The Weekly Independent. (Belton, Tex.), Vol. 2, No. 32, Ed. 1 Saturday, December 5, 1857 Page: 1 of 4
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«I («vi PEN DENT IN ALL THINGS, NEUTRAL tN NOTHING).
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ANDREW
p-fffj/lu ¿ai*
■ •
y*, EDITOR.
FRANCIS MARSCHALK JR., PUBLISHER.
.'i1*'
-Wi-
VOL. 2.
Belton, Bell County, Texas, Saturday, December 5, 1857.
• v i': i r*.t1 j M V A (iff I i ' A '.i
TBE WEEKLY IlMit
IS I*tJBLISHED ETERY SATURDAY'
BY
A. MARSCHALK fc SON.
TERMS.—Subscription, Two Dollars
and Fifty Cests per annum, in advance
three dollars -within six months, and four
dollars if not paid until the end of the year
Advertisements will be insérted at the
rate of one dollar per square for tfir first,
and fifty cents for each subsequent insertion
—eight lines (or less) constitute a square.
A liberal discount will be made to those
who advertise by the year. , ; '
All communications, except sucli as tend
to the advancement of the personal inter-
ests of the writer, will bo inserted gratis.
No communication or advertisement of an
abusive character will he inserted into our
columns on ant teems.
N. B.—All advertisements not marked
with the length of time desired for publica-
tion, will be inserted till forbid, and charged
accordingly.
Job Woax executed to order with neatness
.and dispatch.
D3*A11 kinds of producetaken in exchange,
for subscription, advertising and iob work
.at this Office.
MISCELLANEOUS READING.
How a Dry Joker was Joked.
At the name ot Cale Meeks, what
reminiscences pass before our men-
tal vision! Old recollections come
crowding upon us and we see an
array of the 'sold' pass before our
minds eye, in the shape of seekers
of the mythical Frank McLaughlin,
the victims of croton oil and jalap,
and the administration of which no
medical reason existed, and a long
line of those who have been hum-
bugged generally without any spe-
cific regard to any specific species
of sell. Cale was the prince of dry
jokers; he lived, moved and had his
being through a diurnal succession
of sells; indeed his life was one
great sell composed of a conglome-
ration of the infinitessimal sell of
fifty years duration. Now Nix-
by, Nathan Nixby, was one ofCale's
truest and staunchest business ac-
quaintances, although he liad never
been introduced into the domestic
circle made glad by the portly pre-
sence of Mrs. Cale, who was some-
what addicted to jealousy. The rea-
son for this lack of acquaintance
was that she lived a secluded life in
one of the little villages on Long
Island and Nat Nixby lived in our
babel of New York. Well, one
day Cale was hard pushed for an ob-
ject upon which to inflict a practi-
cal joke, and in his dilemma select-
ed his friend Nat as his victim.—
The manner in which Nat was sold
I do not choose to particularly des-
cribe, suffice it to say that under the
play of Cale's exuberant fancy, Nat
made a journey to Albany, insisted
that a lady there had sent him an
amatory epistle, which he produced.
The lady became indignant, called
in the aid of her husband who liter-
ally skinned Mr. Nat Nixby, who
thereafter returned to Gotham with
a very adult Ilea in his auricular ap-
paratus. This event happened in
the early spring time, and on a
beautiful day, about a week after
Nat's return from Albany, he met
Cale at Sherwood's. The sell was
disclosed by Cale and a hearty
laugh was had over Nat's mishap,
and at his still bruised fealures, in
which he joined; but those present
noticed the fact that he didn't laugh
an inch below his chin; in truth, it
was generally believed that Nat's
mirth was entirely simulated.
"Now old fellow!" said Cale,
"you don't hold any malice, do you?"
' Not a bit," answered Nat, "and
in token of afnity, let us take a
snjilo all around." Which thing
¡they did in the usual manner.
"How did you come to town?'
asked Nat.
"I drove up in a light wagon,"
replied Cale.
"And when will you return home?"
"About six o'clock this evening,"
responded Cale.
