The Handout (Fort Worth, Tex.), Vol. 9, No. 2, Ed. 1 Tuesday, September 25, 1923 Page: 3 of 4
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TVpife
INEY FELLERS!
LISTEN HERE!
Have you heard about "the latest"
Dan? "'s »fully one of the most
fciiasual cases imaginable. The thing
About it is—every one of the girls
to be affected just alike. And
all happened the very first dr?
ibey were nhere. Kven the girls
Kemp's hardly know h«w to
Biagn'wr it. They just know it's
're. Now listen, and I'll tell you.
tevi'ryone of them is in love—-with
ncw matron. Mrs. M.orehead—
EXCHANGE
THE HANDOUT
Rhen"
truly,
can you
Dan
Lampasas
guest of
Annapolis
Bd, honestly and
ilaine them
Anyway, with all their hearts, the
girls welcome Mrs. More head
5 their new mother, and they are
oing to show her what wonderful
'bildren they can be.
Mrs. Wynne of Wills Point, who
,ame to Port Worth with Ada, re-
urned home Sunday.
Mrs. S. M. Jameson of Wichita
'alls, who was here to leave us two
ew students in the persons of Helen
nd Ha/.elle, has returned home.
Mr. Ctaude Patterson of Childress
■as in Fort Worth this week, part
,f the time as a guest of Toots
iutcher.
Peggy Montague and Ada Kalptah
vnne were in Forney from Sunday
jjjtil Tuesday.
Mr. Worth IIarm an of
ICS here Friday as a
hercsa Clements.
Mr. Diggs Logan of
aval Academy was here this week
see his sister Kathleen. Kath-
ipn's grandmother, Mrs. G. A. Diggs,
j also here.
Mr. John W. Woods of Dallas was
re for a while to see his daughter
lenevieve.
Jlit-s Reba David:.on of Gatesville,
id an old student of T. W. C., was
re Saturday to see Ora Lee David-
; Mr. Jack dfcirdin came through
jort Worth <mhis way to A. & M.
tad spent the day with his sister
■arcn. According to Karen's ver-
(on, they "tore up tjie town."
i Minnie- Willis spent Sunday with
friends in the city.
[ Frances Hufstuttler spent Sunday
lit with friends in the city.
[ Miss Willie Davis of Clarendon
*ipped over, on her way to Denton,
i a guest of Ina Benson.
[Along with our new mother we
Ian girls also want to welcome the
jtw girls. We don't want you to
homesick at all, 'cause this is
bur home. We all love our little
Esters and we're gladder than we
In say that you're here.
(Mis: Francis Miller, who will
Ich in Gulf Park, Gulfport, Miss.,
lopped over to visit friends in
[ W. C.
iMiss Dorothy Dean spent the week-
Id in city with friends.
(Miss Gladys Jennings spent, the
lek-end in Arlington.
Pliss Irene Faulkner was ill and in
infirmary.
|Mrs. M. R. Durway, who will be
piembered here as Catherine Bolin,
i little left-handed forward, visited
Jre last week. She always said she
Juldn't do it., and here she's gone
did. Wish she'd be here to play
pofcjiall again.
Miss Patsy Porter, a former stu-
fit, stopped to see us on her way
| Trinity. Pat didn't do it; her
jiily moved there.
jli.-.- Mae Claire Harrison, gradu-
i of "22, May Queen for that year
(well as prominent in all student
(vities, visited us last Saturday.
is teaching music at her home
Eastland.
Maybe you'll laugh aL this ex-
change column. Maybe you'll say it
is the strangest one you ever saw
in a college newspaper. But this
space must be filled, and, as yet, we
have not received any publications
i r om the other colleges. So, under
the circumstances, we will have to
be satisfied with nonsense instead
of news. I
And we hope you wilP laugh—
that's what the entire staff is after.
No matter how hard we try, there
will always be someone ready to say,
"I've heard that before."
Pago three
SOME SWEET SOPHOMORE SOPHISTRIES
More Poetry! Alas!
Of all sad words
Man ever spoke,
The saddest are these:
"Can't go; I'm broke.'
Can Yo,u Imagine?
|&uline Veazey not working on
Handout?
liny Lit' without India ink on the
Ind finger of her right hand?
