The Daily Bulletin (Brownwood, Tex.), Ed. 1 Sunday, December 10, 1916 Page: 1 of 16
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i. Si
12 - 5-
PUtT ONE
TSK BROWHWOOD DULY BULLETIN BBOW1TWOOD. TEXAS.
' Sunday Die. in-mi
PAGE THREE
Join omn
You Can Star
With
a
PLAN OF THE CLUB
The plan is Simple: You begin with a certain amount lc 2c 5c or 10c
and increase your deposit the same amount each week. Or you caV begin with
a. certain amount uue $i.uu .uu or any amount and deposit ' the same
amount each week.
HOW TO JOfN
Look at the different Clubs in table below and select the one you wish to
join the Ic 2c 5c 10c 50c $1.00 or $5.0QrTanypf the clubs; then come to
our Bank with the first weekly payment. We will mike you a member of the
Club and give you a ChristmasJBanking Club Book shoeing the Club you have
joined. . j
H-
Everybody Can Join Men and Women Boys and Girls Little Children the Baby You can take4 out memberships for your fam-
ily and your friends An employer can take out membership for hisemployes. We will welcome everyone. Whafthe different clubs will pay you
lcClub
PATXEXTS
1st Week lc
2nd Week 2c
3rd Week 3c
Increase Every Week
by lc
Total -in 50 "Wests
$12.75
2 c Club
PAYJCEXTS
1st Week 2c
2nd Week 4c
3rd Week 6c
Increase Every 'Week
by 2c
Total in 50 Weeks
$25.50
5c Club
PATIENTS
1st Week 5c
1st Week 10c
3rd Week 15c
Increase Every Week
by 5c
Total in 50 Weeks
$63.75
10c Club
PAYXEXTS
2nd Week 10c
2nd Week ..... 20c
3rd Week 30c
Increase Every Week
by 10c
Total in 50 Weeks -
$127.50
50c Club
PAYMENTS
1st Week" 50c
2nd Week 50c'
3rd Week 50c
Deposit 50c Every
Week
Total in 50 Weeks
$25.00
$1.00 Club
PAYMENTS
1st Week $1.00
2nd Week $1.00
3rd Week . . . $1.00
Deposit. $1.00 Every
Week
Total in 50 Weeks
$50.00
$5.00 Club
PAYMENTS
1st Week .... $5.00
2nd Week . . . $500
3rd Week ... $5.00
Deposit $3.00 Every
Week
Total in 50 Weeks
$250.00
X CLUB
For
$2 $3 $4
$10 or
Any Amount
YOU CAN BEGIN WITH THE LARGEST PAYMENT FIRST AND DECREASE YOUR PAYMENTS EACH WEEK
THE REASONS FOR THE CLUB
To provide i way for thoe of moderate and even small means to bank their money.
To teach' -the saving habit" to those who hav never learned it.
It makes your pennies nickels and dime often foolishly spent grow into dollars; dollars
grow into a fortune. Start your fortune today.
To give you a Bank connection and skow you how our Bank can be of service to you.
FOR OLD AND YOUNG The sensible thing for all parents to do is to join our Christmas
Banking Club and also -put every memoer 01 ineir iamuy mw n. xms win iswu wm tue
value of money and how to bank and HAVE MONEY. Maybe this little start you give them
now may some day set them up in business or l)uy them a home.
How often have you wished that your parents had taught you early the value of banking
your money. You would be well off today. Don't make the same mistake with your children.
THE CITIZENS NATIONAL BANK BROWN WOOD TEX.
.Nation's Most Famous Men
Hear Themselves Ridiculed
i
at Annual Gridiron Dinner
(Continued from Page 1 Part 1)
cox who said he (Murphy) was "in
Dutch." Murphy replied that he
"took a gambler's chance and lost"
and" then sang:
Forsaken forsaken
The Tammany Tiger
Is turned out to die;
I go to the White House.
And find the door barred
For Wilson still lives there
And his heart is so hard.
With exit of Murphy the dialogue
between the national chairmen con-
tinued: W.illcox By the way did William
J. Bryan participate in this campaign?
McCormick Certainly. He support
ed the President loyally
Willcox Perhaps. But he must
liave had laryngitis. His voice didn't
carry as far as usual. . 3
McCormick Speaking of weak
vois. the State of Maine had some
impediment in its speech on Novem-
ber 7 From 17000 in September to
4000 is. some drop.
Willcox But Colonel Roosevelt
did not suffer from vocal trouble. His
voice was heard throughout the land.
McCormick So I -noticed from the
returns. He helped us in the winning
of the West.
Here the voice of Roosevelt in-
terrupted the colloquy saying: I
am now devoting" my attention to my
dutlts as a grandfather. But my
health is bully In 1920 the country
will know -where to find me. My ad-
dress is still at Oyster Bay.
Willcox What about New Jersey?
McCormick Hush hush we will
talk of other things.
Willcox -Well; how about Indiana.'
McCormick We saved .Tom Mar-
shall out of that wreck;
Willcox That's so. He was run-
ning wasn't he. I wonder what went
wrong in Kansas.
Kansas I can tell you. Two dollar
wheat ten dollar hogs and player
pianos
Willcox Do you think he kept you
out of war?
K&vme I dunno. But somebody
got us out of debt.
The National chairmen continued to
comment referring to the suffragists
Henry Ford and the lonesome "Demon
Rum" who had just been thrown out
of several more states. The "Demon
Rum" Kane a nathntlfi cnni? dp-nletlnz
the hopeless future for "Demon Rumjfessor in.Iew Jersey
and his rummy crew" when the fol-J
lies closed with the following:
McCormick It's funny isn't it?
