering creepers and the
still green twilight of the woodlands in-
vites luxuriant growth Parliament
cannot stand out against this sort of
thlngTorig
> erve Cells of tho Hainan Brafu
According to the novel computation
of a renowned histologist who has been
calculating the aggregate cell forces of
the human brain the cerebral mass is
composed of at lean 3000uuuu0 of servo
cells each au independent body organ-
ism and microscopic brain so far as
< oncerns its vital functions but subor-
dinate to a higher purpoe in relation to
the function of the organ each living a
separate life individually though socially
nib cct to a higher law of function The
I fctime of a nerve cell he estimates to
be about GO dayt so hat 5000000 die
every day about 200OG0 every hour
and nearly 3100 cveryminute to be suc-
ceeded by an equal number of iheir pro
genyi whiletmce inevery eodaysaman
his a new brain Penmant Journa
The mother of Sir Walter Scott was a
inisll pla m woman
THE ANSWER OF Tljjt GARDENER
He leant at sunset on his spade
Oh bat the child was sweet to see
Tho one who in the orchard played 1
He called Ive planted yon a tree
The boy looked at It for a while
Then at the radiant woods below
And said with wonder in his smile
Why dont you put the leaves on though
The gardener with a reverent air-
Lifted his eyes took off his hat
The Other Man tut One np there
He answered lie must see to that
Sank JT B rtntl inBeloriTs Magazine
m TWO HALVES
THE ETOKT OP A DIVIDED BASK KOT3
THE Finsr IIAIP
Wet and dreary It is midwinter the
icene is Kirklington on tho Iondonand
Sorthwesteru the time onequarter to
5 le ° j ust afler I0 ifihtinail has
Jlashed through without stopping
liound for Iivcrpol and the north The
railway officials are collecting prepara
tory to going off duty for thu night
Wheres Dan asked one of the
crowd upon the platform
I saw him in the lint j
onequarter to
> Wr c
Where did you come across it
asked one
Lying on tho line just where it fell
Perhaps it didnt fall perhaps it was
chucked out What matter Ive ot
Cept the bank note That was in a Corrigan in her transit between London
poor old purse with a pawnticket and a and Liverpool that though 100 would
thimble I kept them all be acceptable on her arrival tho child
Like a true detective Tack examined would be only an encumbrance She
every article minutely The purse boro therefore threw the basket containing
the name Hester Gorrigan in rude him out of the window forgetting that
letters inside and the pawnticket was in it she had for safety deposited her
made out ix the same name purse
THE SECOXD HALF
Sir Lewis JIallaby
Please point him out to me
He was shown a grave scowling faco
upon tho right of the hostess a faco
like a mask the surface rough and
just afler the wrinkled through which the shone
eyes
cloven went with
r ui through a baleful 1 ght like corpsecandles
Can t have come to any haim surely in a sepulchre
i lj
Ao 1 j hed
seen Jack his on It
invitation but when the performance
a common snaplock bagpnrso of faded I was actually begun was at no pains to
brown leather Inside
was a brass thim conceal his contempt and dssTist
bleapawntickctand the half oaBank The conjuror made the conventional
of ingland note of 100 plum pudding in a hat fired wedding
I rings into quartern loaves did all manner
A new parson Harrold Treffry had of card trii ks knife tncks pistol tricks
coma lately to Kirklington and juggled on conscientiously right
He is now paying a round of parochial I through his repertory There was never
Tvf a0mPanied by an old college a smile on Mr Lewiss face ho sneered
chum who is spending Christmas with unmistakably Finally withan ostenta
lum I tidn that savored of rudeness he took
ouT
ih
artificial means
Try him Sir Lewis try him your-
self r cried several voices
I scarcely like to lend myself to such
folly or encourage so pitiable an ex-
hibition
But ho seemed to be conscious that
all in one
Til teli you sir short as I can make the eldest inherited the family title but
it Conjuror or no conjuror vouve got died early leaving his window to give
a kindly heart and Im main sure that hiiiaposthumousheirthetitlcrcmaining
until time showed whether
youll help if you can
Dan then described how he had picked
up the basket from the 1045 Liverpool
express
There was the linen Ive kept it
See here all marked quite pretty and
prot > cr with lace round the edges as
though its mother loved to make the little
one smart
Jack examined the linen it bore a
monogram and crest The first he made
in abeyanco
the infant was a boy or a girl It proved
to be a boy whereupon Lewis Mallaby
who had thc first information of thc fact
put into execution a nefarious project
which he had carefully concocted in ad-
vance A girl was obtained in a found-
ling hospiul and substituted by Lady
Mallabys nurse who was in Lewiss
my for the newlyborn son and
I
leir This son and heir was
out to mean II I M nnd the crest was handed over to another accomplice Ilea
plainly two hammers crossed and the ter Corr gan who was bribed with 100
motto I strike not a common crest half down m the shape of a halfnote
and be never remembered to have seen j tho other half to be paid when she an
it before Bounced her safe arrival in Texas with
And was that all i 1 the stolen child It occurred to Sirs
It was tho watch borrowed from Sir
Lewis JIallaby which first aroused Jacks
It bore the
suspicions same crest two
Vincn Jack Newbiggin got back to the hammers crossed with tho motto I
parsonage he found that his host had strike which was marked upon tho
accepted an invitation for them bth to linea 0f the child that Dan Blockitt
dineaUheBigHousc asitwascallcd picked up at Kirklington station The
the country seat of the squire of the mtial or the name Wallaby coincided
ra I with the monogram n L JL From
1 have been fighting your battles all theso facts and what he had been