'adys Jennings without something
"t red on
Hargrove with something
[lit red on ?
lia Link culling a class?
ma Grcenman riot cutting class?
P'" Jiinei; with a sheik hat on ?
F'ther can we.
Howard—"What's the differ-
Fauline—"I dreamed the other
night that I died."
Wilda—"What woke you up?"
Polly—"The heat."
you get
Those Parties.
Mother—"What time did
in last night?"
Sleepy Daughter—"At a quarter
of twelve."
"But I was up until almost three,
waiting for you."
"Well, isn't th.rep a quarter of
twelve?"
"Out of 'order, 1 presume," mut-
tered the absent-minded professor,
as he unsuccessfully endeavored to
fill his Eversharp in the library
ink-well.
Dean Isely—"Miss Edith, have you
taken any biology?"
Edith—"No, sir; is there any
missing? I'm sure 1 don't have
II
any.
Proud Mother (to v negro wash-
woman)—"Mandy, have you seen
Miss Mary's fiance?"
Shaking her head emphatically,
the negress replied: "NoVn, I
haven't seen it in the laundry yit."
Motorman (to passenger
smoking a cigar)—"Smoke
other end, sir!"
Passenger—"I can't; it's
ing."
who is
on the
burn-
.Sign in a shoe store read as fol-
lows: "Anybody can have a fit in
here."
The Crime Wave.
"Oh, horrors!" cried the jelly bean,
As the robber pulled his gun;
"Take my dime and signet ring,
But don't touch me,
You dirty thing!"
—(Borrowed.)
There was a young lady going to
South America. She had never seen
the equator and asked the captain
of the boat to let her see it. While
she was looking through the tele-
scope, he pulled a long hair out of
his head and stretched it across the
glass.
She said, "Oh, captain, I see the
equator, and there's a camel walking
across it!"
A New Sonff.
My Laundry, 'tis of thee,
Spoiler of clothes for me,
Of thee I rave;
My clothes you always tear,
All those you cannot wear—
It's more than I can bear,
And so I rave.
My buttons you remove;
My wrath you cannot soothe,
Nor do you try.
My college days you mar,
Your sins so countless are
That when you cross the bar,
Long may you fry.
one yard and two
between
|-s.hman "A fence."
tuet. on the bridge at moon-
light,
I'y'll never meet again;
f'll! Was a southbound heifer,
w a northbound train.
I"ine| looked at a Sophomore,
en In mother's gaze did meet,
'holing," said his mother;
that's not the kind we eat."
Pal pretty hot," said the man,
touched the lighted stove.
I'll" all thy f:inits, I love thee
" aid the moonshiner when
Med ions rusted out.
1'i-ed (in A: tronomy class) —
do i." the moon affect the
Flap).(i "No, i:ir; only the
"Yes," remarked the egg, "my
theatrical venture was a success. I
was cast at the villain and made a
great hit."—I. A. S.
Mrs. Culver (knocking at bedroom
d o o r) — "E i g h t o'clock! Eight
o'clock!"
Marion (sleepily)—"Did you? Bel-
ter call a doctor."
I've often stopped to wonder
At fate's peculiar ways;
For nearly all our famous men
Were born on holidays.
Imagine Such a Thing!
She—"Do you know, I find it so
: much colder out here than it was
1 back home. Then, I wore light gar-
1 merits all winter, but since moving
here I have had to put on heavy
clothing all over. I'm from Oregon,
you know."
polite show of inter-
so? Why, I'm from
I got to thinking about the ancient i
crusades the other day. 'S queer|
that I should have such a thought—
I suppose it was suggested by the
attack 1 was making on a lumpy
bed. You know how it is when you
get to thinking about one thing—
your mind just naturally slumps
along to something else. So it was
with me. I began to ponder on an
important issue of the day.
Apparently the dark, disgraceful,
ancient and dishonorable order of
crepe hangers has established itself
in our midst and tenaciously holds
its own. Crepe hanging is the order
of the day. A gloomy outlook on
everything from life to cabbage, from
love to holey stockings, has studi-
ously cultivated by the elite.
Personally crepe hanging is bad
for my digestion. Who could masti-
cate properly when the seer of the
table prophesies that the ice cream
vvill be "that deadly hickory nut?"
