The Whitewright Sun (Whitewright, Tex.), Vol. 57, No. 34, Ed. 1 Thursday, August 20, 1942 Page: 3 of 8
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THE WHITEWRIGHT SUN, WHITEWRIGHT, TEXAS
PAGE THREE
PLANE-KILLERS
“I met
or
r
war
said Willie*
WELCOME, G. C. EXES’
THE SPICE OF LIFE
I
any breakfast.”
my
she
him as I told
1
turn!
up,
re-
Glen Earnheart
in the
Ambulance and Funeral Service
(Turning to
the
SEE US FOR DEPENDABLE BURIAL INSURANCE
WELCOME, GRAYSON COLLEGE EX-STUDENTS’
COAL
WELCOME, GRAYSON COLLEGE EX-STUDENTS’.
ex-
FOR RENT
JOHNSON
FLOOR WAXER
before she
V-
he
A
L. LaRoe & Co
A
EVERYTHING TO BUILD WITH
Wall Paper
HH
..... ■
Kb
Thursday, August 20, 1942.
Telephones: Day 15, Night 16
Whitewright, Texas
We have plenty of Nut and Lump
Coal to supply your needs, and we
advise you to buy now. Coal may
become scarce next winter, due to
transportation bottlenecks. If you
purchase your winter supply now,
you won’t have any worries later.
With this machine, you can do a
better waxing job, with no effort on
your part. The operation is so sim-
ple that even a child can do it.
You should know
spicy, herbal
A TOP-SELLING LAXATIVE
ALL OVER THE SOUTH
DON’T DRIVE WITHOUT
AUTOMOBILE INSURANCE!
INSURE YOUR EARNINGS
. . . PROTECT ALL!
people
units.
“What was her name
married?”
“Before she married whom?”
Punishment at Dawn
Mrs. Black—“These young girls! I
said
said
“How do you know you love
daughter enough to marry her?”
“Why—I'd marry her even if
lost her job.”
Hubby—“Here’s a lovely diamond
ring for your birthday, dear.”
Wifey—“But you know I wanted a
yacht.”
Hubby—“Yes, but where can I buy
an imitation yacht?”
“A man can be pretty accurately
measured by the size of the thing that
makes him angry.”
A Sultan at odds with his harem
Thought of a way he could scarem;..
He caught him a mouse,
Set it loose in the house,
Thus starting the first harem-scarem.
met a beautiful girl, just leaving. Go-
ing in, he found his son looking sur-
prisingly well.
“The fever has left me,” the young
man explained.
“Yes,” replied Antigonus,
her as I was coming in.”
Qualified
“Have you had any previous mili-
tary experience?” asked the recruit-
ing officer of the colored applicant.
“I suah has, Boss,” was the reply.
‘Tse been shot three times befoh dere
evah was a wah.” ’ ,
Requirement
A doctor who w-as superintendent
of the Sunday school in a small vil-
lage asked one of the boys this ques-
tion:
“Willie, will you tell me what we
must do in order to get to heaven?”
Said Willie: “We must die.”
“Very true,” replied the doctor,
“but tell me what we must do before
we die.”
“We must get sick,”
“and send for you.”
Friend—“Baby six weeks old, eh—
talk yet?”
Man—“Oh, no—not yet.”
Friend—“Boy, eh?”
Recruiting Officer—“Are you mar-
ried or single?”
Recruit—“I’m married, sir.”
R. O.—“When were you married?”
Recruit—“I don’t know.”
R. O.—“You don’t know when you
were married?”
Recruit—“Oh, I thought you said
‘Why’.”
A dime out of every
dollar we earn
B OUR QUOTA
for VICTORY with
U.S. WAR BONDS
Amortized Farm Loans
LOW INTEREST QUICK SERVICE
Annual Payments at Sherman
Farms For Sale — Property Insurance
A. Y. CREAGER COMPANY
M. & P. Bank Bldg. Sherman, Texas
BARBEE & BASSETT
Insurance Agency
Phone 32
Turning to the groom the
said:
“Have’er?”
“Yes.”
“Have him?”
bride.)
“Yes.”
“Hitched for better or worse.”
*
Warning
Whitewright Lumber Co.
