The Rattler (San Antonio, Tex.), Vol. 12, No. 13, Ed. 1 Saturday, April 25, 1931 Page: 3 of 4
This newspaper is part of the collection entitled: The Rattler and was provided to The Portal to Texas History by the St. Mary's University Louis J. Blume Library.
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April 25, 1931
THE RATTLER
Page 3
Frosh Football
Choice
The “Freshman” Rattler staff
could not positively, absolutely not
issue this number sans the cus-
tomary, Spanish-customed, All-
School, All-Star, All-American,
All-Upperclassmen football selec-
tion. Herewith is submitted the
Freshman Rattler staff selection,
^all of which comes to show that
we, the Freshmen, are making no
meager use of our observing,
detecting, inspecting, watchful, at-
tentive, heedful, etc., etc., faculties
Suggestions and recommendations
—including “Sweet-O-Dent Askey’s
reputed football authority all have
undergone careful deliberation.
The results? Here they are:
L. E. Samuel “Skinny” Cross—
the fleet-footed lightweight.
“Skinny” receives the round-shap-
ed ones like nobody’s business.
L. T. Clifford “Gigolo” Price—
“Giggy” is there to tear into every-
body’s business. Seldom does a
man go through him.
L. G. Chandler “Tough Egg”
Diehl—“Tuffy’s” stoutness and
corpulence proved to be too much
for the opponents.
C. Adam “Screwy” Resendez—
The man with the forehand and
backhand spinner unanimously
landed a berth at the pivot posi-
tion.
R. G. Percy “Fashion-Plate”
Johnson.—Seldom did a man go
through Percy without his having
to pay for it.
R. T. “Doc” Thornton.—Doc’s
caliber and enviable record as a
“tackle” enabled him to be unan-
imously selected for that danger-
^ ous position.
__ R. E. “Wild” Rothman. Ro-
thy’s sagacity and rough play
made him the right player for the
right coach. Hence his being sel-
ected for that troublesome berth.
R. H. Sam “Hit ’urn” Katz.—
Sammy’s punch and wit are rare
and they surely troubled the op-
ponents and made possible many
touchdowns for the team.
L. H. Lowry “Touchdown”
Tims.—“Touchy” Lowry is fond of
strategical plays, and he makes
good use of them.
Q. B. “Voix Forte” Marke.—
Marke barks out the numerals in
his own fashion, and be sure he is
seldom intimidated.
F. B. Alex “Drive ’em Crazzy”
Wangler.—Alex’s sensational runs
and impromptu speeches on the
field are non-paralleled. He is our
own choice, and nobody else’s.
FAVORITES
Weltens—So quiet and unassum-
ing.
Obriotti—The wolf of Wall
Street. He has cornered the hot
air market.
Day—The fellow with the even
temper. He wasn’t even flurried
when the porter put his shoes in the
baggage car.
Collmann—For his taking ways.
Katz—Katz is a great guy—
Katz.
Reilly—The mildness of a turtle
—dove.
Marlow—For his ability to look
busy and do nothing; to look wise
and..........
Moynahan—For his industry.
He’s called the human dynamo.
Schneider—But we don’t know
why.
This list may look more like the
roll call at Sing-Sing than a group-
ing of admirable students; but,
gentlemen consider the material
presented for the selection.
CHAMINADE CHATTER
One of the recent innovations in
Chaminade hall has been the es-
tablishment of a “diary calendar.”
From the amount of borrowing of
wearing apparel, shaving equip-
ment, and other necessities of col-
lege life, it is apparent that the
boarders in Chaminade hall con-
sider themselves “one, big, happy
family.”
Some of the prominent events
taking place in the hall, and re-
corded, are as follows:
March 2—Seekatz haunts a
house.
March 5—Fournier still sober.
March 9—Cod gets “chicken”.
March 12—Berg and Cod get to
town.
March 14—Ludwig goes to
Church.
March 15—Ernstmann does
“bottle-dance”.
March 16—Askey grows an-
other hair—but loses another
tooth.
March 19—Hughes calls Mary
Catherine Hall (Westmoorland
dorm.)
March 21—Big Whoopee party.
J. Lamb cuts up.
March 22—Lebowitz joins
“Foul Odors”.
March 24—Seekatz goes to
Church.
March 25—Whelan goes to see
Nellie.
March 26—Dikes asks Mildred
if she saw his picture in paper.
March 27—Dikes gives ball to
little boy to root for him.
March 29—Weisa calls Georgia
eight times.
April 1—Brother Louis didn’t
check up. (April Fool).
April 2-7—“Los Angelas” Far-
rell and “Windy” Sexton leave for
Brownsville.
The following combinations were
seen together frequently during
the Easter holidays:
Dikes and Joanel
Dikes and Anne
Dikes and Nancy Lee
Dikes and Mildred
Dikes and Kay
Fussell and Weisa
Askey and Juanita
J. Lamb and Alice
Edwardy and Ruthy
Kelly and Alice (Not above-
mentioned Alice).