Think of the psychological effect
on that little new girl, who rushes
wildly in, exclaiming over the antici-
pated joy of "open house" when
some professional "hanger" grunts
sourly, "Aw, those affairs are rancid.
You won't go but once."
Sophomores, Vfe the optimistic, the
lighthearted, iMlpful, must take arms
against, this stealthy host. A crusade
must be organized. Arm yourself
with a stout club, a sturdy spirit, an
indomitable courage and go forth
to battle. History will record your
deed; the glory of your valor will
ring down the coming ages like the
C:.'iO bell after "the night before."
Juliette's Letters We're Going to Try It
Athletics
Faculty Cogitations
We're getting all pepped up, girls,
over our athletics. It seems that
the new girls are all interested, and
there isn't an old girl in school who
doesn't thrill at the thought of—
well, say a score of 34-85, and a
free goal pitched after time has
been called. Come on, now, aren't
you just crazy to see that old hunch
of Texas Wild Cats come runnin' in?
Wouldn't you give a hundred dollars
to yell right now: "Yea! team!
Rah! team!" And you new girls
don't know what you've missed until
you can come out for practice, and
show us what you can do. "Strut
your stuff" for us. Then, it's a
wonderful feeling to know that
you're playing for good old T. W.C.!
Basket hall begins this week, and
from the very first we want to make
It GO! We'll have a winning team
by Xmas, or know why!
Six members of the-squad of last
year are with us again. These girls
are Gladys Reagan, Gladys Jennings,
Loree Turner, Floy Friend, Clara
Pringle and Anna Boles. Gladys R.
and Anna Boles will work out for
guards; Gladys J., Loree Turner and
Floy Friend, forwards; and Clara
Pringle, jumping center. Three
other old girls will be out for prac-
tice: Gladys Medley, Louise Welch
and Jessie Lou Kersey. These girls
are strong players. Among the new-
girls are Francis Hufstetler, Roselle
Williams, Ottis Bat'&m'im and Nettie
James, who have said they would
"be there," and we're looking for-
ward to g'Ood. work from all of them.
Tennis.
The tennis courts have been
cleaned off, and one is ready for
use. Mr. Forman reports that he
has already discovered two girls who
will .be good material to help T. W.
C. win the tennis championship next
spring. One of these, Miss Elrod,
comes to us from John Tarleton, and
has been for several years a tennis
player of some repute. Ada K.
Winne, a member of the winning
sophomore team of last year, will
meet Miss Elrod this afternoon in a
trial game of singles.
Election of Captains.
The Sophomore Class, in regular
meeting, elected captains for each
branch of athletics for the year.
Clara Pringle was made basket ball
captain; Gladys Jennings, baseball;
Louise Pucket, tennis, and Gladys
Reagan, track. These girls will act
as captains of the Sophomore team
in each division.
This election was held in each
class, but the editor was unable to
get the names from the other classes.
NOSTALGIA.
SHALL WE?
—Quit curling our hair and let it
grow ?
—Get up at 0:30 and go to break-
fast ?
—Let our roommate read our letters?
—Attempt to keep a tidy room?
—Lend our1 clothes?
—Stop rouging and start a com-
plexion cure?
—Pretend to study?
—Share our boxes from home?
fjut dinner and get thin?
—Shall ve not?
He (with a
est)—"Is that
Missouri."
I sleep with my dog
"You know.
every night."
"That's very unhealthy."
"I know it, but he's used to it,
now."
Ruth W.—"I've got a bad -ujjd,
Mr. Stewart."
Mr. S. "How come?"
Ruth—"Too much outside read
A meeting of the freshman class
was held in the auditorium Tuesday
morning for the purpose of electing
representatives to the legislative
board and The Handout. Allie Bab-
cock and Ruth Crar.v were chosen
representatives to the legislative
board while Gladys Webb, having had
experience as editor-in-chief of a
high school paper, was elected rep-
resentative to Handout.
Now that the Fish have elected all
their class officers, they are in line
for business.
I was once a freshman in college
(You don't say so?) I'll not say
when either (better not). Our school
opened on Wednesday (right in the
middle of the week?). I got by the
first few days because they kept me
in a whirl with registration and other
new distractions. The whirl looked
bigger then to me than it does now.