told by
clay began Mrs Stillwell the hostess Mrs StillwelLJackrapidlydrew hiscon
when seated at dinner next to Jack
elusions and made a bold shot which
V as it I should have
necessary hit tho mark as we have seen
thought myself too insignificant I r Cwi Jlallabys confession combined
Ihey were talking at lunch of
your with that of Sirs Coirigan who was
wonderful tricks in conjuring and somo found by the police soon reinstated tie
one said that tho skill might prove in rightful heir and Dan Blockitt in after
convenientwhen you played cards for years had no reason to regret tho geatr
lnstancc oaity which had prompted him to give
A c 1 imputation with whom tho little foundling the shelter of his rude
did it originate homcLoudon TidBiU
HOUSEHOLD JIATTEES
Avoid Fancy Cooklnc
There is altogether too much fancy
cooking nowadays Croquettes and
purees take the place of the good old
let
itJf i something companion chatter fahioncd codfish ba Is and hash and
tlie Vin t tra ln a nd he went d ° wn was his habit to get all the information the stomach of the average American
VrA n PiCj possible about any company in which ho citizen is being gradually ruined by too
lt i i P Up found himself for his own purpose as a many kinds of food and not enough
e C0n0a ie wicker lairv d
Kiw fffcvj Tvh ° T < > a ° when Mrs Stillwell good cooking Some of the instruction
rSpSaZjailf f JiVJtencd n bj a flaSS < > d he piled her with artless ques1 in the cookingschools is valuable and
° ° aa trt ° n snn
i 5fbuSnissaa si gljicj njiom onejerson jo if put into practice would do a world of
iw oM2 SE raawSffmaking mentaPhotes to servo good BuT Siie1l rofieeptipns ascuier
him hereafter It is thus by careful and the fearful and wonderful mhttrof the
laborious preparations that many of the caterer at some of the fashionable
strange and seemingly mysterious feats restaurants were better never thought
of the clairvoyant conjuror are per of Syingfield Union
formed
When the whole party were assembled Waslilns FeatherBeds
in tho drawing room after dinner a
choruT oF
and got to look after K by thToahe tJS j
rme I 53tess aW Jack to his work intg Bnj u
t ue feather3 endof the tick
The little mites linen white and There
was l appears to i be only one dissen then sew it
Vuo
lr iS JWJ who not only Ret tub
of lino mnti > r inf VTJ7 VS I across to keep them there
fl I Sff S the floor and wash
shawlan a w itaor did fhe a nf water on luu uu uuu nu
dirty flanneL not trouble himself to tho
All they found was a dilapidated i backup tne empty ena in warm soapsuas rinse
purse
dulgence in the
FirA Tribune
JfiZ hi < r0se rom lo0 ke a unmistakably yawned cIc5C
some uni j warm snds oat0fd00rs Let it
ah yonder tho house 6 f V L Ja ° k f for hat vratch directly 60ak t l the suds are nearly cold then
deserves so through might trwn tiuustick
grand a nameiho hovel make its owr
r ° 0De whose caJe is th ° hardest I for a moment
n
get
his hands Ho
of all the hard ones in my parish This asked for a watch a
Dian s a m e hedger and ditcher one dozen were offered No none of these
who works for any master most often would do It must be a good watch a
for tho
railway but who is never certain
of a job all the year round He has a
swarm of young children and he has
just lost his wife He is absolutely pros-
trated aghast probablv at his utter in-
capacity o do his duty by his motherless
little ones I wonder whether you could
rouse him If you could only get him
to make a sign or cry or laugh or to
take the smallest interest in common
affairs Jack I believe youre the ver
man You might get at him through
the children that marvellous hanky
panky of yours those siirprbngtricks
a child takes to you naturally at once
Try and make friends with these Per
haps when the father sees them inter-
ested and amused he may warm a little
speak perhaps approve perhaps smile
and in the end give in Jack will you
tryP
Jack Xewbiggin was by profession a
conveyancer but nature had intended
him for a nffw 1
Koi
i
7iuuaiir b r a w iZa uottae7
e was more than half a pro
cssional by the time ho was fall grown
In addition to the quick eye and the
facile wnst he had the rarer gifts of the
suave manner and the face of brass He
had even studied metmerism and clair-
voyance and could npon occasion sur-
prise his audience considerably by his
power
They entered the miserable dwelling
together The children eight of them
were all skirmishing over the 3oor ex-
cept one a child of six or seven a
bright eyed exceedingly beautiful boy
the least were not natures vagaries
well known likely to be born amoog and
belong to such surroundings who stood
between the legs of the man himself who
had his back to the visitors and was
crouching low over the scanty fire
The man turnel his head for a mo-
ment gave a pereceptible stare then an
imperceptible nod and once more he
glowered upon the fire
Here little ones do you see this gen-
tleman Hes a conjuror Enow what a
conjuror isTommy catching up a rnite
of four or five from tho floor ifo not
you nor you Sarah nor you Jakey
and he ran through all their names
They had now ceased their gambols
and were staring hard at their visitors
the moment wa3 propitious Jack New
biggin began Hehad fortunately filled
his pockets with nuts oranges and cakes
before leaving the parsonage so he had
half his apparatus ready in hand
The pretty boy had left the father
at the fire and had come over to join in
the fun going back however to exhibit
his share of the spoil and describe volu-
minously what had occurred This and
the repeated shouts of laughter seemed
to produce some impression on htm
Presently he looked over his shoulder
and said but without animation
It is very good of you sir surely
very socd for you to take so kindly to
the little chicks It does them good to
laugh a bit but it aint much as theyve
