The Boerne Star (Boerne, Tex.), Vol. 97, No. 60, Ed. 1 Friday, August 1, 2003 Page: 3 of 36
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FRIDAY, August 1, 2003
The Boerne Star
Page 3A
This just in —
Steady diet of ice cream
can cause weight gain, clog ar-
Doctor disses the dish
system for local cable
More bad news on the health
front. It has just come to my
attention that a new govern-
ment survey released just this
week has proven once and for
all that, hold on ... are you
ready for this?
ICE CREAM IS FATTEN-
ING.
Yes, folks I hate to burst
, your bubble, but for those of
! you out there who have been
rolling merrily along, eating a
few half-gallons of good old
cookies and cream each week
you will be sad to learn you
are killing yourselves.
According to this revealing
information, JUST RE-
LEASED, ice cream contains
a lot of FAT.
Why, according to the latest
survey, eating just one cone
has about the same amount of
fat as a steak and loaded
baked potato.
So, consider yourselves
warned. Don’t blame me if
your arteries are clogged and
look like 150-year-old sewer
pipes. It’s on your head at
this point; if you eat large
amounts of ice cream you
/ will most likely gain weight
and become fat. Or at least
something like that, according
to this latest report.
Before long I suppose we
will have to be exposed to
some sort of warning label on
every half-gallon we buy at
the local store: “WARNING:
Eating this product has been
shown to cause WEIGHT
GAIN in laboratory rats. This
product is ADDICTIVE.”
We might even be forced to
sign for ice cream purchases
at the store, like in the old
days for some medications.
In fact it could get so bad
$ that you’d have to have a pre-
t scription for ice cream.
A sample conversation could
LETTERS FROM NORTH AMERICA power when it comes to cook-
ie dough.
Your weight goes out of
Peary Perry sight. You have lost control of
go like this:
“Well, Mr. Perry, it says
here that you are allowed one
half gallon for the month.
Here you’re trying to get this
filled and it’s only been 10
days.” ■
“I know, Doc, but I just
gotta have it. You don’t un-
derstand ... I NEED IT!”
The usually friendly phar-
macist steps back from the
counter, narrows his eyes and
looks at me with a disgusted
look.
“You mean, Mr. Perry,
you’ve allowed yourself to
become ADDICTED, to ice
cream?”
Pretty soon you resort to
petty crimes, such as stealing
cones from kids on the play-
ground.
You snicker at the thought.
Oh, yes, at first it seems
harmless enough, but that’s
how it starts. A cone here, a
cone there and then pretty
soon you’ll want two scoops.
Then a cup and then you get
hooked and you’ll want a sun-
dae on Monday, Tuesday and
everyday thereafter.
You can’t help yourself.
You’ve become an ice cream
fiend. Your body screams for
ice cream. You scream, we
scream, we all scream for ice
cream. (I’ve waited for years
to be able to write this in
some place.)
You try to break your habit,
but find it impossible to do
so. You’ve lost your will
nt net 1 190
- mawaaoa
- HITSO BRUT
yourself. You think of nothing
but nutty bars and ice cream
sandwiches.
You are caught hiding pints
of ice cream in the office re-
frigerator. You get fired and
become a homeless person,
living on the edge of reality
standing on a corner with a
sign that says something like
“Will work for Banana Nut.”
You hang out next to the
Baskin Robbins stores hoping
someone will go off and leave
a partially filled cup or cone
on the table. The local cops
have you pegged as an in-
former who will turn anyone
in for just three scoops of
chocolate chip.
Finally your ex-wife finds
you and talks you into getting
some help. You check into a
detox center for a month or so
where they wean you off
slowly, ever so slowly.
First they cut back on real
cream, and then go to ice
milk and then finally you’re
down to sherbet and yogurt.
Then sorbet. You can never go
back.
You’ve done it, you’ve grad-
uated. You’re back in the fam-
ily again. You can look at a
bowl of Rocky Road square
in the eye and walk away
knowing you’ll never fall
from grace again. .
Oh, you might have to make
some meetings of ICA (Ice
Cream Anonymous) but you
have conquered all, you are a
survivor. Hold your head up
high, walk proud.
Now if we could just get
you to stop eating bacon.
Comments go to
www.pearyperry.com.
I was sitting here pondering
my choice of connection to
the television media. I had
opted for a satellite dish sys-
tem and had endured it for
about a year. It was time for
me to either renew the con-
tract or to find another source
for CMT, The History Chan-
nel, A&E, local news and
weather.