Nat thereupon pleaded an engage-
ment and left; but as soon as he
was out of eye-shot of his joker
friend, repaired to Gray's stable in
Warren street, whero he hired a
fast horse and light vehicle, and
with which he started, through a
bye street, for the residence of his
friend Cale, on Long Island.
On arriving, he left his horse át a
public house, and proceeded to the
aforesaid residence, whore he inqui-
red of the servant if Mr. Meeks was
at home. On being answered is he
knew he \fcould be, in the negative,
he said:
"This is unfortunate. I wanted
to pay hiin some money. If I could
see Mrs. Meeks it would do as well;
sho could give me a receipt in the
name of her husband."
Mrs. M. was frugal and industri-
ous and always attentive to her hus-
band's interest. As the last remark
fell from the lips of Nat, a fine look-
ing matron called from up the stairs,
to "show the gentleman into the par-
lor," where sho followed in a few
minutes. Nat bowed and said:
"I desired to see Mrs. Meeks, ma-
dam."
"Very well," replied she, "I am
Mrs. Meeks!"
"Pardon me madam," said Nat,
with a doubting shake of the head;
"but this is a matter of some impor-
tance—the payment of money; and
you are not the lady Mi-. Meeks in-
troduced to me as his wife last win-
ter!"
"Not the lady? what!" shrieked
she; "Do you mean to tell me that
ft
"I simply tell 3*011, madam," repli-
ed Nat, with icy imperturbability,
"that Mr. Meeks last winter, in
Broadway near Leonard street, in-
troduced me to a lady whom he call-
ed Mrs. Meeks, and you are not the
lady."
"Indeed!" exclaimed Mrs Meeks,
her eyes flashing fire; "How old
was sho?"
"Well, about twenty-five."
"Twenty-five! And how was she
dressed?"
"She wore her hair in wringlets,
had diamond ear-rings "
"Diamond ear-rings!"
"A heavy silk velvet dress, very
large gold bracelets, a magnificent
watch and chain."
"Well, go on," she said spitefully.
"Silk Velvet hat trimmed with
magnificent lace, and a muff and
boa."
"Boa!" wrenched out the now
thoroughly irrate dame; "you'd bet-
ter bore your way out of this house,
sir, mighty quick, or else somebody
will have a headache! No, sir, I
am not Mrs. Meeks, and I want you
to leave."
"Oh, certainly," said Nat, who
saw the tallest kind of a squall
brewing, and who had good reason
to fear that the sturdy dame might
launch at his head a conk-shell, or
some other of the heavy ornaments
that adorned the mantle, Nat there-
fore beat a retreat off the premises,
and placed himself behind a stone
fence where he could command a
view of the Brooklyn turnpike. He
did not wait long before he saw the
amiable Cale driving down the road
all unconscious of the ambush of
Nat. The expression on Cale's face
was one of great amiability, and
exemplified that he was at peace
with "all the world and the rest of
mankind."
In a brief space of time Cale's
steed was given into the charge of
a stable.boy, and unconscious and
and an instant after Cale hurriedly
came through the door, with amaze-
ment on his front and a mop in his
rear, the wrong end of which was
under the direct and personal su-
perintendence of a__ lady, who was
very red in the face and very sturdy
in the arms, and who strongly re-
sembled Mrs. Meeks. The battle
had commenced'in the passage way.
Cale's castor, which shone in the
rays of the setting sun as he drove
down the road, was now very much
bruised out of shape, indeed it was
driven far down over Cale's amiable
physiognomy.
"What the thunder's out?" yelled
Cale.
■Twenty-five years ¿>ld! shrieked
the infuriate dame, and bang, Cale
caught the mop over his shoulders.
"Corkscrew ringlets!" and punk he
got it in the back, with all the
strength which nature and anger
had given to the enraged lady.
"D n it, don't do that!"
But it waB no use, he had to take
it,
"Diamond ear-rings!" punk! "Silk
velvet dress!" bang! "Gold bracelets!
slump\
"Murder!" roared Cale.
"Watch and chain!" she shrieked,
and biff! he took it over the head.