had to makeem lately
It is good for all of us now and
again I take it said Jack desisting
and going toward him the children
gradually collecting in a far off corner
and comparing no
You cant I
repeater
air Lewis JIallabys was the only one
in the room and he at first distinctly re-
fused to lend it But so many earnest
entreaties were addressed to him the
hostess leading the attack that he could
not in common courteiy continue to re-
fuse
With something like a growl he took
ft V i i f HII t fTT
risked in any conjurr5trick An
ordinary modern watch I might replace
but not a work of art like this
And he handed it back to Sir Lewis
who received it with ill concealed satis-
faction He was as much pleased prob-
ably at Jacks expression of possible
failure in the proposed trick as at the
recovery of hi property
Another watch however was pounded
thoroughly in two waters and starch
then put in some convenient place to
dry When not quite dry iron well so
as to cook the starch into the cloth
Then I shake the feathers into tho other
end and proceed as before
If a bed is not too much soiled It may
be cleaned by spreading it on tho roof
of a low building in a good shower It
should bo turned and shaken while dry
ing When too much soiled to be cleaned
Yonde said Treffry pointing to a tch
f and lift
or paddle
owner uncomfortable if only out in the basket to drain Wash through
But how >
to it into
two good suds and rinse well Dry on
the floor of an unoccupied room where
it can be well aired Prairie Farmer
Undressing tho Goose
The goose is not injured by scalding
as the common fowL or the turk ey but
is improved both for the market and the
table Moreover so far as my observa-
tion extends the senseless habit of dry
picking and the prejiidico in favor of
live feathers have died out together
his wateh off the chain ancT handed it to Wo formerly kept consderabio flocks of
Jack Newbiggin geese and every fall bought to fatten
A curiius old fashioned watch it was and slaughter all that were raised for
which would have gladdened the heart miles around us and we always held tho
of a watch collector all jeweled and scalded feathers for a higher price than
enameled adorned with crest and in < those picked from the live geese during
scriptinn an heirloom which had the growing season and got it too be
probably been in the Mallaby family cause there was among them a larger pro
for years Jack looked it over curiously portion of down We dipped the dead
meditatively then suddenly raising his goose into scalding water moved it
eyes he stared intently into Sir Lewis back and forth till the water had penc
Mallabya face and almost as quickly trated to the skin and then wrapped it
dropped them again up in a thick cloth till the scalding was
This is far too valuable he said completed so that the feathers could be
use of water Keu
Household Hints
Inveterate teadrinkers invito
wrinkles
early
Boiled or roasted onions are a specific
i ii would be Jacks t
further protest n favor
f u 0Q thc che3t
ho said Can tell what I have
so you
in this pocket He touched the left
breast of his coat
A pocketbook
Bahl Every one carries a pocket-
book in his pocket
But do you asked several of tho
bystanders all of whom were growing
deeply interested in this strange duel
Sir Lewis Mallaby confessed that he
did and produced it an ordinary
morocco leather purse and pocketbook
Keep a separate saucepan for boiling
potatoes in if possible
In pressing flat embroidery lay the
article wrong side up on a damp cloth
Cloves are said to be a better preven-
tive of moths than tobacco or camphor
or cedar
Apple sauce is much improved by the
addition of a tablcspoonful of butterand
requires less sugar
New irons should be gradually heated
AroTou prepared to goon said the l l At jl J1 bccone to the
hcat not 1kT crack
ll ls t0
Baronet haughtily to Jack
Certainly If your sewing michine runs hard and
Whatdoes this pocketbook contain I your Oder is empty try as a substitute
Evidence
Evidence of what
Of facts that must sooner or later
come to light
What ridiculous nonsense I give
you my word this pocketbook contains
nothing absolutely nothing hpy
Bank otEngland note locgSTn
RWS3ir
ir if i J nearts i lim iDruptiy and speaking in aToTce of
Heavy i F you do it can bo only a sham j thunder It is not so you know it
While he was speaking he had taken < it is only the half
the Bibl t from the shelf and resuming
his scat began to turn the leaves over
Im nu untaught rough countryman
sir but I have heard tell that these
strange things you do are only tricks
aint that so
Here was indeed a hopeful symptom
He was loused then to lake some inter
cat in what had occurred
All tricks of course it all comes of
practice said Jack as he proceeded to
explaiu tome of the simple processes
hoping to enchain the mans attention
Thats what 1 thought sir or Id
have givia you a job to do Ive been
in want of a real conjuror many a long
day and nothing leisll do See here
sir he laid as fie took a small carefully
folded pipci from between the leaves of
the Bible do you sec this
It was half a Dank of England note
for 100
How sir could any conjuror help
me to the other half
How did you come by it a < ked
Jack at onco
And as he spoke he took the pocket
book from the hands of thc really stupe-
fied Baronet and exhibited for inspec-
tion the half of a Bank of England note
for 100
There was much applause at this harm-
less and successful denouement of what
threatened at one stage to lead to alter-
cation perhaps to a quarrel But Jack
Newbiggin nas not satisfied
As you have dared me to do my
worst taid he listen now to what I
have to say Not only did I know that
was only the half of a ncte but I know
where the other half is to be found
So much the better for me said the
Baronet with an effort to appear humor-