“Neighborly Service”
Paints, Varnishes
L
“IT’S A BLACK BUSINESS BUT
WE TREAT YOU WHITE”
Texans Are Serious About Saving
State Functions Despite Taxes
i
■4
In either case, you need IN-
COME INSURANCE to assure
a regular extra income to meet
the added expense of doctor,
nurse or* hospital bills. Call us
about an accident or sickness
policy today.
Lumber, impregnated with chemi-
cal salts, is being widely used as a
structural material in place of steel
and concrete, a chemical company re-
ports. Engineers hope to prove that
such treated wood is rot-resistant to
a degree rivalling other materials in
permanence.
Miss Green—“I know he’s rich, but
isn’t he too old to be considered elig-
ible?”
Mrs. Brown — “My dear, he’s too
eligible to be considered old.”
Jimmie came into the school room
one morning plainly excited.
“Yes, Jimmie, what is it?”
claimed the teacher.
“I don’t want to scare you,”
Jimmie, hesitatingly, “but papa
if I didn’t get better grades someone
is due for a licking.”
Draftee—“Waiter, bring me some
tomato juice for a pick-up.”
Waiter—“Yes, sir, and what do you
want for yourself.”
Genius Doubtful
A couple of sailors got into a dis-
cussion over the kind of animal a
heifer was. One sailor claimed that
the heifer belonged to the hog fam-
ily, the other that it was a variety of
sheep.
Finally, they called in Boatswain
Mrs. Butlam
“My son left the cage
set and he learned
Uncle Levi
man longs for intellectual
ionship, what he really wants is a
woman who will act interested while
he talks about himself.”
Fever Going Out
Antigonus Cyclops, most distin-
guished of Alexander the Great’s gen-
erals, went to see his son who was
ill. At the door of the sickroom
-
■
Bride—“When you married me, I
thought you were daring and cour-
ageous.”
Groom—“That’s nothing. Name one
person who didn’t.”
I
A telegraph messenger boy proved
himself a past master at the game cf
flattery, when he entered an elevator
and forgot to take off his hat. There
was only one other passenger in the
elevator, but she was a rather fussy,
middle-aged woman, and she asked:
“Don’t you take off ybur hat to
ladies?”
With a polite bow, the messenger
said, “Only to old ones, Ma’am.”
L ■
■
Jenkins—“Do you believe
transmigration of souls?”
Dawkins—“Yes, I’m convinced that
my wife was formerly a wildcat.”
Yoo Hoo, Doc!
A farmer boy tried to enlist, but
was refused because of bad feet.
Next morning, he presented himself
again before the doctor.
“It’s no use. I can’t take you, as
you couldn’t stand the marching,”
said the medico. “But why are you so
insistent?”
“Well, Doc,” said the lad, I walked
187 miles to get here, and I sorta hate
to walk back.”
Great Inventor
Says Bob Bums: “I’m quite an in-
ventor. I invented a spot remover
that removes spots left by spot re-
movers. I’ve got a cellophane news-
paper so a wife can see her husband
at breakfast. I also invented a cereal
box without any cereal, for people
who hate cereal but like to save box-
tops. One of my best inventions is
hollow soap—when you use it
there are no little pieces left.”
f 1
-
I
Bill. “Bill, wot’s a heifer—is it a hog
or a sheep?” they asked.
Boatswain Bill bit off a large chew*
reflectively, then said: “To tell the
truth, mates, I dunno much about
poultry.”
Most of all are agreed that mere
change is not necessarily reform
progress.
L J
z'll
■
I
r y
L
ft - •
We have a Johnson Floor Polishing
Machine which is available to the
public for a small rental fee.
1®
By Ed Rider
In Houston Chronicle
AUSTIN.—Texans this year will
pay a tax bill of approximately $700,-
000,000. It is broken up as follows:
Counties, cities and other local gov-
ernmental units, $120,000,000.
State government, $170,000,000.
Federal, $400,000,000.
Two of these groups are anything
but static. State and federal taxes
really are on the march. Foi' instance,
the Legislature last year passed the
largest single tax measure in the his-
tory of the State, the omnibus tax bill,
with more than $20,000,000 of new
and additional taxes. And this year
the State apparently is certain to in-
crease the ad valorem tax for the
schools from 16 cents to the consti-
tutional maximum of 35 cents on the
$100 property valuation to meet the
$22.50 state per capita school aid—
lhe increase, to become effective for
the new fiscal year beginning Sept. 1.