"Muff!" bang! slump! "Boa!" bang1
bang! and down went Calo with a
yell of murder.
Now fell the blows thick and fast,
upon the bruised head, back and face
of the prostrate joker; while the
lady again rehearsed the catalogue
of the wearing apparel and jewels
of the other Mrs. Meek timing the
utterance of the name 0/ each arti-
cle with a blow upon her prostrate,
writhing and bleeding lord.
But all things must have an end.
The violent exercise of the arma
and the lungs, in which Mrs. Meek
had indulged, had somewhat exhaus-
ted her. She had thrice run though
Nat's imaginary catalogue, and feel-
ing, her strength departing, gathered
herself up for one grand and final ef-
fort. Cale looked witli horror upon the
upraised mop; lie heard the words:
''Oh! the'huzzy?" shouted in a vig-
orous tone; he heard a hurtling,
wh'zzing sound in the air, and the
next instant Cale's nose was as fiat
as the other places on Cale's face.
His two tormentors retreated into
the mansion, and left him alone with
his gore. Slowly and with the most
keen sensations of pain, he rais-
edjiimself into a sitting posture,
and, with many a groan of agony,
proceeded to inspect his' personal
condition.
"I'm d -d if this arm ain't bro-
ken!—0I1! and this shoulder must
be dislocated! Oh! oh! And, good
God! what a nose! That woman
must be crazy! I shan't be able to
go about in a month! Oh, Lord! how
sore I am!"
tf
1 ■ ■■"11 r y.ifp
ing bad hat, who had taken posses-
sion of a fowling-piece loaded with
buckshot. If the lame man meant
to shoot Nat, he reckoned without
his host. That worthy, thanks to a
long and thin pair of legs, was
out of gun-shot range. *
Cale from that time forth, and till
he filled the grave which he now co
oupies. so well, eschewed dry joking,
and was always sensitive on the.
subject of mops.
Leather Scraps.
The manufacturers of leather
boots, shoes, harness, whipus and
port-monaies afford a good deal of
waste material that might be turn,
ed to good account in the village
gardens. The shoemaker always
has a pile of leather scraps in front
of his shop door. Sometimes they
lie several feet in thickness in the
street. These wastes are among
the most valuable fertilizers for
grape vines and for all fruit trees.
In some parts of England these
wastes sell as high as four cense a
pound. They decay slowly in the
soil, and like bones, impart nourish-
ment to the trees for a term of years.
In this country not one in a hundred
knows anything of their value.
The shoemaker probably buys ma-
nure from the stables and throws a'
more valuable manure into the street.
Nothing, can be easier than
gathering of these wastes. JThey
can be had in most villages for tho
carting, and the owner is glad to
get rid of them. Put those wastes
around your vines and fruit trees,
and they will soon turn into purple
clusters and golden fruit trees.
Drinking Among Voting men.
on
The Philadelphia Sun says truly,
that indiscriminate drinking among
our young men must eventually
make its mark upon the population
of our citfes. We can hoc it already
betraying itself in the rising genera
tion. It is impossible for any man
to drink even pure Jiquors six or sev-
en times a day without suffering se-
verely in constitution. And when he
transmits this impaired eonstitulkgi
to his own son, who in turn Impatro
it still further by tho sdmc course
it requires little foresight to sec that
wc arc preparing a population for
our cities that will not, in physical
frame be much better than the
wretched Aztecs. This love of drink
and bar-rooms is every day increas-
ing. Every day sees fresh saloons
starting up in our midst. Every day
sees our youth becoming more and
more the victims of this habit, for
really we think it more a habit, than
a provision. It is no love for jovial-
ity that tempts them, except in a
few cases. It is not the hot exuber-
ance of youth. It is not tho evan-
escent impulse of the gay young fel-
-• M THE FARMER.
Poultry Housis.—Lime or burned
bones should be provided for hens
before winter sets in, and an occa-
ional supply of chopped refuse meat
will greatly increase the numbor of
eggs. NesfcB should also be prepar-
ed, into whioh the hens can steal
unobserved. A dozen of fowls shut
up away from other means of obtain-
ing food, require at least a quart of
indian corn a day, or other food in
proportion.