ous That other half was given to shall I
say Sir Lewis
Sir Lewis nodded indifferently
It was given to one Hester Gorrigan
an old iiurse six years ago
Silence Say no more cried Sir
I cwis in horror
Sir Lewis had bcn a younger son
I equal parts of clean lard and kerosene
oil
To clean straw matting wash with a
cloth dipped in clean salt 0 water
then wipe drvai < fic This prevents it
roiu tuning yellow
Clean knives with a soft flannel and
Bath brick If rusty use wood ashes
rubbed on with a newlycut bit of Irish
potato This will remove spots when
nothing else wilL
A good disinfectant is made by dis-
solving half a dram of nitrate of lead in
a piut of boiling water then dissolve
two drams of common salt in eight or
ten quarts of water
If before grinding the mornings coffee
thc berries are heated for four or five
mimuci or until they tako on a darker
shade of brown thc flavor of the coffco
will be much improved
A room with a low ceiling will seem
higher if the window curtains hang to
the floor Lambrequins may be used to
extend the curtains to the ceiling and
thus carry out the effect
Some jars in which lard has been kept
and greasy pie plates may bo cleansed by
putting them in a kettle with ashes or
sal soda coverng themwithcold water
and allowing them to boil slowly for
two hours Let them cool in the water
A sponge is excellent for washing
windows and newspapers will polish
them without leaving dust and streaks
Use a soft pine stick to cleanse thc ac
cummulations of di st from the corners
of the sash Ammonia will give the
glass a clearer look than soap
A Mayors Ephemeral Exaltation
Alderman Yhitehead who has been
installed Lord Mayor of London is a
fanmaker by trade Ho is of course
wealthy as the salary of his office i0
COO will not suthec for more than half
of his expenses Tho glories of the po
sition are many The Lord Mayor ranks j
and has tho precedence of an English
Earl during his reign of twelve months
Heis addressed officially and in private
as My Lord and his wifo ranks at
court as a Countess Onco the term is
over they sink back into plain Mr
and Mrs and aro no longer eligible
for court functions
BUDGET OF FUN
HUMOROUS SKETCIIES FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES
Romance of a Phonograph A Great
Similarity Why Ho Was So
Earnest Theory and Prac-
tice Etc Etc
He loved a blushing maiden
But his soul was fall of fear
So he spoke into a phonograph
The words hed have her hear
Her father moved the lever
And before the day was done
That phonograph was guarded
By a boildog and a gun
Judge
A Great Similarity
Whenever I see Barklns I think of
the trade winds said Israythe
Why so queried Bjones
Oh he is always blowing about his
business
Why Ho Was So Earnest
JIaud Are you really engaged to
Mr Hawkins Ethel
Ethel Yes I hardly know whether
I love him or not but he was so earnest
that somehow I could not refuse him
Maud Yes I know When I re
fused him last summer he told me hewas
going to marry somebody or burst before
Christmas Tcrre Ilautc Etprcti
Theory and Practice
What i3 the half of twentyfive
asked the teacher
Little Johnnie scratched his head and
6Bftl < answer
Well Ill make it plainer she said
A Wso Suggestion
3ly dear why do you change cooks
so often
Because you are always complaining
of the food
Well I wont kick any more Just
hang on to one individual and give my
stomach a chance to get acclimated
4U OiUll
A Literary Batcher
Visitor What a beautiful library you the While sun J1
have I really envy you iJl f
all them calves myself what furnished
the leather Texas Siflirvji
Expcnsivo
Barrowly Im not feeling very well
doctor My head aches and I feel all
broken up generally
r
lunches cost money llarpert llazar
part
Prisoner badly frightened Wha
whats that yer honor
Magistrate rousiog himself Oh I
Within tho Gates
Slender Yonth I am very anxious
sir to enter tho noble profession of
journalism Jto become master of the
great questions and mighty truths of
civilization to mold public opinion in
the right
Able Editor Certainly I under-
stand your feelincs perfectly and I am
ever ready to extend a helping hand to
aspiring youth I will give you a trial
at once Did you notice my editorial
this morning denouncing tho brutal
Bport of prize fighting and referring to
Jake Slugger as a low down cowsrdly
blot on the face of humanity
Yes sir
Well we are short of reporters to
day and I wish you would interview
Slugger and see what he thinks about
it Philadelphia Heard
Why Didnt She Say So
Oh Mr Bixby wait a moment
youOh
Oh I aint got time to wait Its
time for my car now and
But I only
I shant have time to go gallivanting
around doing errands for you today
Mrs Buby nanged if I
But James I simply wanted
Oh I know you simply want a
spool of number 36 thread and a card of
pearl buttons and a basket of grapes
and a vard of clastic and fortynine
other things and
James I just wanted
I tell you its time for my car and I
shall be too busy to get anything today
for
Wait James I
Well for heavens sake say it quick
then tnd let me go I dont see why
n
Isimply wanted to tell you that your
II your father bought one cigar that collar was unbuttoned and that your
sold two for
a quarter how much would
the dealer tharge him
Fifteen cents returned little John-
nie A o York Sun
necktie had slipped hallway round
Well why the deuce didnt you say
so instead of keeping me here all day
and there goes my car Time
The Eucrvnting Sirocco
Most of the hot winds of the Old
World are modified forms of the simoon
The sirocco originates in the Sahara and
travels northward to the Mediterranean
and Southern Europe but it is not so
deadly as its prototype It brings with
it great quantities of the desert sand and
the air becomes so dense at times that
is obscured as if by a London fog
remains on the African main
charactcri7cd mark ed
bJ
Betired J
ButherYes and
just look