Price and Mamie
Richards and Judy
Smith and Tanksy
Berg and Minnie
Christy and Mildred (Same
Mildred as above).
Ludwig and Lucille
Codrington and Bobby
Seekatz and Shannon
Whelan and Nellie
Quinlan and Claudia
Wendler and Mary
“Gigolo” Price, noted lecturer
and globe-trotter, Master Extra-
ordinary of the Dance, has recent-
ly announced the formal opening
of his new Gigolo palace atop the
Travis Park Band pavilion with
the opening date tentatively set
for May 1. Mr. Price’s avowed
purpose in opening his Amuse-
ment center is to offer competition
to the local “taxi-dance” empor-
iums. When recently approached
by a staff reporter concerning his
views on the “ten cents a dance”
plan, his only statement was,
“They’re so boring, don’t you
know?”
-’34-
Purty Goil—Why are you call-
ing on me in a business suit?
Withoff—I mean business.
Getting a Glimpse
of the Goofs
I turned to my attendant and
asked him what my possibilities
were of seeing the inmates of
Ward Four. The guard seemed
surprised at my strange entreaty
and replied that I would have to
obtain special permission from the
State Hospital head before such a
request could be granted. I im-
mediately went to the office of the
superintendent where I obtained
permission to visit this notorious
division of the insane asylum only
after I had put up a very persua-
sive talk. Before I go any fur-
ther I had better explain to the
reader just what Ward Four was
and just what it contained. It
seems that the entire sophomore
class of St. Mary’s university had
been given a mental examination.
The doctor’s suspicions were cor-
rect and the class as a whole had
to be transferred to the state in-
stitute for the weak-minded. The
poor boys were given the entire
fourth ward for their foolish fri-
volities. It was only a matter of
a few weeks before this section of
the hospital obtained a reputation
as the section having the worst
cases. This was one of the rea-
sons it was practically impossible
to obtain consent to visit this cer-
tain part of the asylum.
I made all preparations for the
perilous trip and then set out for
my destination. The first sight to
come within my vision was “Doc-
tor” Richards who was apparently
examining Louis Marke. I went
up to the medico and inquired as
to the trouble of the golden-voiced
Marke. “Doc” replied that Marke
had not complained about any-
thing for several minutes and that
he, the doctor, was trying to find
the trouble.
I heard a large commotion to
my right and you may imagine my
surprise when I saw Percy John-
son and Paul Oswald engaged in
a terrific wrestling match. The
boys were tearing each other to
threads. Burkholder and Campbell
were disinterested onlookers, but
Ternus and Stacker in their typical
cowboy style were jumping up and
down and cheering the partici-
pants.
Decker and Schneider were in a
corner rolling the African domi-
noes and whoopin’ it up in their
customary manner. Sammy Katz
and Francis O’Sullivan were play-
ing marbles with medicine balls,
while to one side Bert Weltens was
wailing loudly because he could
not play with them. Billy Rives
was delivering a sermon to Tim
Williams on the futility of night
life. Strange as it may seem Tim
was thoughtfully drinking in every
word.
Trueheart, Hundley, and Farrel,
the three largest men of their
class, were earnestly fighting over
a book from a prominent corre-
spondence school. I went closer
and noticed that the title was:
“How To Obtain a Magnetic Per-
sonality in Five Lessons.” Before
me was a sight more amazing than
ever. Eddie Neumann was sitting
on a platform with a stick in his
hand and a pair of spectacles
perched on his nose. He cast a
pedagogical eye over the boys be-
fore him; Monroe Hagemann, Law-
rence Moynahan and Gerald My-
ers. These boys had their noses
buried in scientific treatises. And
then, wonder of all wonders, Ed-
die himself began looking at a text
book.
Sirianni was delivering an elo-
quent oration to Compton and
“Racketeer” Rives
The story which follows is the
tale of “Racketeer” Bill Rives, the
King of the campus for the past
nine weeks. An introduction to
Bill is hardly necessary because of
his personality plus (of course,
whatever you think best to add to
this) and also because of the great
circle of friends whom he has re-
cently acquired due to his affilia-
tion with a certain local fraternity.
The origin of Bill’s nickname is
of little importance but here it is.
Not long ago Bill was disgusted
with life in general and his in part-
icular; so he moaned around and
related his troubles to everyone.
His final statement was always
this: “A guy can’t get anywhere
going straight, no money—can’t go
out like the other fellows, I’m go-
ing to be a gangster, a racketeer”.
So now you see “Racketeer” Bill.
Like all gangsters, Bill has his
moll or molls, I should say. The
only trouble Bill has with the
women is that he can’t get rid of
them. You see, Bill wasn’t sat-
isfied with being a racketeer, he
had to join a fraternity besides* and
you know how these girls crave
fraternity men.
