Brownwood Bulletin (Brownwood, Tex.), Vol. 113, No. 42, Ed. 1 Sunday, December 2, 2012 Page: 4 of 30
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Sunday, December 2, 2012
4A Brownwood Bulletin
Rumor has it the world is ending this month
Attention, Montgomery Ward shoppers!
There are only 22 shopping days left until
Christmas which, oddly enough, happens
to fall four days after the end of the world,
if you own a Mayan calendar. I suspect that
could lead to some alterations in last-minute
shopping plans.
For those who haven’t kept track of the lat-
est doomsday projection for good ole moth-
er Earth, the gist of the scenario is the Mayan
calendar reaches its conclusion on Dec. 21,
2012 — which has fueled the premise of that
marking the day the world will end.
Predicting the end of the world has an
even lower success rate than a weather
forecaster, and since the start of this decade
alone no fewer than six supposed doomsday
dates have come and gone and we’re still
here. But, to be fair, even a broken clock is
right for two out of 1,440 minutes a day.
So how is the world supposed to end any
way? I’ve seen a lot of doomsday movies and
there’s always a plot. Of course, during those
two-hour flicks Earth seems to crumble in
about a 48-hour time frame, give or take, so
maybe I’m expecting too much too soon.
While the Mayan calendar doesn’t state
how — or even that — the world will end,
there are plenty of theories being expressed.
Some of the cataclysmic events we should be
on the lookout for over the next few weeks
include a galactic realignment, a geomag-
netic reversal, a nuclear war, a collision with
a planet/comet/meteor or a zombie apoca-
lypse — which appears
to be picking up the most
steam.
Since opinions are run-
ning rampant on what ex-
actly will occur on this fate-
ful date, allow me to throw
in my two cents — and yes,
I thought of this one all by
myself. If our planet is go-
ing to meet its demise this
holiday season, I vote for
the earth to be swallowed
whole by a giant Venus fly
trap in space, similar to
Seymour in “Little Shop of Horrors.”
Great, now I’m singing “Suddenly Sey-
mour” in my mind.
Back on topic, if the world is going to end
— regardless of how it happens — there’s
a lot I’d like to accomplish in the next three
weeks.
On the professional front, I’d be up for
covering the Super Bowl or whatever they
call the college football national champion-
ship game when the four-team playoff be-
gins in 2014. Wait, there is no 2014. Scratch
that one off the list. I wonder if I could
petition Roger Goodell to move up the Super
Bowl? Then again, he’s probably too busy
daydreaming of more rules to ruin the NFL.
Personally, I’d like to go back to Niagara
Falls. I visited in 1999 as part of a whirlwind
tour comprised of stops at the baseball, foot-
ball and rock-and-roll halls of fame, as well
as Niagara Falls, in a two-day span.
Apparently I was trying to set some type of
travel record since the trip consisted of a 25-
hour straight shot drive to Binghamton, N.Y.,
followed by a visit to the National Baseball
Hall of Fame and Niagara Falls the next day,
then driving to the outskirts of Cleveland.
The following day, the Rock and Roll Hall
of Fame and Pro Football Hall of Fame were
scratched off the bucket list, and I was in
Cincinnati by nightfall. The following day
was another straight drive back home.
In retrospect, that was stupid.
Now that we’re all approaching the twilight
of our lives here on Earth, I’ve paused to
reflect on the little things I should have done
— like at least spend a full day at each of
those venues. Maybe I can squeeze in a little
vacation?
I’ve been to the Grand Canyon twice now,
so there’s no need to swing by there again.
I was in Vegas when I was 7,1 think, but I
could probably appreciate that trip a little
more now.
A cruise to Alaska seems like a nice idea.
I’m a cold weather fan.0, but Alaska in
December doesn’t quite sound like the best
time for that little adventure.
I’ve never been overseas and really haven’t
had a burning desire to go. The main reason
is construction of a bridge over the Atlantic
and/or Pacific Ocean hasn’t been completed
yet. While the Alaskan cruise sounds nice in
theory, all the information I’ve seen includes
images of land nearby. To be on a cruise
ship, yacht, fishing boat, raft or inner tube
in a body of water with no land in sight —
that’s a negative, squire.