3 drJness as th < no extensive water
at the
binding of them books I
vvtn ht it n v j surfaces to supply it with moisture As
r e a b ° Und la howeverai
el on it is launrhed over the
Betired ButcherJust 3Iedit erran an jt bcSinj to take up copi
soand I
killed
iiu that when it reaches
0U3 so
Malta Sicily and the southern shores of
Europe as a wind from between south
east and southwest it has undergone a
change from a hot dry wind to a hot
damp wind The result of this altera-
tion is that it becomes most enervating
to the human constitution Indeed
r > j 1
dotak0 en > nSh i while it from to
v i 1en prevails one several
itfrrLT fc t f f ° U S > ° Uldr a i ioS so dep ssing and burdensome is the
walk makes wind It is the jA d i Autter of
me so hungry and 11Ioracc IlBman s quite dis3
i pated under its fatiguing influence and
i with a temperature ranging between
V l S ilCd metyfive degrees and ° on hundred
i aS StcVabs Cnt minI aed t0 P3 and ten degrees the streets of the town
I
onerStandup You hereby solemly affected by it are deserted According
d arVw IreD C0 of IheeWlt to the Italians a stupid book is put
that t
will
nesses love
you cherish and
down as era scritto in tempo del
protect this woman until death do you scirocco To the Sicilians the oppres
sive wind is a perfect TIagllc > for
although naturally indolent they cannot
stand the further loss of energy induced
by it During its prevalence iron rusts
beg pardon I Its ten dollars or thirty clothes spoil with mildew meat turns
days
Trimming Ills Sails
Gus Do you carry two watches
Jack or is that double chain a bluff
Jack No bluff Gus I carry a Water
rope
emoyed the time varying from bT ia ono PogketandjirJorgenseniinMoftlin w
fc1
Ttir1 TTf nrrir
five uHutes for a gosling to ten for a
tough ofd goose
It is a good plan though net always
practiced to plunge tho picked carcass
into cold water till the heat of the sur-
face of the body is removed A more
common method is to proceed at once to
complete the dressing and cool tho car-
cass in the air The goose is a profitable
fowl indeed I think the most profitable
into a jelly and brought out whole from under favoring circumstances But the
a cabinet in an adjoining room drawback on goose raising in our ex
Oh but it is too preposterous Sir pcriencc whiih extends over many
Lewis Mallaby was heard to say quite years is that it roots out and kills many
angrily The continued appiause pro of the best grasses in our permanent pas
fouudly disgusted him This is the tttres and encourages the growth of rank
merest charlatanism It must be put an weeds such as the goldenrod and daisy
end to It is the commonest imposture I have known geese to totally extermin
These are things which he has coached ate the grass in rich good plots Cp
np in advance Let him be triet with land geese that have sufficient drinking
something which upon the lace of it he water are generally preferable for mar
cannot have learned beforehand by ket to those which have unlimited in
putrid grapes and green leaves wither
wine will not fine and paint willnot dry
Sicily experiences tho sirocco about a
dozen times a year but it is not so fre-
quently met with in other parts of Europe
There is no mistaking the origin
Gus Whats that for shores of the Mediterranean and causes a
Jack When a man to whom I owe misty atmosphere In Turkey the sirocco
money asks me the time I consult my is known as tho SamieL or Sumycl a
Waterbury but when a stranger or a name identical in meaning with simoon
lady wants the tame information its the It is supposed to have some connection
Jurgensen that gives it and dont you with cattle disease in the south of Bus
forget it Ejwch sia On the Spanish Mediterranean
coast tho wind draws more to the east
A Man or Inventive Genius I and is known locally as the solano a
Carpenter You say you want a damp wind sometimes accompanied by
bureau made on a new plan rain causing fevcrishncss dizziness and
Citizen Yes sir I want it made restlessness and people are so done up
with legs so that I can get my head and under its debilitating influence that we
shoulders under it must ask no favor during the solano
Carpenter Of course I will fill your According to the Spaniards only a pig
order but you might satisfy my curiosity and an Englishman are insensible to this
as to why you want a bureau made in wretched breeze Cornhill Magazine
that way
Citizen Well I want to be able to
find my collar button when I want it
without moving the bureau Poiton
Courier
A T Flcht
Elobson Had a little tea fight at our
house last night
Dumpsey Indeed
Yes my wife said there ought to be
liooks Black for the Witnesses
Y es sir said the witness he fell
out of the sixth story window There
Happy Hottentots
The Hottentots in tho Jardin dAccli
matation continue to attract the at-
tention of Parisians but the poor crea-
tures have been shivering in tho cold
weather which has prevailed lately
They have been brought to Paris by a
German who relates that he got them to
start for Europe almost by force Herr
Thege tho energetic person in question
two ts in better and I said there ought first negotiated with Mother Elizabeth
to bo nnl Ann It I °
only one
Your wife was right
Eh Bight ror heavens sake
dont tell her or shell never let up on
me Im president of the Burlington
Business Jlens Literary Club iSur
lington Fuee Press
the most intelligent member of the
troupe who is herself on view in the
Bois de Boulogne The natives were
enticed to the railway carriages into
which they were unceremoniously
packed When they arrived at the
wharves at Cape Town they were so
dazed that they allowed themselves to
be carried like children on board the
steamboats The Hottentots however
have little to complain of in Paris ex
w ere six of us in the room at the time t cept the bad wenther