By the first Sunday things had jos-
tled into something of order. And
Sunday afternoon—wait a minute,
say, that first Sunday afternoon
stretched herself and showed me
what a good Sunday afternoon could
do in lengthening herself when she
tried. It's no use to say time was
heavy and slow for it was worse
than that. The second week closed
about me tighter, and by the second
Sunday afternoon I swelled and wa.<^
almost ready to /float in—tears* yes,
tears and not $ery idle tears either.
I can only remember that I fell
across the bed and stuck my head
under a quilt and just kept swallow-
ing one great big lump of nothing
right after another. I did that in-
tellectually a good deal after that.
No, 1 did not die; I stayed in, for
I am—but, gracious, how home, yes,
homesick, yes, SICK, I did get. I
know I'd have shouted to^aee a dog
from limine. And if mother or dad
had come, well, I would have made
a "stark natal" fool of myself. I
don't mean to say I did fiot anyhow
lots of times. But you know, I
would have dorte so right but in the
open where all the folk could have
"rubbered" at me and made me feel
worse afterward. But don't worry
about that. They did not come.
It now seems to me I was most of
the time sitting £till (as I could) in
the chapel Hall listening to some
speaker for the fortieth time suggest
that 4,r should remember mother and
dad and study and work and do
something great out in the world
some far off day (make a 'fessor out
o' myself I guess). Well, I did all
of them except make something
great.
But homesick I was—too homesick
for it to be respected with the term,
"Nostalgia."
I now only wish to goodness I'd
had sense enough to have looked out
of myself and gone to some other
one and gotten interested in them irr
a friendly way and proved myself a
real friend, and thus have gotten
started earlier on that long road to
the finest of arts, that of making of
myself a sincere, tactful and valu-
able friend, which is the only way
to make real friends.
Annie 'Wagoner Dorm
After Kt'Biestry Lab. 1
Dear Ma:
It sure seems like a long time!
since I seen youall last week. Yes'
everyone is awful nice to me but 1
miss you and Py and corn bread for;
breakfast and feed in' the chic-kin*,
and dryin' the dishes. There was a!
woman named Nigh ten what met mpl
at the train and a ^l named Veaz-"
ley , what talked ,,so much I didn't:
have, to talk for listw to her*. But;
'even if she does seem to talk a little |
extra I ain't sorry I met her for she
is real nice. She took me to the
weddin' Ys sir we had one the first
thing One girl named mister some-
body got married to a perty little
girl called a Fish. (I don't, see why
they, called her that, but I'm keepin'
quiet like youall said and when I find
out I'll tell you.) There were some
children what were „senibrs only you
couldn't tell it at the weddin' what
served us some pink lemonade what
they called punch afterwards in front
of my rooming house.
Our class has a president named
Cric-ket only she ain't she's real. We
sure had a time votin' for her and
getting her to be our president.-'Mis-
ter Iseley let a teacher stay with
us and I sure was relieved for I was
afraid they'd ask me to do some
thing and I couldn't. I went to S.
er is littler than I am, hut holler!
S. and church this a. m. The preach-
I'de sure hate to be in a speaking
contest against him, some other folks
talked but he did a little. My room-
mate is all right only kinda funny
and Mrs. Berry the Ma of us all is
nice and a girl that tells us what
to do and some more what not to do
hasn't told me what not to do yet
but if she does I'm comirr' home only
I don't think she is going to. I'm
feeling funny about, h'oiftu—"-Stf^Sl'll
quit. Please send me my rubbers
and my flannels. I think it's goifig
to turn cold in a few weeks.
Lovingly,
JULIETTE.
cation in which the latter's face be-
came somewhat besmirched or-"' ob-
literated.
Our half of the civilized world on
the 10th of September watched for
the most part with passing interest,
or wim idle curiosity, the same mys-
terious phenomenon, when the moon
slowly passed like a great black disk
across the face of the sun. Slowly
did I say? Well, perhaps, but yet
at the syncopated pace of 2,1(\0
miles per hour (about 35 miles pe ''J
minute). Yes, the moon's shadow
swings along through space at this
speed, however, its shadow upon the
earth's surface does not rush past,
an observer quite Tso 'fast because
we are all getting a free ride on
the old earth in the same direction
in which the moon's shadow is trav-
eling at a, rate of 1,040 miles per
hour, so her shadow overtakes us at
the rate of 1,0G0 miles per hour, or]
about as fast as a cannon ball, so
One day last week we idly wan-
dered into the office of The Hand-
out and dropped wearily into the
chair before the desk. We made
valiant effort's to adjust our spine
to the said chair arid when wo had
attained a position of the greatest
possible comfort we looked into ur
copy of a popular woman's magazine.
