Hilltop Views (Austin, Tex.), Vol. 5, No. 1, Ed. 1 Monday, September 17, 1990 Page: 3 of 43
This newspaper is part of the collection entitled: St. Edward’s University Newspaper Collection and was provided to The Portal to Texas History by the St. Edward’s University.
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September, 17 1990 Page 3
Views
ney, I made it to the air-conditioned END! ”
The BIG PAYOFF IN THE
guinea pig I would probably still be get enough of the
Dear Ali
Roommate differences cause problems
Admission Office gives thanks to orientation leaders
CPS
+
i
।
88
I I
5
974
2
tempted by colas, coffee, tea,
swimming, and an occasional
smoking woman named Margarita,
but after a short and difficult jour-
L00K,ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!
THIS ANIMAL TESTING HAS
GOT TO STOP!
KM
Hisg
(E:888
ARF!
, ARF!,
best to find a warmer temperature
your roommate can bear while you
can sleep with an extra blanket. The
basic idea behind my solution is
COMPROMISE. To find a median
between your likes and dislikes is
the only answer. This reminds me
of some very eloquent words from
Samuel Johnson, “Life cannot
subsist in society but by reciprocal
concessions.”
time during the last free days of
summer, and their ability to make
us laugh (and I mean really laugh).
And most of all, we thank them for
reaching back a few years and re-
membering what it’s like to be
freshman.
The Admissions Office Staff
9
S
THIS IS YOUR BRAIN
ON DRUGS /
plenty of cable
television and --
Nintendo.
However, lurking around ev-
ery comer, evil witches who will
jab you in the arm drawing out your
precious blood. It is impossible to
avoid these evil creatures although
few people residing there ever try to
escape. Most of those staying in
Pharmaco Kingdom are mysteri-
---------the other side ----------------------------------------------------------------
Summer spent as human guinea pig pays off
those, we are on opposing sides of
two very important issues.
One is her disgusting habit of
smoking. I can hardly bear the
smell of her incense, much less her
cigarette smoke. I know she loves
her cigarettes like I love my teddy
bear, but still.
The second problem we have
is one that can really divide a nation!
I’m a person that can’t sleep unless
been upset a day in my life. It is
“always expect the worst.”
Anyway, as a solution to your
problem, I suggest you sit down and
have a short talk with your room-
mate. Be straight forward, you’ll
both appreciate it, and ask her to see
things from your point of view.
With the smoking you might want
to ask her to smoke outside and with
the room temperature, it would be
starve to death. Because 30 days
later I would be eligible to once
again continue my masochistic
dream in the magical kingdom.
Unfortunately the summer
came to an abrupt end. School was
Lopez, Dawn Lotti, Christina Luna,
Matt McVearry, Diana Merriam,
Debra Rosa, Clay Towery, Paul
Tramonte, Kevin Wallace, and
Celina Zapata.
We want to thank them for their
leadership skills, their enthusiasm,
their willingness to volunteer their
spring we begin soliciting help from
the St. Edward’s students, faculty,
and staff.
The most valued members of
our orientation staff are the Student
Orientation Leaders (SOL). Twenty
upper-classmen are selected to rep-
resent the student body and facili-
“That force,” I am now
answering,”is the force that appears
to be driving most college students
these days: BIG PAYOFF IN THE
7 ANY
QUESTIONS?
the room I’m sleeping in is at least
average room temperature and as
you might have guessed my room-
mate likes to sleep in “a freezer.”
I’m totally lost. What do I do?
—LOSING SLEEP
Well, LOSING SLEEP, look
no further; you no longer will have
sleepless nights. I have the answer.
There is a saying I always live by
and since I discovered it, I’ve never
sitting in a pet store somewhere
urinating on every little brat that
might try to pick me up. Either that
or I would be a little splotch along
side of the highway, with thousands
of ants crawling in and out of my
orifices.
I’m sorry about that. I had a
bad experience with ants on the
Fourth of July. However, that bad
experience was not when I was a
human guinea pig (HGP).
My experience as an HGP
took place not too far from St. Ed’s
at a magical kingdom called
7d
L
-0
END! during my stay at Pharmaco
was a sweltering $2,000. Now you
may be saying to yourself, “Gosh, I
always thought it would be a cool
$2,000. Why did he say sweltering
$2,000?”
Well, I said a sweltering
$2,000 because the BIG PAYOFF
IN THE END! was too hot for me to
handle so I felt the need to send big
checks to my pals at Big Bucks
Barney & Friends Quick and Mostly
Painless Loan Company. Not to
fear though, your hero would not
Nw
V
. 3
Swgs "
N SORRY, PAL... I'D LOVE T HELP
§ YOU OUT, RUT I JUST BLEW ALL
K MY CHANGE ON A CAN OF DOG
8 FooD FOR A STRAY. I ZANT
M. STAND THE SlW OF A HUNGRY DOG!
I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT/
UTO IN VET'S BILLS! —
^YEMYOU GONNA EAT THAT Ett?
