San Antonio Register (San Antonio, Tex.), Vol. 69, No. 9, Ed. 1 Thursday, August 17, 2000 Page: 4 of 12
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's Dissatisfaction: Can It Be Beautifkil?
Dima Lamb, Aesthetic ReaUsm Consultant
ii.
some
Mr
m
am proud
to put before
you today this
exceedingly
fine article by
Lynette Abel.
________ who
is a writer, and a Consultations
Coordinator at the Aesthetic
Realism Foundation, was bom in
Syracuse, New York and later
lived in Alexandria, Virginia.
She resides now in New York
City with her husband Michael
Palmer where both are studying
in classes to teach Aesthetic
Realism taught by the Class
Chairman Ellen Reiss.
Dissatisfaction: Good & Bad
By Lynette Abel
Dissatisfaction is something
everyone has every day simply
by being alive. And I learned
from Aesthetic Realism that
there are two kinds of dissatis-
faction: one that is beautiful,
other that is ugly. The finest
things humanity has gotten to
came from beautiful dissatis-
faction—from a desire for more
knowledge and greater fairness
to people and the world.
Dissatisfaction that is ugly
arises from the feeling that noth-
ing is good enough for us, that
we are surrounded by inferior
people in a cold, insensitive
world. This feeling is contempt,
and while it seems to satisfy the
self as superior, Aesthetic Real-
ism shows it is the most debili-
tating thing in us and makes us
loathe ourselves. It is why 1 felt,
in the years before I knew Aes-
thetic Realism, that life was
passing me by.
The Fight in a Girl
Growing up in the 1950s, I
loved to explore the woods be-
hind our house. One day I saw a
newly hatched bird fall from its
nest, and the motion of its little
heart showed through its trans-
parent body. I had a true dis-
satisfaction: 1 couldn’t bear to
. leave it, and I brought it home.
There was much I didn’t know
but I felt compelled to learn all I
pould to take care of it The first
thing I found out was, contrary
to what I thought, that birds ate
very little, was they eat about 3
times their body weight a day!
Each day the neighborhood chil-
dren would bring us worms they
had found for this little bird. I
felt a deep, happy satisfaction as
it grew all it’s feathers in about
three weeks, and thrived.
I alio loved the tap dance
lessons I began taking. I have
seen, through my study of Aes-
thetic Realism, that tap dancing
is so satisfying because it puts
together opposites: order and
ftsmtom, precision and wild-
ness—opposites I was looking to
put together in myself, growing
up amid much commotion in
our home of 6 very active chil-
dren. But 1 became dissatisfied
with tap, as I did with lessons
in ballet, piano, and clarinet. If
things didn’t come easily, I soon
became dissatisfied, and would
just up and quit.
In his lecture Aesthetic Real-
ism and Dissatisfaction, Mr
Siegel explains: “We want to
think that things have meaning,
but something also wants us to
think that nothing matters at all.
...As soon as we have pleasure
in finding things wrong, we are
really in the dull devil’s camp,
and many people do that. If they
kept on being satisfied they
would lose their own importance,
so they arrange, unconsciously,
to be dissatisfied.’’
“We want to think that
things have meaning,
but something also
wants us to think that
nothing matters at
all.” —Eli Siegel
Though I felt ashamed, I pre-
ferred the contemptuous “pleas-
ure in finding things wrong,”
thinking the more I didn’t like
things, the more distinguished
I was—from removing every
onion, green pepper, and mush-
room from the spaghetti sauce
my mother prepared, to being
displeased with every person I
knew. Other people, I thought,
were so easily satisfied, / had
better taste, was harder to please,
and therefore was more sensitive.
Meanwhile, I was not sensitive
to the feelings of my parents or
my five brothers and sisters. I
was selfish and sulky a lot of the
time. But this unjust dissatisfac-
tion with things 1 have seen packs
a wallop. As a young woman
others might have thought was
fortunate, this was not what I
felt. These are lines I wrote in
high school, like many I wrote
years after, in which I saw my-
self as good and as hurt in a
cruel, unfeeling world:
Rejection from the beginning
CRIME TIP
Public Transportation
Safety
Public Transportation, something
that we all hate, but a service that
many of us depend on to get to work,
church and to the grocery store. A
"necessary evil" one might say, but
those of us who have to use the bus
Sknow thatit is just plain necessary to
•get us to and fro’.