War Chief Cause
War, of course, is causing federal
taxes to soar. This year’s $400,000,000
in federal taxes—chiefly on income—
was more than double the federal
taxes paid by Texans last year. And
these is every reason to believe that
the Congress within the next few
weeks will pass a new tax bill which
will carry bigger income taxes and
other federal levies which probably
will double this year’s total for Uncle
Sam in Texas.
The general view here is that noth-
ing can be done about , national taxes
because there’s a war to be won, and
no one minds paying these taxes to
bring victory, but there is every in-
dication that the people expect* the
lawmakers when they assemble in
Austin next January to explore most
carefully the whole field of state and
local taxation to see where economies
can be made and relief brought to the
people;
It is the view of many that the tax
problem is now coming home almost
to everyone (the total tax bill breaks
down to $110 for every man, woman
and child in Texas) and that the peo-
ple feel there has been enough talk
An accident or sickness
may put you flat on your
back tomorrow. When if
does, will your income
continue ... or will it be
cut off completely?
Just a Plug-
A minister was asked by one of his
least respectable members to say
prayers on Sunday for Anna Bell. The
clergyman did so, and a few days
later asked the member if he desired
the prayers for Anna Bell to be re-
peated.
“No. Thank you kindly,” replied
the member. “She won last Wednes-
day 7 to 1.”
tional forms of local government such
as the county manager system, op-
tional forms to be voted on by the
of the local governmental
Live and Learn
“Did you knock on the traveling
man’s door and wake
you to do?” inquired the boarding
house lady.
“Yes’m,”
fresh from the country. “But he
didn’t wake up, so I finally had to go
in and shake him.”
“Good heavens.! Don’t you know
better than to ever go into a traveling
salesman’s room?”
“Yes’m,” responded the new maid.
“I do now.”
Threat Came True | always say you have to keep them un-
Lovesick Swain—“If you refuse me ' der strict control.”
I shall die.” I Mrs. White—“Yes, indeed; there’s
She did refuse him, and he died as | my Jane, only sixteen, and many a
he predicted—60 years later—after he j time I have sent her to bed without
had married another girl and lived
happy ever after.
Irreducible Minimum
Both bride and groom had
quested that the ceremony be just as
short as the minister could make it.
minister
iL ’ A.
, wmc?: • x • ......
During the Runoff
The speaker was much annoyed by
a man in his audience who coughed
and sneezed and blew his nose almost
constantly. Finally, the speaker could
stand it no longer. As politely as he
could he suggested to the man who
was having so much discomfort that
a visit to the open air might be good
for his cold.
“I haven’t any cold,” came, the
answer. “I’m just allergic to mud-
slinging.”
Zink Says: “When a
compan-
wants
Patience Personified
Waiter (to patron who has been
kept waiting for some time)—“What
do you wish, sir?”
Patron (sarcastically)—“Well, what
I originally came for was breakfast,
but if dinner’s ready now, I’ll take
supper.”
Desirable Addition
Helen, aged 5, came home from,
school filled with talk of a new little
girl who had a metal band around
hei’ teeth. Helen thought it a de-
lightful addition, and said to her
mother:
“Couldn’t I have a bracelet for my
teeth, too?”
. AW
Economy Moves
attorney general suggested
moves which
Misquoted.
Hirohito—“When we win this war
I shall rule the world.”
Mussolini—“You’re wrong there. I
shall rule it. You recall the Lord
said, ‘the meek shall inherit the
earth’.”
. Hitler—“That’s a lie. I never said
anything of the kind.”
..
J
[
f •
Another Victim
“Where is that beautiful canary
bird of yours that used to sing so
clearly and sweetly?” asked Mrs.
Weatherbee.
“I had to sell him,”
said tearfully.
on the radio
static.”
Two Irishmen were looking into a
jewelry window at a collection of
diamonds.
Pat—“Mike, how would you like to
have your pick in there?”
Mike—“Begorra. I would rather
have me shovel.”
The -sergeant was drilling a bunch
of raw recruits. In rapid fire staccato
he barked, “Right turn! Left
Right turn! . . .
A rookie in the rear, broke ranks
and started for the barracks.