there was no quarrel we were all friends The men received as pay 10 pet
and there had been no drinking He was month and the women G On Sunday
sitting in tho open window talking and they are well largessed by the crowds
suddenly lost his balance and fell out of visitors who flock to the garden to
What was he talking abouti asked visit them and Mother Elizabeth
a juryman who takes care to put herself in evidence
He was telling some smart things and to show that she is the most im
ius six year old boy said
And very promptly the coroner held
all five of them to await the result of the
wounded mans injuries
Slio Wna All Rlsht
That Mrs Ostentatious is outside
said tho clerk entering the private
olHce She wants to open an account
with us
Lmph returned thc tailor begin-
ning to meditate Do you know any-
thing about her Griggs
No sir butsbo says she is promi-
nent in social circles
How often did she return that last
dress to be altered
Fifteen time sir
That s all right Griggs Credit her
with all sha needs Lije
Different Now
She had been reading of the latest kid-
napping outrage
George dear she asked her lover
how much are you wortht
About 3000 love
George suppose these horrid kid-
nappers should steal e would you give
that 50J0 to get mo back
Willingly darling willingly Aye
if it were millions instead of thousands
I would give it up without a murmur
he answered a ho folded her in his lov-
ing embrace
They are married now and tho 5000
still goes but with this difference that
George now wants to give it to the kid-
nappers Siflingi
Her Last Request
Its all over Lil Carl refused mo
this morning Stop on your way down-
town and get mo a twoounco battle of
laudanum Its my last request
Dont take it so tohcarrdear YouU
get over it in time
I never shall neverl I tell you I
wont live another day And say 1 stop
into Miss Crimminss on your way back
and seo if that dovecolored opera cloak
of mine is finished Sho promised to
liave it done by Thursday so I could
wear it to the opera with Harry Jenkyn
Hed be so disappointed if I couldnt
CO Judge
portant personage in the troupe makes
fifty francs or J5 at least on such occa-
sions Mother Elizabeth howevcrhas
aformidable rival in Jacob the head-
man of the Hottentot troupe who is a
mighty hunter and has slain a lion The
chief orders the minor Hottentots about
and every evening designates the cook
for the following day the functionary of
the kitchen having to rise at sir oclock
in order to chop wood light tires and
make soup which is cemposed of coffee
and salt When they are at home in
Africa Herr Thegcs troupe are not par-
ticular as to what they eat They re-
main in a state of utter laziness until
they are hungry then they go on the
trad and eat anything they can getfrom
a buffalo or cat to a toad Porcupines
form their daintiest dish and lizards
bats owls and even worms are not de-
spised Mother Elizabeth the ven-
erable Hottentot damo has two fingers
cut off to show that sho has been twice
married Graphic
3Ir Blaines Misadventure
The fourth finger on the left hand of
James G Blaine has a long white cica-
trix indicative of a cut from some sharp
instrument He told somo friends here
the other day how he received the wound
Hwa3inl8J8 Hehad gone into a har-
vest field in Pennsylvania where thc
reapers were gleaning the fence corners
Taking up a sharp sickle and seizing a
bunch of grain in his left hand he at-
tempted to cut it after the fashion of the
day The first stroke sent the sharp
point of the sickle into his finger and
left him disabled giving him a Into il-
lustration of the old adago that children
should not play with edged tools Mr
Blaines right hand by the way became
a trifle benumbed by the constant ser-
vice to which ho put it while he was
writing ha history of Twenty Y ears in
Congress When he went to Europe it
was still lame and he acquired the habit
of avoiding handshaking as a protection
to it The habit has clung to him since
his return although his hand is per-
fectly well and strong again and he oc-
casionally apologizes to friends for his
neglect to shkc hands with them on
this account Mail and Exvrtt
WOMANS WORLD
riiEASAJJT LITERATURE FOR
FEMININE READERS
Marriages Ry Lot
Many marriages take place annually in
Naples Italy becauso of money left
according to last will and testament by
benevolentlydisposed individuals to
endow a certain number of virtuous poor
with a small sum of money a an outfit
and when these girls say twenty or
thirty present themselves to the trustees
as candidates for that dower and thc
will only provides for six such mar
riages all the girls must step up to the
urn and draw a lot Of course out of
tho twenty or thirty girls who have
qualified only six can bo tho lucky ones
these six are not entitled to the dower
until all the legal arrangements for the
marriage are gone through There are
always plenty of young workmen either
day laborers or mechanics who are ready
to accept a girls hand and tho 23 or
30 dower for she has had to go through
a rigid examination as to her honesty
neatness etc
I very often see the announcements in
the daily papers of such marriages and
one attracted my attention more than
usual on account of tho length of time the
testator had been dead whose funds were
to annually benefit these virtuous girls
I translate the advertisement literally as
follows
Marriages The Trust2ei of theMonta
Capaldo Chapel of tho Church of San Satva
tore of Pietra Sane lin Naples make known
to the public that on the second Sunday of
September ItiS at U sl lots will be drawn
for three marriages each successful person
receiving the sum of 110 francs M left by
tho will of Csesar Capaldo who died In 1610
andlelt such sums in favor of three youn
women who will qualify themselves which
qualification must take place on or before the
Mh of September The foJoiving are tha
