The Texas Steer (U. S. S. Texas), Vol. 4, No. 26, Ed. 1 Saturday, April 1, 1933 Page: 3 of 4
This newspaper is part of the collection entitled: Battleship Texas Newspaper Collection and was provided to The Portal to Texas History by the Texas Parks & Wildlife Department.
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THE TE AS.TE R age, Three_
LIMERICKS
Beer was a popular subject last week,
as evidenced by the number of replies.
The judges had a difficult task in deciding
between four very good "Last Lines",
but finally picked the faintly pessimistic
one submitted by Wilkinson, G. S., F3c.,
of the "E" Division:
Our Congressmen say that good beer
Is just before being here.
So call in the masses
And fill up the glasses
We hope it's not a "bum STEER".
This week we give you a chance to ex-
press yourselves on another subject of
extreme current interest:
Now April Fool is the day
We all take a cut in our pay.
We haven't a cent
If not broke, we're bent,
N A M E : ...................................................
RATE: -...-........-........-....-.........--....--........-
DIV.:
(Fill in a last line, your name etc., and
drop in the box in the crew's library.)
O'MALLEY' THOUGHTS ON
VISITING THE
CONSTITUTION
When men of iron sailed the seas
And lived their lives so hectic,
They did not loll about at ease
'Neath brilliant lights electric.
chose old-time sailor men had brawn,
And many sturdy muscles;
Their veins were not dried up and drawn,
But full of red corpuscles.
For breakfast they ate hardtack and
Canned beef for lunch and dinner;
Small wonder, then, when back on land,
Each sailor looked much thinner.
Don't envy them their daily grog,
When each of them got hisn;
Just think how you would stand agog
If told to climb the mizzen.
You men who sail the modern seas
On mighty ships of steel,
And never let a spankling breeze
Disturb you at your meal.
Consider then the sorry plight
Of those benighted wretches,
Who had to turn out late at night
And batten down the hetches.
SEND THE STEER HOMEO'MALLEY'S
O'MOANING
Well, folks, I wish you
could be here in this great
stadium today, under the
cloudless California sky, {
watching with the Battle
of the Century. At the
north-no, the south, end
of the diamond-I mean
the gridiron, their backs a-
gainst the wall, the pride
of the country, the Navy
and Marines, are fighting
grimly but determinedly a-
gainst the onslaughter of
the President's index of L
living costs, and here it is
the end of the first quart-
er and April's Fool day, and look who
got fooled! Swept relentlessly back; the
Big Blue Team took a 15 percent loss in
the shadow of their own goal line.
See 'em-they're in a huddle, while Head
Coach O'Malley jumps up and down on
the sidelines in a vain effort to think up
a trick play. Landlords, butchers, bakers,
and grocers, hundreds of credit jewelry
salemen, used car dealers, and kollegiate
klothes merchants in the grandstand
seats watch glumly, hoping they have not
bet on the wrong horse....I mean team.
The pay-cut team lines up. Joe de
Pression, demon all-American quarter-
back; is calling signals. He's off-of the
gold standard, I mean-around the end....
but no; one of the Navy squad, swearing
off cigarettes, brings him down for a loss.
A try at the line, but a Navy tackle
shifts from his car to a bicycle, and stops
them for no gain. They're lining up a-
gain and there's the whistle ending the
half. We'll now turn the microphone
over to that sterling character, Coach
O'Malley, for a few words of cheer be-
tween periods. (No we don't mean punc-
tuation marks.) You may not be ex-
cited, but we're even comma than you.
Anyhow, it was a great day for the
budget. Wednesday evening saw hal,
a dozen of the boys out in a passageway
shooting crap for their pay cuts.
Joe Zilch was overheard bemoaning the
fact that he made seaman first..-now he
loses $8.10 a month, while if he were
still seaman second he'd lose only $5.40.
The communication office had to declare
an embargo on MSG traffic..besides that
47 people tried to send the same thing-..
"Dear wife--start taking in washing."
Oscar Cish wandered into the barber
shop munurig ' F fteen percent cut".
The barber thought he meant a haircut
instead of payout, and darned near scalp-
ed him!Lvd
THE PAY CUT
Begining April first,
those members of the Tex-
as crew fortunate enough
to be drawing pay over
and above that necessary
to keep a full bag, will be
given a 100% cut, one hun-
dred percent, no less.
After much mental a-
rithmetic endeavoring to
find out exactly what we
are going to live on, we ar-
rived at the usual tune-
ful impasse, "love". But
this latest cut, fifteen per
cent pay and eighty-five
per cent hair, seems to pre-
elde even thia usually jol-
ly ending.
And, while we are speaking of the pay
cut, we wish to advance the suggestion
of one of our bilge legislators that is
bound to meet with approval. He stands
forth outspokenly for a 3.2% pay cut and
15% beer. Huzza-Huzza-Huzza-Hic.
-. tea .
THE BOATSWAIN'S MATEY
T'was blowing and the Texas old
Rolled and pitched in the wavelets,
In San Pedro where the bed-bugs cold
Seek the Texas for their coverlets.
Beware the Boatswain's Mate, my son,
The ruddy face, the bulbous paunch,
Beware the Boatswain's mate
And shun the tumultuous anchor watch.
He took his marlin spike in hand,
Long time the Boatswain's Mate he
sought
So rested he on a whiffle tree
And stood awhile and thought
And, as he thought, within his ken,
The Boatswan's Mate with might and
main
Came rush ng past the working men
Anidi threatened as he came
Cue, two three, fou,
Upon the floor,
His martin spike was dripping red,
He left that place, and with his mace
Went sw mining for the shore,
Hast slain the Boatswain's Mate, my son;
Come to my arms my sailor man,
Oh! joyful day for those drawing pay
In the Service of Uncle Sam.
Twas blowing and the Texas old
Roiled and pitched in the wavelets,
In San Pedro where the bed-bugs '
Seek the Texas for their coverlets.'I003 I IIdV
T HE TEXAS ST EER
Page Three
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Texas (Battleship). The Texas Steer (U. S. S. Texas), Vol. 4, No. 26, Ed. 1 Saturday, April 1, 1933, newspaper, April 1, 1933; United States. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth1161803/m1/3/?q=%22~1~1~1~1%22~1: accessed July 16, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Texas Parks & Wildlife Department.