The last year has taught me,
The Doctor, (sorry Pete) that
when rainfall comes, so goes
my television signal.
I figure that if a storm is ap-
proaching and I need to get
Pearl under cover to avoid
damaging winds and hail, that
it would be nice to be able to
view any warnings issued.
Therefore, I resolved to get
rid of the dish and to hook up
to a local cable service.
Ms. Jan at Guadalupe Val-
ley Telephone Company on
Main Street here in beautiful
downtown Boerne hooked
me up digitally and gave me
free installation. How about
that! I will get everything
that I received before with
no interruptions due to rain-
fall.
Saturday night Gary P.
Nunn will bring his road
show to Nelson City Dance
Hall and will give us a
chance to hear what we will
be getting at the Kendall
County Fair this year.
Scenic Loop Cafe will have
The Bop Kings tonight and
Steve Tombstone Saturday.
Hal Ketchum will be re-
turning to his roots by host-
ing the 1st annual Gruene Re-
union tonight with Shake
Russell and Dana Cooper,
Rosie Flores and Colin
Gilmore filling out the bill.
BOERNE LIGHTS
The Doctor
NTERTAINMENT
WRITER
Tracie Lynn will open from 1
to 5 p.m.
I recently was lucky
enough to be involved in a
new project by Greg Gorman
entitled “Hemingway’s Own
Gypsy.” .
Greg has been shaking a
few trees in the industry of
late, appearing with Tommy
Alverson on stage at Lucken-
bach and by garnering the at-
tention of industry leader
Sam Lowerie.
You will find yourself hear-
ing many of another genera-
tion’s musical leaders in
Greg’s songs. Johnny Cash is
one that comes to mind as
well as Hank Williams Jr.
“Hemingways Own Gypsy”
is available through Campfire
Records via the Internet at
www.campfirecords.com, or
you may order a copy by call-
ing (830) 885-2488 with a
credit card handy. Tell them
The Doctor sent you.
Boerne has its own record-
ing facility with the opening
of guitarist Jeff Anderson’s
Sessions West II.
Jeff has been around the music
business for more than 30 years
and offers guitar lessons as well
as providing a state of the art
recording facility.
If you have been writing a
few tunes and have wondered
how they would sound on
your home stereo system or
perhaps in your vehicle, why
Check out
www.boernestar.com
not give Jeff a call and sched-
ule a session.
The studio is just off North
Main at 216 Market Avenue,
Ste. 130. You can reach Jeff
on his cell phone at (512)
585-2830 to schedule a les-
son or book some studio
time.
Jeff has been involved in the
studio business for years in
Austin and has played most
of the legendary venues on
6th Street as well as fabled
dance halls such as Gruene
Hall.
This is an opportunity to get
some experienced help with
your project, whether it be a
new demo or release.
Tell Jeff that The Doctor
prescribed a visit to Sessions
West II for each and every
one of his faithful readers.
Geronimo Trevino will re-
turn to Tapatio Springs next
Tuesday for Smokin Tuesday.
Though one of our favorite
music critics, Hap Van Nor-
man, will be out of town and
unable to attend, I’m sure
that this rapidly growing
venue will be jam-packed
again next week.
Well, with Hal Ketchum,
Gary P. Nunn and all the
other fine players doing their
thing this weekend it will be
hard to select a place to go.
No matter where you decide
to scoot and listen, remember
that drinking and driving is
both illegal and highly dan-
gerous. Take a designated dri-
ver along and buckle up and
be safe.
If you have a special event
to announce or just want The
Doctor to drop by your venue
send me an invitation c/o
news @ boernestar.com
Pet of the Week
Neutered Male very
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Needs home today!
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and love the animals!
a
Kitten Season at upon cat.
Be a neshonsiole pet ocner!
Shelter is in need of
“KITTY LITTER!”
Please spay and neuter your pete.
They Can
Help You, Too!”
Call the Boerne Animal Shelter for more information at 249-2456
www. boerneanimalshelter. org
Paws Corner
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Cartwright, Brian & Collins, Valerie. The Boerne Star (Boerne, Tex.), Vol. 97, No. 60, Ed. 1 Friday, August 1, 2003, newspaper, August 1, 2003; Boerne, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth1650580/m1/3/?q=Lamar+University: accessed July 17, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Patrick Heath Public Library.