qualifications 1 They must Le descendants
of the testator They must be marriage-
able whatever that may mean S They
must be honest and poor and 4 They must
not bo over twentyfivo years of age
Now here we have a provision made
differently from the usual run in that
the candidates for this lottery must be
the poor descendants of tho testator
Just fancy that will made for such a
purpose by a man who died ten years
before a pilgrim placed his foot on
Plymouth Bock and that it is faithfully
carried out Paris Jkgister
Two American Girls Seo Ulsinarck
I went to Berlin from Dresden for two
weeks with my cousin Cissy says a letter
to the Boston Transcript and we both
wanted so much to see Bismarck Every-
body said that being there such a short
time we could never see him in the
world becauso there were hundreds of
Germans who had never been able to do
so and still had lived their whole lives
long in Berlin So 1 thought there was
nothing to do except to write him anote
and ask him if he wouldnt allow Cissy
and me to look at him I found my
pen and paper and I wrote Prince
Bismarck two English girls who are
only in Berlin for a short time are
anxious to see the greatest man in the
world and want to know if you could
grant them an audience
I signed it with my name and when I
directed it Prince Bismarck I felt just
as if I were directing it to Santa Claus
or to some one up in Heaven Cissy and
I took it up to the palace We walked
by the sentries and through the big
courtyard up to the front door The
butler stood there oh so stern and
grim and refused at first to take my
nolo but when I said Why you must
take it dont you see it is to Prince Bis-
marck i he frowned mora than ever and
took it
If you can believe it that very night
while we were sitting at supper there
came a letter with a great seal on the
back directed to Miss Percy Jones The
people at our pension were so curious
that I wouldnt open it before them and
come when we comd get to our rooms
Finally it did come however and I
read Prince Bismarck will grant the
young ladies an interview at twelve
oclock tomorrow AVe were so excited
Cissy and I and we began to be awfully
scared too After we got into our night-
gowns we rehearsed court reverences two
hours before we went to bed and we
said over long German speeches such as
we thought it would be proper to make
to him The next morning we put on our
best clothes and our new English hats
and started out for the palace The sen-
tries didn t look nearly so ferocious as
they did the day before and the butler
smiled and smiled as if he had never
known how to do anything but smile
We were shown into a large dark hall
and I said
Oh dear me Cis y what if Prince
Bismarck should come and speak to us
while we arc in this dark place There
isnt one thing here that I could make
conversation about
But just then Heir von Bottenberg
the Princes secretary came and told us
that the Prince wa < in the gaiden and
would receive us there I never shall
forget how the garden looked There
was a long path in front of us with a
beautiful foliage meeting above it the
green leavs rustled the little shadows
played all over the ground and Prince
Bismarck came walking down the path
with his dogs on either side of him
How do you do I am very glad to
set you
Ho looked so olly that I didnt feel
afraid of him any more especially when
he turned to me and exclaimed
Is that the kind of hats you wear
in England Horrible They are too
high Then we all walked down the path
Cissy with him and I with the Herr von
Bottenberg until after a while I thought
that Cissy had been with him long
enough because I wrote the note you
know So I just stepped forward mean-
ing to pull her slyly by the dress and
just as I did it Prince Bismarck looked
at me and then he laughed all over 1
walked with him the rest of the time
and he showed us his flowers and I
praised every single flower and said how
beautiful and how lovely it was and we
petted the dogs and praised them
Finally he took us to the Koniggratzet
street entrance into the garden and
wished us goodby and wo managed to
tell him how very very kind we thought
he had been to us Tho great gate
opened and shut everything was over
We had teen Bismarck
Fashion Notes
The French visile is still a popular
wrap
Toilets for evening wear are made up
in red silk
Directoire and Empire effects are noted
in the new teagowns
Bussian cloaks with double fronts arc
extensively imported
Black silk toilets arc exceptionally
beautiful tlm season
Bed in all shades even to vivid scarlet
is more than ever in fashion
F ench bodices are short and low in
the darts and draped in front
Basques are more simply shaped at the
back than formerly while tho fronts are
more elaborately trimmed
The new matelasse cloaking3 are very
rich having black grounds and cash-
mere colorings in the designs
A stylish gown is of hedgerose India
csshmere braided in gold and bordered
with goldenbrown marabout
Felt and velvet bonnets should be
chosen to match tho long cloak which
will bo the favorel wrap this winter
Somo of tho newest sealskin muffs
have a miniature elephants head made
of the seal for an ornament in front
f A teagown of recent importation is of
crimson and goldshot satin brocaded
with bron gold acorns and leaves
Tho gown is trimmed with narrow bands
of Alaska sable
LITTIJ3 THINGS
One little grain in the sandy bars
Ono little flower in a field of flowers
One little star in a heaven of stars
One little hour in a year of hours
What if it makes or what If it mart
But the bar is built of the little grains
And the little flowers make the meadows
And the little stars light tho heavenly plains
And the little hours of each little day
Gives to us all that Ufa contains
pith m P01ST
A violin A low tavern
A private affair A musket
A notable feature Tho nose
A cold water party The frog