And I’ve already made my one and only
flight, courtesy of Treetop Airlines, to Michi-
gan five years ago during the Howard Payne
Lady Jackets’ national championship season.
I’d actually like to survive the final three
weeks of Earth’s existence and not cut it any
shorter than need be.
I suppose my time would be better spent
coming up with an evacuation plan. The
moon is a tempting getaway, but with it
being made of cheese, and me being in a
spacesuit and unable to take off my helmet
to take a bite, the impending doom here on
Earth seems more appealing.
Oh, and just in case you’re wondering,
while I usually eat up any conspiracy theo-
ries or off the beaten path scenarios I come
across, no, I’m not buying into this one. But
if I’m wrong, at least I’ll be spared from hear-
ing “I told you so.”
To be on the safe side, though, I’m not
starting my Christmas shopping until Dec.
22.
Derrick Stuckfy is the sports editor of the
Brownwood Bulletin. His column appears on
Sundays. He may be reached by e-mail at
derridcstuckly@brownwoodbulletin.com.
EDITORIALS
Beginning to
look a lot like
Christmas
If you’ve driven down Adams Street, then you’ve prob-
ably noticed all the Christmas decorations up around
both the Martin and Frances Lehnis Railroad Museum
and the Depot Civic and Cultural Center.
The fourth annual Christmas Under the Stars Festival
kicks off Thursday with the Spirit of Christmas Lighted
Parade. The lighted parade will feature 100 entries
including marching bands, lighted floats, horses, fire
trucks, costumed characters, stage bands, singers, danc-
ers and Santa Claus.
Organizers with the parade encourage the commu-
nity to spread out along the parade’s new route, which
has been expanded to go completely around the Brown
County Courthouse.
While the festival itself will run from 4 p.m. to 8 p.m.
on Friday and Saturday, residents can start taking advan-
tage of this year’s new feature — an ice skating rink.
The ice skating rink will be open from 10 a.m. to 5
p.m. Monday and Tuesday, 10 a.m. to 7 p.m. Wednesday
and 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. Thursday through Saturday. The
15-minute sessions will cost $2 and includes the skates.
Only two days into December, things are beginning to
look more like Christmas at every turn.
Although it might seem a little weird to ice skate in
70-degree weather, it will be an experience that many
Texans will fully enjoy.
_Brownwood Bulletin
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I... I...
D1DNT WINMAA6&HHH!
FDWEEBAWL
Grammar survival guide’
Your younger brother has a new boat.
Your dad mumbles something inaudible
whenever anyone mentions your hair-
cut. And your mother has begun adding
“really, really” to every sentence in which
she talks about wanting grandkids.
If you’re feeling this bad about
yourself, it must be the holidays. And,
if you’re going to feel bad, you might as
well brush up on the correct way to say
it, along with all the other things you
will surely be forced to utter this season.
So here, just in time for the holidays, is
your grammar and usage social gathering
survival guide.
When people feel guilty, sympathetic
or small, they often say “I feel badly.”
It’s an attempt to speak grammatically,
based on the idea that adverbs modify
verbs. Unfortunately, it’s wrong. The
grammatical choice is “I feel bad.” As
I’ve written in this space before, that’s
because “feel” is a member of a class
of verbs called linking or copular verbs,
which take adjectives as their comple-
ments.
Copular verbs have to do with being or
the senses. You are happily. This coffee
tastes awfully. She seems nicely. Your
hair looks prettily. All these adverbs are
wrong because of the nature of the verbs
they follow. They’re linking verbs, in
these sentences at least, so they all take
adjectives. Just as “I feel bad” should.
When you attend holiday gatherings
this year, people will probably ask how
you’ve been. In a lot of cases, they’re only
looking for a segue to talk about that
new boat. But on off chance someone’s
actually listening, here’s what you should
know about “well” and “good.”
First, though “good” is considered
a less proper response to the question
“How are you?” it isn’t wrong. Dictionary
definitions of the word “good” include
“in good health,” so you can use it this
way if you don’t mind misguided people
thinking you’ve erred.
