The Rice Thresher (Houston, Tex.), Vol. 77, No. 26, Ed. 1 Sunday, April 1, 1990 Page: 4 of 8
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4 SUNDAY, APRIL 1, 1990 THE RICE TRASHER
HAVE YOU EVER SEEN AN ELEPHANT..
Rice orgasmic over RMC mud metal bash
BY TEAM KARROLL
D
udes! Are you going to
Rupp's Metal Mania Madhouse?
Thousands of thrashers from all
over the United States gathered
in one spot. It'll be thrasher's
royale... It'll be gnarl with a
"g"—G-N-A-R-L. Gnarl.
My parents just shelled out
heavy bucks after the last Dio
concert to fix my old noggin', but
now I'm itchin' to break out the
stitches and shit... Wait a
minute, dude. What was I
talking about? Oh man...
Oh, I remember—the rockin'
heavy metal fest. If you can
remember back to last year's
Carlsbad Invitational (hard for
me to do, man—rny brain cells
just can't do that kind of heavy
back tracking) you'll remember
how totally radical it was. Heads
were banging everywhere. If last
year's slam fest is any indica-
tion, then the Rupp Madhouse
will be the rockinest stoner
n
caw
i ftmlf"*®
soir6e EVER. Dudes.
The fiesta begins with lead-
off band Young and Hung, who'll
be jamming with some rocking
tracks from their mega-album
Toolin' for Anus. These dudes
caused rioting in all the old age
homes in Scranton, PA two
years ago. They were supposed
to be touring the country but
their lead singer, Adolph
Rectum, lost the map and van
keys in a pay toilet near Duluth
But heavy metalers be
praised—Young and Hung are
back!
And just when you thought
that all your headbanging
fantasies had BEEN REALIZED,
along comes that messiah of
the thrashing sounds, that
ultimate warlord of metal—
Father Abraham in Smurfland!
This is the band that brought us
"Smurfing Beer," "Do It To Me
Smurfways," and you know all
the rest. Father Abraham in
Smurfland is the greatest metal
band EVER. Forget Anthrax,
forget Ratt, forget Barry Ma-
nilow. This band is number one.
They'll be playing all of their
r
Fine dining at La
Kitchen Centrale
Eating
Out
BY ZEN THERESAKOFF
L
•a Kitchen Centrale (at
nine convenient locations on the
Rice Campus) is luxurious for a
fast food chain, a truly high
class establishment complete
with annual membership fee.
Affectionately known as LKC,
the restaurant is known for its
rapid, friendly service and low
calorie entrees. Best of all, no
cash in necessary to purchase
these meals because III Por'em
forsaw the demand for high
quality food and conveniently
arranged for all meals to be
covered in the prepaid dinner
plan.
The eating establishments
are located in each of the eight
residential colleges and the
student center. The atmosphere
of each restaurant varies with
the college. Butcher's ambiance
exudes elegance through
vaulted ceilings and wooden
moulding, while Vice is in a
bolder Art-Deco style. A special
addition to this location is the
balcony which allows visitors to
overlook the aromatic and
palatable foods eaten by the
other patrons.
Happenin' possesses an
ethereal quality—very light and
airy, while Brine maintains an
outdoor atrium complete with
stone walkways (perfect for
romantic strolls to which LKC's
wonderful fare is condusive after
brunch). Real Nice College,
though, is most unique in its
approach to creating a lasting
impression—and odor. It'
mastered the art of the quintes-
sential sewer scent to comple-
ment every meal.
Although the eight colleges
serve similar entrees, each
contributes its unique touch to
the standard fare. Jon's College
provides the extra special drop
of oil in each omelette while
there is a run-off in the greasi-
est hamburger contest between
Sic Fish and Fuckit.
LKC's specialty is the 101
various ways to cook chicken,
rivaled only by the ubiquitous
Pop-eyed's. This ranges from
the typical chicken strips to fried
and barbequed chicken. For the
wilder ones, you can catch a
Chicken Grilla. For the Oriental
connoisseur, LKC prepares
many types of stir fried Cam-
bell's chicken with rice. And for
the Italian artist, LKC has per-
fected Chicken Florentine. And
for water fanatics, there are
chicken submarines. The
restaurant even prepares chick .
peas. Most recently, LKC has
introduced its latest creation:
Chicken Quarantine, which
included specially poxed meat.