1 he first article in the "home de-
partment" gave definite and djtfalltwl -
instructions as to the manner in
which one can construct a .sofa pil-
low, using as a foundation an inner
tube. Considering the, what were
then present circumstances, the arti-
cle interested us strangely. We held
the idea up before us and admired
it. Solid comfort—or rather- hollow
comfort, but comfort by any name
and at whatever cost. Clever idea
that, what? It producer! in us a
feeling of testacy—we climbed to -
viititable heights of glopy as we men-
tally pictured ourselves reclining in
the office chair, luxuriously bolstered
up by a resilient, attractive pillow,
which we knew to be, under its j>urir-
mer overcoat of gaily flowerEIfcre-
tonne, an inner tube.
And then our wilful imagination
turned traitor, and our air castle, or"
rather our air cushion, fell with star-
tling suddenness.
We had a puncture!
the lady's not so slow after all.
Only alter thousands of years of
painful learning have men come to
recognize these unusual coincidences
as mere incidents in this great uni-
verse. To be sure, we are not the
first to recognize their irrelevance,
to human affairs. The ancient Chi-
nese, 2000 B. recorded and de-
scribed such^ things, the Creek phil-
osopher, a mathematician, Thales of
Miletus, is said io have first predict-
ed an eclipse about 580 or 590 B. C.
But getfferal enlightenment, is a slow
process and the inertia of the hu-
man mind is a heavy weight on' the
feet of progress.
EVERETT DRUG CO/'
Drugs, Toilet Articles, Sta-
tionery and Cold Drinks.
We will appreciate your trade.
3200 Ave. F. Free Delivery
*3
SMITH'S M EAT \\ A UK 171'
Sandwiches and - Hamburgers
1509 Vaughn St.
HMIIIIllllllllHliHIIIIIHIIIIIUIlllllllllllllllltllllllMtlllHIUIIIIMiimillilUllllllillfltIM
SPEAKING OF MYSTERIES.
// care for* :
it/our f*loeae/~ 4
> •'
JlSuu/ it arth3tbu/&t£
Boldon '73oJwe££
Bradley
Beauty
Comfort
Shop
Nine Years' Kxperienee in
Permanent Waving*
208 W. 7th St. Lamar 4727
We have recently been afforded oc-
cular manifestation of one of the
most perplexing, awe-inspiring and
terrifying mysteries that touch hu-
ma,p experience. Not more than a
thousand years ago men fell upon
their faces irr fear, tortured their
bodies in mortal agony, kings trem-
bled, armies fled, priests offered sac-
rifices and magicians "cashed in"—
all because the lady of the night and
the monarch of the day had an alter-
Mary had a little knee,
She kept it hid away;
'Twas clothed that none might heai
or see
Because it knocked, they say!
—Drexcrd.
Tripolis
Confectionery
1112 Main St.
Extends it hearty invitation
to T. W. C. students lo "visit
them.
l.iin Street
Vi one —7'7'jf
Don't forget that the
PtyLY HAKERY
is alwavs readv to serve the
T. YV. C. GIRLS—R. 0284
Listen, Girls!
Send Your Cleaning lt>
Sanders Dry
Cleanerfi
(Your Neighbor)
Post dale !I7
Presenting a Ne w Gore Pit nip
o i
"THAIS"
•All Black Satin
Patent Leather
Otter or Beige
Per Pair
THE "ANKLETTE", divide* honor.-, with the
Gore models, and th- y) are here in many beauti-
ful styles and materials. Per pair, $12.50 to
$1(5.50.
Many new, smart si rap effects and htfe (Klmds,
made of all the wanted leal hers and fabric:!,
await your selection. They are priced
$(,.50, $7.50, SI0.00 and up i;> SI6.50
11
lit
<sl
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The Handout (Fort Worth, Tex.), Vol. 9, No. 2, Ed. 1 Tuesday, September 25, 1923, newspaper, September 25, 1923; Fort Worth, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth771081/m1/3/: accessed May 6, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Texas Wesleyan University.