Thk Gapbs in Chickens.—A .cor-
respondent stys: "Tell those of
your readers who are interested in
raising chickens, that a small pinch
of gunpowder, given to a chicken
with the gapes, will effect á sure
and complete cure in from one to
three hours time, and leave the chick
healthy and hearty.
Gano Plow.—This improvement
professes to , surmount the difficul-
ties that usually attend the use of
gang plows, allowing them a vorti-
cal and latoral adjustment, and also
that they will ride over any ob-
struction independent of cach other.
They are also provided with rotating,
coulters and a swivel whoel, by
which they may be guided. It is
the invention of S. L. Kingston and
Daniel Gore of Plain View, 111.
^ < > - ——
Remedy for Diarrhcea.—The fol-
lowing is said to be very efficacious:
Take a handful of strawberry
leaves and pour on them half a pint
of boiling water; let it remain one
hour and drink the tea. If you can-
not get boiling water, chew and
swallow the juice. This is a most
valuable and efficient remedy. It
rarely fails to give immediate relief,
and performs a permanent cure: •
worn
. rao-- .0 r¿¿iM r
The Herald learn £ro* Mr. Byrd,
who had juat arrived, o^rland, from
Texas, that fifteen
fifty or sixty, that
rendezvous, near Fort Belknap, had
arrived at Vallecito. Mr. B. stated
that they had great trouble with the
Indians on the road; they had robbed
his father's train of forty-two head
of stock; and that Short and Ellis'
train had lost fifty-six head of stock,
including sixteen yoke of working
Oten; had two men killed, named
Shoat and Irwin, and Mr.'John Lang-
ford and Mr. Pistole badly wounded,
by the Apaohes, who attacked them
between Fort Thorn and Tueaon.—
The Herald asks, what tho dragoons
aró doing in that section.
The emigrants are said to be in a
destitute Condition, haying allsuffer-
ed more or less from ths loss of their
stock. Those with whom tho editor
conversed spoke highly in praise of
Captain Burton, commandant at Fort.
Yuma, for the readiness with which
he relieved their necessities.—-San
Antomo Ltigtr.
N f.cRALGio Headache.—The appli-
cation of towels, rung out in hot wa-
ter, to tho forehead and temples, is
represented to be an efficacious and
speedy remedy from headaches ari-
sing from neuralgic affections.
San Diego mall.
A Belgian journal states that the
Frenoh Government has given the
English Government the privilege
of transporting troops thro' France
on their way to India. But this
journal forgets that, inasmuch as
the troops go by way of the Gape ef
Good Hope, there would be no time
gained in passing through France.
Even for the two hundred men that
are to be sent by the overland route,
the troublo of disembarking and
embarking will oonsume as much
time as would be lost in going di-
rect to Malta by Gibralta.
The Supremo Court of Tennessee,
in sossion in Knoxville, it is stated,
•decided the other day that betting on
an election held out of the State is
not indictable in Tennessee.
low who is sowing his wild oats.—
Now, Nat., with the mostplcasea- It is as has been said, a cold, delibe-
rate, confirmed habit. No atmos-
pliere of recklessness or jollity sur-
rounds the drinking groups, except
ble emotions, had through the crev-
ice of the fence, observed the
little family jar which I have so
freely described; and he now stood on occasions, and peals of merriment
looking over the fence, at tho back
of his dear friend.
"I say, Uncle Cale!" shouted Nat.
"Hey!" said Cale, as turned, in
some little astonishment,, a look up-
on his former victim.
"I say Cale," continued Nat, "how
do you feel about now?"
"Oh!" you ?" I shall leave
it blank, yelled out the enraged Cale,
as he sprang to his feet and made
for the house, "I'll fix your flint!"