TlOWSTONED DID THE. EGG GET^
CPS ■
Dear editor,
Each August the Office of
Admissions sponsors a Freshman
Orientation program designed to
introduce new students to life on
our campus. For our staff it’s the
most exciting event of the year and
the most involved. Early in the
i
p
Dear Ali,
I have a serious problem. I’m
a freshman and living in the dorms,
excuse me, residence halls. When I
decided to come to St. Edward’s I
had this vision of what my room-
mate would be like and frankly I
pictured that she would be like me.
Boy, was I wrong. We don’t have
anything in common, not music,
food, or guys, nothing. Besides
essentials to be
healthy. Plenty
of food, plenty
of rest, and
touch with reality. Now, there are
some of you who may feel that I lost
touch with reality a long time ago
and may have never known what it
was like at all.
That may be true. But I felt I
was losing touch with what I at least
perceived reality to be. I began to
picture myself getting my degree in
drug testing—Todd Hart, B.A.,
HGP, St. Pharmaco University-
Austin. I can imagine some of the
topics I would discuss in their aca-
demic journal—“Can Tequila
THE
“Most of those staying in
Pharmaco Kingdom are mys-
teriously drawn to these
blood hungry creatures by
some invisible force."
TODD C. HART
managing editor
“How I spent my summer
vacation”
This summer I decided to do
something different. No more
slaving away in some tenth-story
sweat shop praying for the day I
could get back into a desk to small
for my body. This summer I was a
guinea pig. Well, a human guinea
pig actually. If I had been a real
eE
■ N .7—2
THIS I6|
TOUR
BRAIN •
suites of Pharmaco.
While at
Pharmaco I “
learned that
there are good
witches who
make sure you
DRUGS F f ™
I UNPLUG,
MY
ER6E425
YAREEGGS
: BAD FOR O
jP YOU FRIED IT?
tot okay
TO TAKE .
2.
-
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• weeee kyedd
SB
1211
,—}
tate the training sessions that lead
freshmen to registration. This year’s
SOL team included:
Judy Anderson, Yvonne Anguiano,
Minh Carrico, Helen Fortner, Todd
Hart, Mike Jackson, Tara Jones,
Kathie Kaminsky, Robert
Kozolvsky, Elizabeth Lapinski, DJ
Pharmaco. To get to the shining ously drawn to these blood hungry
alabaster office complex, I had to creatures by some invisible force,
follow a path that held no caffeine, “What force,” you are now
no alcohol (or other drugs), and no asking,’’could possibly draw inno-
exercise. Obviously not a route for cent college students to these evil
most St. Ed’s students. I was witches?”
-5•
:588 t,
i
g.
CAN IHNVE
2 DRUG-ADDICTS
I BRAINS
PER EASY?
ferry
J PUSHER-Y
a RILL A /
5 CHICKEN!;
[a
'. RIGHT?/
IF PEOPLE ARE SWP DEW®
TO ACCEPT YOUR ANALOGY, HOW
.CAN DRUGS MAKE TO W SWUM
—II9I1
00—
Sunrise ever be watched ‘ too many
times? ”’—“How to cope when your
urine turns a hazy shade of gray”—
“If my mother knew I did this would
she still want grandchildren?”
The possibilities just seem to
go on and on. I won’t though. I just
want to emphasize in all serious-
ness that the drug testing that goes
on down the street is perfectly safe.
I did it once, I did it twice, and I’ll
most likely do it again and again.
I only know of two or three
people who maybe came close to
death during their lives and although
none of them had ever stayed at
Pharmaco I think it’s still pretty
strange that we live in a world where
two or three people can come close
to death without coming close to the
magical kingdom.
However safe my experiences
may have been, if you see anything
resembling a nuclear meltdown
coming from the Office of Student
Publications, just slip a note under
the door and we’ll do our best to
keep our blinds shut tight.
p.s. I absolutely promise that
this will be the last time the word
urine appears in print, unless of
course I feel that it would shift the
course of events in the Persian Gulf.
starting in a
week. My ani-
malistic needs
had not yet been
fully satisfied. I
wouldn’t be
able to get time
off during
school to do
more time in
Pharmaco. I
started shaking.
I cried. I think I
was losing
V )e
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Hilltop Views (Austin, Tex.), Vol. 5, No. 1, Ed. 1 Monday, September 17, 1990, newspaper, September 17, 1990; Austin, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth1523132/m1/3/?q=%22Business%2C+Economics+and+Finance+-+Advertising%22: accessed July 17, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting St. Edward’s University.