•The fact that tnasit buses are fill) of
fraying’ patrons, could signal to a
;criminal that buses are good places
to find potential vkrtnu. Many times
people who ride public transportation
are found asleep la their seats, not
paying attention to their valuables
Army & Air Force
HOMETOWN
NEWS
When riding
we need to be
to be alert and exercise good
precautions. The
tips for patrons
Plagued the child’s destined
life. /
Sadness and misery were
characteristic
Although goodness bloomed
hsmtifia child’s heart.
felt set up,
other I felt
the person he wrote this t
hardly mg. I Nattered him
turn, but I became increasingly
dissatisfied. “Why,** I thought,
This child is not tolerated,
But completely alone in his
world.
Society is ignorant of this
child.
There will never be a point
of understanding ...
In using that word never 1 was
changing a possibly true dissatis-
faction—not being known—into
a dull victory for myself. How I
needed to know what Aesthetic
Realism so kindly teaches: that
my happiness depended on being
beautifully dissatisfied with my
own injustice
to people and
to the world.
What Mr.
Siegel writes
in the lecture
describes and
criticizes the
hurtful choice
I was making: “Persons would
rather be dissatisfied with the
world than unconsciously dis-
satisfied with what they take to
be themselves. In a choice be-
tween changing something in
themselves and therefore think-
ing they have done something
wrong, or finding misery from
the world—there is a tendency
to say, ‘I’d rather have myself
and be miserable than change
what I am and find more ac-
curate pleasure in the world.’”
Dissatisfaction and Love
Like many women, I thought the
greatest satisfaction in life would
come from the admiration and
love of a man: through these, all
my unhappiness and self-doubt
would melt away. At age 20 I
met Mark Statler, and I hoped
he would be the one. Mark was
good-looking and very flattering.
I thought this was love: two peo-
ple seeing each other as wonder-
ful, more important than anything
else. On a birthday card he sent
me were these words: “Once in
a lifetime, you find someone
special; I’ve found that once in
a lifetime with you.” And he
added: “You have so much going
for you....Anything you want,
Babe, is yours for the asking.”
This was what I had wanted to
hear from a man! But I did have
To learn more about Aesthetic
Realism, the philosophy founded
by the great American poet and
educator, Eli Siegel, please contact
the Aesthetic Realism Foundation,
a not-for-profit educational foun-
dation, at 141 Greene Street,
NYC 10012, (212) 777-4490;
www.AestheticRealism.ora.
the bus. * Don't let yourself doze off
or become loo engrossed in a book or
magazine. * Keep your purse,
packages and other belongings on
your lap, Don't leave them on an
empty seat. * Avoid displaying
valuables, cash or other belongings
on public transportation. * Observe
the behavior of those around you, if
you feel threatened or uneasy, change
your seat and advise the driver. *
Never carry more money than you
can afford to lose, carry only what
you need!___
Yours faithfully
Ptlm. W. Herring #0442, Crime
Prevention Unit.
Army Pvt. Deedra S.
Murray has graduated from the
chaplain assistant training course
at Fort Jackson, Columbia, S.C.
The course emphasized religious
support, development of
interpersonal skills, and unit
ministry support to soldiers and
family members. The support
training provided services in a
battlefield environment and battle
fatigue casualty care.
Religious support classes taught
students to prepare altars for
Protestant, Catholic, Jewish, and
Orthodox services, and stressed
the importance of being
knowledgeable of all faith groups
represented in the Army.
Murray earned distinction as an
We’re breaking ground at
SPRING VIEW
HOPE VI
We’re ready to start building an exciting new complex of
affordable homes on the city’s east side. Help us celebrate!
Monday, August 21,10:00 am,
E. Commerce at Rio Grande.
FREE SEMINAR for first-time home buyers
Monday, August 21
3-6:30 pm (your choice of 4 one-hour seminars)
700 Garda (at E. Commerce)
Leam how you, too, can qualify for loans and own your
own home. Call 220-3279 for Information.
K * t 1
BL
to was
in re-
hadn’t Mark asked me to marry
him if he found me so ’spe-
cial*?** I decided to date
thought this was the greatest
satisfaction—having
several men
desirous of me at the same
time—I felt so low I could hard-
ly drag myself through classes.
And while I tried to convince
myself Mark would be the an-
swer to all my pain, distrust and
anger grew between us and our
relationship ended bitterly.
In an Aesthetic Realism class
years after, Mr. Siegel asked me
questions about that time which
enabled my disappointment to
become useful self-questioning
and knowledge. “Do you think,**
he asked, “your chief hurt in life*
is because you have two mo-
tives: justice and glorification?”