Bnt Nat didn't wanthisfiint fixed,
and therefore made his way with all
happy, he entered his domicil and! lhe Gclerity) up tlie road
shut the door. The moment he en-< Soon after, there appeared upon
tered an attentive ear might ha\ e de- j ^ grcen8Warc]i rendered sangunary
tectcd the sounds of a voice in no way ■ ftJM| Bacre¿ by conjugal andearments,
mellow or expressive of endearment; I a lame man, who wore a shock
atone for the act, by proving that it
is at least unusual. A grim and mel-
ancholy air pervades cach countcn-
ar.ee. The drinks are. poured out,
the glasses raised and touched with
a loathsome air of custom, and each
man swallows his portion with the
same impassive countenance lie
would wear if he were drinking a
glass of plain water. All the con-
comitants that partially redeemed
or excused, are wanting in this sad
and formal ceremony. The actors
drink, not because they love it, and
want to be merry, but because they
have been accustomed to it ever
since they were boye, and that has
now become a habit which is more
imperious than if it wore passion,
A Yankee Trial.
of-
The mail party left San Diego on
24th Scpt'r., and arrived.at San Ah
tonio on the 25th ult., at five o'clock
a. m. The ambulance was left at
Devil's river; tho mail being carried
thenco on mule-back to this city.—
From the time tho party left Devil's
river until they reached town it rain-
ed incessantly. The ambulance ar-
rived at San Antonio on Tuesday, the
27Ih, bringing Senator Hyde, and an-
other gentleman, as passengers.
The mail brings na copies of the
San Diego Herald, of tho 12th and
19 th September. The Herald states
that the mail which left here on the
9th of August arrived at San Diego
on the 8th of September, makihg the
trip in thirty days—the exact sched-
ule time; and tho editor asks:
"Over what other route across the
continent can a trip be made in evón
fifty days? And the mail was bro't
one thousand four hundred and thirty
miles in wagons."
A battle took place between the
I'imos and Maricopas, on the one
side, and Yum as and their allies on
the other. The mail-party saw tho
fighting, and could plainly seé the
Ynmas give way, and run up the
mountain where tho horsemen of the
enemy could not follow them. One
old chief was anxious tfrfct the mail
party should assist in driving ^'41"
Yumas. There Were, probably,
hundred engaged on each side.
Herald says, the Yumas must hi
made a direct march to the Colorí
as the mail-party saw none along
Gila. Every vote polled in the
Diego county was cast for John
Weller for Governor.
Old benjamin R——
Connecticut, or as ho was called by
his neighbors, 'Uncle Beqjie,' had an
unconquerable desire ttf open a con-
versation with every man he saw
whether stranger or friend. He one
day met a person who proved to be
more than a match for him. Sidling
up to a gentleman, whom we shall
designate as R., he remarked:
'Nice wduther for shoati.'
R motioned with his hand to-
wards bis ears and mouth,. but said
nothing. Uncle Benjie interuptod
bis silence into an assent, and con.
tinned:
'Want to buy any Bhoats down
your way?'
Ag&in the stranger rfiook his head
and repeated bis pantomine.
'Ob, yon don't, dew youf said
Uncle Ben, and then for a fow min-
utes relapsed into silence. At
length he returned to the attack.
Raising both hands, ho oxclaimed.
'Well, I never saw a sheep eat so
much in my life!'
Hereupon R. drew a slip of paper
from his pocket and wrote on it:
'I am hard of hearing,'
*0, you be, be yo?' said Ünclo
Benjie, raising his voico to a pitch
which severely tried the strength of"
his lnngs. 'How did it happen?'
' The stranger shouted in answer:
'Talking to a fool/ at the samo
time rising and walking quietly
away.
For a moment Uncle Benjie, was
nonplussed. Turning to the bystand-
ers, he remarked: ¿
'Well, I guess he must have been
talking to himself when, it happen-
ed.'
Shakspeare defines a man ashaving
seven ages, wbefeas, we accord hir
two: the first is chidhood, wl
teeth/ and the last ia
its 'teeth tfut him.'
Éé
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Marschalk, Andrew, Sr. The Weekly Independent. (Belton, Tex.), Vol. 2, No. 32, Ed. 1 Saturday, December 5, 1857, newspaper, December 5, 1857; Belton, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth180550/m1/1/?q=green+energy: accessed July 17, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting The Dolph Briscoe Center for American History.