A suitable place for dudes Tha
tailors
Many an arm of sea encircles a wasta
of land
Greatest smokers in town Factory
chimneys
A dinner fit for a bookkeeper A
pigeon whole
It isnt every composer who has a
Handel to his name
The old shoe very often finally be-
comes an alleygaiter
Tho man who colors clothes is never
afraid of any dyer results
Aeronauts are generally well up in
balloons unless they ore sick
The broad highway tint leads to de-
struction is the route of all evil
Funny i3nt it The only way a
clock caa do business is on tick 9
People who neverroad a word of Kant
on Philosophy can tell you all about
Canton flanneL
The under dog in tho fight may ba
right but the top dog is more than that
ho is all right
The match trust is another striking
example of the necessity of extinguishing
these monopolies
If you want to hear a tale of hard luck
and destitution just ask a fellow for the
money he owes you Judge
The reason that an undertaker is rarely
a melancholy man is because he can al-
ways bury himself in his business Sift-
ings
ingsThe
The duties of a critic are apt to be
sedentary He is always sitting on
somebody or something llarpert
Bazar
Smith Was Shakespeare a broker
Jotcs No of course not Well
then how did he to furnish so
come
many stock quotations i f
A man in Nebraska is in jail for steal-
ing sausages Thc evidence against him
is said to be conclusive Not a link is
wanted Chicago Tribune
Now tho ardent busker siaes
Uid the corn each cob and spear
And he drops the crimson prizes
To impress a maidens ear
Sitings
Stranger Well boys and how did
tho game go today Boys We lost
Stranger What hayo you got in that
bundle Boys The umpire
Did youever tnkethe pledge asked
a temperance advocate of a tramp
Often said tho tramp Whercl
At the pawnbrokers was the bitter
reply bitings
I hope you appreciate the fact sir
that in marrying my daughter you marry
a largehearted generous girt I do
sir with emotion and I hopo she in-
herits those qualities from her father
Dude Can you ah sell me ah-
a blue cravat to match my oyes ah
Salesman I dont think an that I
can but I can sell you a very soft hat to
match your very soft head ah I Texas
Sitings
3lr Clumsy What do you think of
fwUau > lllnjiIXi
your
r Vrrfri
tytiJ oft
any talent for riding but if yon insist
on trying to lide you ought to practice
falling oil without getting hurt
Texas Silings
Are you on friendly terras with tha
defendant demanded a lawyer of a
witness in our Circuit Court yesterday
Well I aint throwing no bouquets to
him was the quaint answer Philadel-
phia Iiecord
He Was Penniless JudgePrisoner
the evidence shows that jou brutally as-
saulted the plaintiff Have you any-
thing to offer in extenuation Prisoner
No sir my lawyer took all tho
money I had Time
Scientists have demonstrated that
there is more actual nutriment in twenty
five cents worth of potato than in
twentyfive cents worth of sirloin steak
But who is going to pay the undertakers
bill for the man who eats nine pounds
of potatoes at a sitting
New Japan
Tho young Mikado Mutsuhtto tho
123d Emperor of the nameless dynasty
was thc first of the line to take the oath
as a ruler
On the 12th of April 18GS he made
oath before gods and men that a de-
liberative assembly should be formed
all measures should be decided by public
opinion and that intellect and learning
should be sought for throughout tho
world in order to establish the founda-
tions of the empire
This oath was reaffirmed October 12
1SSI and this year l ilO is fixed as tha
time for limiting the imperial preroga
gative forming two houses of parlia-
ment and transforming the government
into a constitutional monarchy
The Emperors canital wa3 changed
from Kioto to Yeddo which was c
named and called Tokio
Feudalism or the holding of fiefs by
the damio came to an end in 1S71 by
imperial edict and the whole of great
Japan was again directly under the Mi
kados rule
The titles of Kuze and daimo were also
abolished both being renamed simply
f KooasoJu > aor noble families The
distinctions between thc lower orders of
people were scattered to the winds and
even the despised outcasts were made
citizens protected by law
The degrees in rank among the Japan-
ese are now as follows
First The Emperor and the royal
families
Second The Kuasoku the noblo
families
Third Tho Shizoku the gentry
Fourth The Heimin tho citizens in
general From Urtat Japan the Sun-
rise Kingdom by ItUt C Uodnett in St
NicuoLAsor Socemler
Chinese Beggars
A writer in a Shanghai journal re-
ferring to the beggars of China says
that largo donations are given to them
by the people but these aro in the
nature of an insurance In the cities
tho beggars are organized into very
powerful guilds more powerful by far
than any organization with which they
havo to contend for the beggars have
nothing to lose and nothing to fear in
which respect they stand alone The
shopkeeper who should ref useTa donation
to a stalwart beggar after the latter has
waited for a considerable time and has
besought with what lawyers call duo
diligence would bo liable to invasion
from a horde of famished wretches who
would render the existence even of a
stolid Chinese a burden and would
utterly prevent tho transaction of any
business until their continually rising
demands should be met Both tho shop
keeper and the beggar understand this
perfectly well and it is for this reason
that the gifts flow in a steady if tiny
rilL London Times
Perounet is the name of an Algerian
who is gaining fame as a trainer of croco-
diles
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The San Saba News. (San Saba, Tex.), Vol. 15, No. 14, Ed. 1, Friday, February 1, 1889, newspaper, February 1, 1889; San Saba, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth110678/m1/2/?q=music: accessed July 17, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; .