The wide variety of food and
low prices mandate Rice
students to frequent this
fabulous franchise. The general
consensus on campus is that
Rice students love LKC. They
will eat it in a boat, on a train, in
the rain. They will eat it, Zenl
am.
greatest mega-hits, some lesser
known bootleg shit, as well as
an awesome sixteen hour drum
solo. They'll make RUPP'S
METAL MANIA MADHOUSE an
event that'll live in infamy.
To top off this orgasmic
metal experience, they're gonna
turn the floor of the RMC into A
MUD PIT!!! That's right dudes—
the ground rumbles, the roof
crumbles. ROADSTERS, ROAD-
STERS, ROADSTERS. A monster
truck and funny car competition
right here ON THE SAME DAY as
Rupp's Metal Mania Madhouse.
It'll be the most tremendous day
EVER. Bigfoot and all the rest
will roll their way all over
campus for hours of Texas-size
mega blast-and-smash. Bring
your economy-size jugs of Bud,
wear your best John Deere hat,
and cheer on your favorite
mountain of metal.
So there it is—metal and
metal. There'll be mind boggling
heavy metal sounds combined
with cerebral churning metal
machines. RUPP'S METAL
MANIA MADHOUSE will be a
fiesta, one that'll be remem-
bered for EVER. Dudes.
Your ultra-ultimate metal fantasy will be realized at Rupp's Metal Mania Madhouse, featuring Young and Hung, pictured above.
Be kool as hell at Billie's Pub
c lubbing
and
STABBING
BY J.C. LOOGIE
H
lello clubbers! This
week's edition features an
exotic locale right under your
noses! It is has all the advan-
tages of many of the pubs I've
reviewed for the Trasher and
more! It's a place where many
a Rice student can be found
hanging out on any given night!
I'm talking about Billie's Pub
(RM Sea Basement: In the door,
to the left, down the stairs, to
the left, down the hall where it
says Billie's Pub)! Let's take a
look-see!
Ah, Billie's!! Just the name
calls to mind the sounds of loud
noise, big-screen satellite T.V.,
cheesy dance music and/or the
radio, student gatherings, major
skanking, and yakety-yak-yaking
on occasion!! Billie's is an ex-
cellent choice if you: a) don't
own a car, b) can't find a car, c)
have no friends with cars, d)
have no friends, or e) have a
buttload of work due tommorrow
morning at 8:00 and need a
little inspiration!!
You can always find a friend
at Billie's (see above)!!! There
are many bartenders eager to
serve you including:
Weave"Dutch-Boy" Waleski,
Dance Habit, "Happy" BabeAc-
tion and, as one bartender de-
scribes them, "A whole bunch
of various bimbo chicks!!!"
Plus, there are always other
diverse and fascinating Rice
students sitting, standing, and
in various other postures for you
to choose from!!! Sometimes,
on one of the "off-nights", you
can even find someone doing
their homework right smack in
the middle of the room!!!
The atmosphere of Willy's is
unmatched by any other club or
pub!!!! The space is ingeniously
divided in two, with a table
seating area next to the bar,
and a lounging area in back
where you can talk, relax, and
even pass out!!!! Dart boards
are featured, along with a
fussball table!!!! If that doesn't
float your boat, you can always
walk down the hall for neato-
torpedo ELECTRONIC VIDEO
GAMES!!!! Scamming and
skanking rank high on the
priority list of most all pubbers
at Billie's!!!! Unfortunately,
there's just not much to choose
from; but you can always drink
until you'll scam on most
anything!!!!
healthy males wanted
as sperm donors
Avoid the middleman.Childless, lonely women looking for men
willing to do it the old-fashioned way. Avoid messy, expensive
cryo-freezing process, by using natural injection device. Low
compensation, but excellent on-the-job perks. Contact
Houston Escorts' Infertility Services.
(Besides, this will give many of you much-needed practice.)
BEFORE 0-WEEK
Michelle Carter
Houston. IX
Jan Casto
Arlington. TX
Deborah Daniels
* \
Felix Dawson
Houston. TX
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Kahn, Greg & Leedy, Sarah J. The Rice Thresher (Houston, Tex.), Vol. 77, No. 26, Ed. 1 Sunday, April 1, 1990, newspaper, April 1, 1990; Houston, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth245749/m1/4/?q=%22Education+-+Colleges+and+Universities+-+Rice+University%22: accessed July 10, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Rice University Woodson Research Center.