He explained, “Justice should
always win over glorification.
To have the purpose of being
interested in someone to glorify
oneself is hideous. Should one
see a person to see the whole
world better or to glorify one-
self?” In another class Mr. Siegel
said, “The greatest repression is
of our desire to be just to what
is not ourselves*’; and he asked,
“Do you know how great the in-
stinct to be just is in you?...As
soon as you know a person, you
should have a tremendous desire
to be just to that person!”
I love Mr. Siegel’s passion
for justice. And I love him for
bringing out and strengthening
the best thing in me: my desire
to know and be fair to things and
people close to me and across
continents, to history and litera-
ture, to everything. Recently, my
husband Michael Palmer and I
celebrated our sixth wedding
anniversary, and my gratitude to
Aesthetic Realism is boundless
for the education we are receiv-
ing. To know that with every
year I can be deeper about who
my husband is, and through
knowing him like the whole
world more, makes me proud!
A service oMhe San Antonio Housing Authority Homeownership Corporation
of Janie A.
H0, San
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1119
Twolvo (12) Replacement and Thro# (3)
DualfFusI Sedans VIA Project #00-070
Ono (1) Fifteen Passenger Van -VIA Project #
At that time bids wW be opened and read aloud. Bid documents i
bo obtained from the VIA Procurement Office, 1720 North Fh
Street San Antonio, Texas 73212. Bide received after the
data specified in the bid document wHI not be considered.
(P.O. • 217SSM - run I
PUBLIC NOTICE
Disadvantaged Business Enterprise (DBE) Goal for
Federal Fiscal Ysar 2001 and DBE Program
VIA Metropolitan Transit hereby announces its proposed
2001 DBE Goal of 15%. The proposed goal a
methodology is available for inspection behest
8:00am and 5:00pm, Monday through Friday, beginning August
2000 until September 01, 2000 at VIA’s DEO Office, 800 West
Myrtle. Suita 204, San Antonio, TX 78212.
I Fiscal Year
joal setting
is hours <*
Q August 1.
VIA Metropolitan Transit and the Department of Transportation
accept comments on the DBE Goal for 45 days beginning
01,2000 and ending September 16,2000.
Additionally, VIA hereby announces the approval of our p&E
Program. In compliance with 49 CFR Part 26, the Department of
Transportation (DOT) DBE regulations published in the Federal
Register on February 2, 1999 and effective March 4, 1999, VIA
Metropolitan Transit. (VIA) submitted its DBE Program to the Federal
Transit Administration (FTA) for approval by the September 1,1999
deadline The approved DBE Program is available for inspection
between the hours of 8:00am and 5:00pm. Monday through Friday,
at VIA’s DEO Office, 800 West Myrtle, Suite 204, San Antonio, TX
78212.
Comments can be sent to:
i ' * ?
’
Sylvia A. Enriquez, DBE Officer
VIA Metropolitan Transit
P.O. Box 12489
San Antonio. TX 78212
210-362-2075
21 0-362-2 576 (Fax)
syivia.enriquezQviainfo.net
(P.O. # 2169792 - run 09/17*00)
...................................................
SAN ANTONIO HOUSING AUTHORITY
INVITATION FOR BIDS
The San Antonio Housing Authority (SAHA) is bidding the
\ project known as:
HENRY B. GONZALEZ APARTMENTS, TEX8 -51
RECONSTRUCTION OF PORTE’ COCHERE
Antonio. 78212 by leaving a $25 deposit check made out to SAHA
Bids will be received at SAHA's Office of Architectural and
Construction Services, 818 S. Flores, Suite 211, until 2:00 p.m.
local time on Wednesday, September 6, 2000, at which time all
bids will be publicly opened and read aloud. The pre-bid meeting
will be held at Henry B. Gonzalez Apartments’ Community Room,
5811 Ingram Road, San Antonio, Texas on Wednesday, August
23,2000, at 10:00 a.m.
Inquiries may be directed to Sue Ann Pemberton, Mainstreet
Architects at (210) 732-9268.
;S«.
SAN ANTONIO HOUSING AUTHORITY
MELVIN L. BRAZIEL, President and CEO
(P.O. #82168 - run 8/10,8/17,8/24 & 8/31/08)
San Antonio Register
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San Antonio Register (San Antonio, Tex.), Vol. 69, No. 9, Ed. 1 Thursday, August 17, 2000, newspaper, August 17, 2000; San Antonio, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth842257/m1/4/?q=music: accessed June 30, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting UT San Antonio Libraries Special Collections.