It all happened like this. The
King of the campus received an
invitation to a party held by a girl’s
club at one of San Antonio’s select
girls’ schools. Realizing that his so-
cial position was at stake, the Rack-
eteer could not decline. Outfitted
in the wardrobe of some of the gen-
erous souls in Chaminade Hall, our
hero stepped out.
Hardly had Bill entered the parl-
or when his dynamic personality
started to function. The fair
frails could not resist his appealing
virtues. One little lass* in part-
icular, seemed infatuated. If Billy
Boy had only known that she was
to be his nemesis, he would surely
not have encouraged her. In fact,
the situation became so bad that
the social lion voluntarily campus-
ed himself for an indefinite period.
In order to save Billy any un-
necessary embarrassment, the
writer will not disclose some of the
intimate facts concerning this col-
legiate romance. Daily, this
personality plus individual divides
his time between the telephone and
the dictation of letters to his score
or more of secretaries.
Verification of the above incid-
ent can be obtained from his two
running mates, Hash Hustling
Young or Jigaboo Tim Williams.
Schmidt who were soundly sleep-
ing on the floor. John Young and
William Lupe were chasing Ernest
Allerkamp around the room. It
seems that the portly tenor had
suddenly, without any provocation
whatsoever, burst into song. Am
I justified in saying the boys could
not be blamed?
Lai timer and Rothman were
loudly reading bedtime stories
written by the thriving author
Jennings to a group of children
which included such things as
Freddie Wendler, Paul Withoff,
Charley Schaeg and Jim Rogers.
Bill Menger was running around
telling the world the bad effect of
profanity. Phillips, Tims and Mon-
temayor were playing leap frog
and gleefully shouting. Licata was
walking in circles attempting to
find another baseball player as
good as himself. Finally he gave
up in disgust, sat down, pulled an
all-day sucker out of his pocket
and began licking it.
--’34-
Lipstick is the arch-enemy of
secrecy.
Just Imagine
Pape and Miranda in a boxing
match.
Fitzgerald running across the
campus.
Whelan failing to aid his profes-
sors in their lectures.
Plaut forgetting to wipe the
dust off his car, between the cour-
ses.
The Jambers twins coming to
school dressed differently.
“Red” Hughes refusing a date
at Westmoorland.
Oscar Withoff doing his own
math assignment.
Philip Rodriguez forgetting his
Argentine experiences.
Roehl with a week’s growth of
beard.
Frank McHaney keeping his
campus.
McDermott with his hair slicked
down.
Duke coaching the track and
boxing teams.
Fournier and Crosby failling to
sit next to each other during class.
Schwegmann getting an “A” in
chemistry.
Fritz Collins missing his daily
nap during class.
Basil Moss wearing overalls to
school.
Bob Crowdus without a pair of
dice or deck of cards.
Bill Jacoby and Fred Lahour-
cade missing their wrestling match
during math class.
Joe Azanza entertaining his
girl friends without a guitar.
Fred Zalmanzig crooning one of
Rudy Vallee’s love songs.
What would become of the
Gunter corner if the Freshmen
quit congregating there.
Pedro Rodriguez with cigarettes
and matches.
Herb Wiedinger, getting up in.
the midst of a “bull session” and
not saying “Well, boys, I guess
I’ll go to my room and do a little
work.”
-’34--
TRY THIS
This method is guaranteed to
teach you to tie a knot that will be
satisfactory either to a professor
or a fastidious girl; so hearken all
ye devotees of the act of pleasing
either one. We will discuss on-
ly the four-in-hand knot; for les-
sons in tying a bow knot, we glad-
ly recommend you to Zalmanzig.
First, select a tie that looks
strong and capable of resisting
great strain. Place the tie about
your neck with the ends (of the
tie) preferably in front. (That is
merely a convention, however, the
ends may hang down the back if
such is your preference.) Let the
other end be a little longer than
the one end. Grasp the shorter
end securely with the left hand
and circle this end several times,
more, or less, with the longer and
more powerful end. Now try a
few line bucks or center rushes—
we seem to be wandering a little.
Now bring the longer end up and
slip it through the circled end,
over the top and fire at the enemy!
then slip down through the noose
in front. Tighten the ends until
they are practically of the same
length. If you choke to death in
this process, start over again with
the first step. Now as an added
attraction, extricate the fingers,
cutting off as few as possible. If
this method does not give perfect
satisfaction, take it up with con-
gress and get your bonus.
-’34-
Spencer is so conceited he works
cross-word puzzles with a pen.
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St. Mary's University (San Antonio, Tex.). The Rattler (San Antonio, Tex.), Vol. 12, No. 13, Ed. 1 Saturday, April 25, 1931, newspaper, April 25, 1931; San Antonio, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth614968/m1/3/?rotate=270: accessed July 16, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting St. Mary's University Louis J. Blume Library.