Second, “well” is both an adverb and
an adjective. As an adjective, it means
“in good health,” making it a good choice
for answering questions about how you
are. But as an adverb, it can modify verbs
like “doing” in “How are you doing?”
Notice how that’s subtly
different from “How are
you?” which calls for an
adjective. If someone
asks how you’re doing
and not just how you
are, “well” is probably
a better response than
“good.”
A Word When you’ve had all
Please the turkey and passive-
aggressiveness you
can stand, you might
June mention that you’re
_ done with your meal.
Sagrande Thjs is the perfect op-
portunity for the family
smarty pants to quip,
“No, you’re finished. A
roast is done.” And, assuming you’ve had
enough wine and are ready for a fight,
here’s what you do: open a dictionary
to the Ds, where you’ll see something
like this: “done. 1. having been carried
out or accomplished; finished. 2. cooked
adequately.”
That’s right, “done” means “finished.”
Not only does it mean finished, but this
dictionary (American Heritage) actually
considers that definition more dominant
than “cooked adequately.” And, no, this
isn’t a recent erosion of a once-pure us-
age. “Done” has meant “finished” for at
about three centuries. Researchers are
baffled as to why anyone has ever argued
otherwise. Their best guess is that a book
called the “Manual of Good English” pub-
lished about 100 years ago, which pushed
opinion as fact, was taken too seriously.
Finally, when you’re waiting for a
certain judgmental aunt or habitually
drunken uncle to arrive, choose your
words carefully. If you say you’re “eager”
to see him or her, you’re putting a posi-
tive spin on your anticipation. If, instead,
you say you’re “anxious” to see that par-
ticular relative, you’re infusing the idea of
dread which, though that’s probably what
you mean, may not be wise to say.
June Casagrande is author of “It Was
the Best of Sentences, It Was the Worst
of Sentences.” She can be reached at
JuneTCN@aoLcom.
OTHER VI >WS
Future of gun control
a major concern
It has come to my atten-
tion that Obama intends
to force gun control and
a complete ban on all
weapons for U.S. citizens
through the signing of
international treaties with
foreign nations.
By the signing of
international treaties of
gun control, the Obama
administration can use the
U.S. State Department to
bypass the normal legisla-
tive process in Congress
once the U.S. citizens will
be subject to the gun laws
created by foreign govern-
ments. These are the laws
that have been developed
and promoted by organi-
zations such as the United
Nations and individuals
such as George Soros and
Michael Bloomberg. The
laws are designed and
intended to the complete
ban and confiscation of all
firearms.
When we wake up yet
another morning and find
that the U.S. has signed a
treaty that requires U.S.
citizens to deliver any fire-
arms they own to a local
government collection and
destruction center or face
imprisonment, there will
be a fight.
Texas, New Mexico, Col-
orado, Nevada, Wyoming,
Alaska, really all the west-
ern, eastern and middle
states, kill deer and elk
for food. Brownwood deer
hunters, if they don’t want
the meat, they can give it
to Good Samaritan for the
less fortunate.
Look at the ranchers
who have tall fences and
acres and acres of land.
Their income comes
from the hunters. Where
will the government be
without their tax money?
Exactly, no money coming
in.
All the gunsmiths would
be out of jobs and so
would the stores that sell
guns. No money for taxes
from them!
We need guns to kill
predators, alligators,
bears, doves, quail,
skunks, badgers, coyotes,
wild hogs and such. We
would not be the United
States of America, but
with the United Nations.
Please pray for America.
Florence Goering
Brownwood
Derrick Stuckly
Editorial Lead and
Sports Editor
Kevin Holamon
Circulation Manager
John Reyes
Pre-press Manager
Wesley Davis
Press Room
Juliet LeMond
Interim Publisher and
Advertising Manager
Karen Wade
Business Manager
Amber Kennamer
Graphics/Design
Marty Baker
Mailroom
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Brownwood, TX 76801
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Stuckly, Derrick. Brownwood Bulletin (Brownwood, Tex.), Vol. 113, No. 42, Ed. 1 Sunday, December 2, 2012, newspaper, December 2, 2012; Brownwood, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth744726/m1/4/?q=green+energy: accessed July 18, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Brownwood Public Library.