“Hey you, where are you going?”
“I’ve had enough,” was the dis-
gusted reply. “You don’t know your
own mind two minutes in a row.”
The
many other economy
might be made, such as consolidation
of county offices, allowing the county
tax assessor-collector to collect all
taxes for subdivisions within the
counties, and uniform tax assess-
ments throughout the State.
Thoughtful lawmakers dropping in
at the capital are agreed that there is
much serious thinking among the
people on local and state tax prob-
lems. Lawmakers who thus interpret
public opinion over the state predict
that they in the coming Legislature
will have to do a more intelligent and
provident job of managing the state’s
affairs; that economy must be more
than an academic word; that what
might be acceptable in normal times
would be imprudent now.
replied the new maid,
the country. “But
t -C.
will
oBH
■■
l________
THE 581ST ENEMY AIRCRAFT destroyed over Malta since the war
began, was shot down the night of June 6th. Anti-aircraft artillery alone
got more than 100 during the month of April, and this recent picture
shows a crew of Scotsmen, with their Bofors gun at a vantage point
above Valletta Harbor. Though they have inflicted more than 2300 bomb-
ing raids on this tiny island, Nazi air strength has been considerably cut
down and the fortress is still in there fighting, harassing the Axis supply
lines in the Mediterranean.
Regular Demand
For years now each regular session
of the Legislature has seen a demand
for the writing of a new constitution
and its submission to the people.
Those who seek this point out that
the present Texas constitution was
born during reconstruction days and
is the product of that tragic era. They
are quick to say it was imperative
then and that it did great good. But
they contend that much of it is
archaic and does not serve 1942.
They want to keep fundamentals and
cling to all that is fine in the consti-
tution, but they want to dust it off
thoroughly and bring it up to date.
Proposals for a new constitution
have got nowhere—not even to the
dignity of a movement: Writing a
new constitution is a terrific job, re-
quiring months of patient work by
the ablest constitutional lawyers of
the State and it may safely be as-
sumed that in these crowded
years no time will be found for this
job. Ambitious reorganization plans
likewise have failed. Many sought to
do too much in one stroke.
Consolidation Plans
A few years ago Governor Sterling
looked over the 254 counties which
were created in the horse and buggy
days and decided that the taxpayers
could be saved much money by con-
solidating many counties and that in
this auto age the citizen would be
closei' today, despite county consoli-
dations, to his county seat than most
oldtimers were. This, too, got no-
where.
Last year Attorney General Gerald
C. Mann made a rather searching in-
quiry into governmental structure in
Texas and decided that the taxpayers
could be saved considerable money
by a diligent examination of the
problem and courageous action. The
attorney general suggested that until
a new constitution could be under-
taken, he believed relief to the tax-
payers could be achieved by submit-
ting a constitutional amendment al-
about “economy,” that it is now time 1 lowing the Legislature to provide op-
for action, intelligent action.
People Are Serious •
Those who have been around cam-
paigning all over the State report
that the people are very serious and
earnest about the tax problem. They
report that the people do not want to
see the schools crippled, the state’s
eleemosynary institutions closed, nor
old people deprived of pensions when
that is their only means of support
But the people are quite insistent on
some intelligent corner-cutting by
the legislators during these wartimes.
One thing is certain, there will be
many plans offered by the legislators
to “save the state.” These will rim
the gauntlet from petty wage reduc-
tions for janitors at the capitol to the
■writing of a new constitution and the
complete reorganization of the state
government.
Some will say that wartime is not
the appropriate time to undertake
such far-reaching and ambitious re-
organization plans. Others promptly
come back with the answer that it is
the very time for it.
They contend that in peace and in
prosperous times little is accom-
plished because there is a great re-
luctance on the part of all to rock the
boat. This school contends that it is
only in times of turmoil and stress
that “reforms” come. This raises the
question, of course, of what is reform.
Undertaker—“Are you one of the
mourners?”
Perkinson—“J am, sir. The corpse
owed me ten dollars.”
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Doss, Glenn. The Whitewright Sun (Whitewright, Tex.), Vol. 57, No. 34, Ed. 1 Thursday, August 20, 1942, newspaper, August 20, 1942; Whitewright, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth1230754/m1/3/: accessed June 5, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Whitewright Public Library.