Willcox What's funny? If anything
is funnr tell it to me. I. need a
laugh.
McCormick It's funny how the j
world keeps going around no matter
1 And keens the party on its trucks I Tumulty Guilty Judge.
IWh'a is in short the whip de luxe?; Chief Judge Suppose the Cabinet '
I Jim Ham. job only 'pays an astral salary? ;
Who followed Hughes upon the trail! Tumulty Then hand it to. somebody
;And tied. a tin can to his tail; else. Both my astral body and my-j
tAnd put the -din" in dinner pail? self aTC practical men. i
Who is the White House blushing pet ker next appeared.
The truly only one best bet. Announcer Mercy! It's the hero of j
nr tha TVmirvrnHe RtnnrtMt sot? Vallev Force the Hon. Newton D.
Jim Ham. Baker.
Col. George Harvey who predicted Chief Juuge Greetings Mr Baker
the election of Hughes by a large ma-' In the name of George Washington
Jority next appeared and was chlded and his army. What news from the
by the vaudeville agent. Harvey said border? .
he was a lightning calculator and ! Baker Aw forget that. The elec-
that he had predicted the first nomin-itlon is over.
ation and election of a "certain pro- Chief Judge What! No more plots?
.Then what do you want?
Baker I want a job on the Su-
TTnrvnv Moreover fmir vonrq acn.
I calculated exactly what electoral Preme Court: rm from 0hl0'
votes each of the three candidates
would have.
Agent Wonderful Have you done
any of the same kind of calculating
lately?
Harvey (truculently) If you are
what happens. going to be personal ru not stay
Willcox Yes but it will move very here and stand for it. I don't think
slowly for the next four years; I want a Job from you anyway. The
Next came a vaudeville sketch the North American Review is good
scene a theatrical booking office with enough vaudeville for me; Good Day!
Roosevelt and Bryan as "the Criss-1 Another travesty entitled the "Ghost
Cross twins" Senator lewls Colonel
George Harvey and the other nation-
al figures applying for engagements.
Roosevelt and Bryan were first tried
out
T. R.
The Victoria Cross I'd greatly prize;
The Iron Cross I do despise; ' j
But if I can't the hero be
Some medals of my own you'll see
They'll get the double cross from ME
Bryan
They got the cross of gold from me;
The N'obel Prize I've hoped to. see
Xow humbly bearing my . cross I
come
To say "You shall not crucify the
bum
Upon the cursed cross of RUM'r
T. R Say Willie what is the dif-
ference between what you intend to
do to the Democratic Party and what
I have done to the Republican Party?
Bryan Well Teddy what Is the
difference?
T. R. You intend to make the
Democratic party dry and I have
made the Republican party Sweat
When T. R. and Bryan had been
ordered out of the booking office
Senator Lewis of Illinois whip of the
Senate appeared and recited a long
series of verses of which the follow-
ing are typical:
Who guides unruly Senate bucks !
Chief Judco Ohio was not close
enough Mr. Baker. What else?
Baker Then I'll stay where I am. I
won't resign.
Chief Judge Docs the President
know that?
Baker Sh-h.- Right under your
belt I'm afraid not
Chief Judge Why don't you' tell
him.?
Baker No; you tell him. Be a nice
judge and. tell him. But don't say
it came from me. You know ho just
might
the astral spirits of aspirants for1 wnieuuuBi-i
positions in the new Cabinet Spirits Stand back Mr. Baker
of Secretary of Commerce Redfield.l Counsellor Polk of the State De-
Henry Ford Postmaster General Bur- partmcnt appeared in quest of Sccre-
leson Col. House Secretary TumuJ-tary Lamd118 Jb-
ty Vance McCormick. Frank L Polk. ' Chief Judge - Why even Bryan
Counsellor to the State . Department couiani num umu
nil tn tin rrf. . irOlK i. Kuuw uuu utj t"w
menfolk followed the gayly dressed '
Easterners to the train and one of
. . jt )
tne native women aaaressing uur in-
serted sisters exclaimed:
First Woman Sovereign women of
Kldderville: Our men folk have desert
ed us to trail after them stuck up.
coKcle-eyed. just-fawncey shilly-shal
ly fumps from the effete East Now
my idea Is to teach them a lesson.
Let us rise as one man I mean one
woman and show them weak-kneed
men who the real politicians are. As
William Allen White said: "The nana
that churns the butter is the hand
that rules the world.'- Come on
women;. not a man in Kldderville gets
a hot meal or a clean shirt until he
promises to vote against tho monkey
dinner bunch. When the returns are
In ytnTll find there ain't nothing the
matter with Kansas. Come on girls!.
Electric Toasters Stores and per-
colators at Looney's for less than you
can buy them elsewhere.
Alaskan Farmery
Have Good Season
Skit" was cast in a "Spook Court"
with a Court sitting in Judgment on
and others appeared all to
jected by the Judges. When the 'an
nouncer heralded the spirit of Henry
Ford the astral bodyof the Michigan
manufacturer arrived "rftttlhfg a
lot of tin 'cans."
Chief Judge The music is familiar.
What seek you Mr. Ford?
Ford I want to be Secretary of the
Treasury. " b
Chief Judge Why?
Ford So I can find out how to
make money.
him
but
tho Hiram Johnson.
Chief Judge What's the Hiram
Johnson?
Polk Ask Hughes.
Chief Judge We can't find him.
PolkWell it's a lemon grown in
California.
Another sketch was a travesty on
the special train load of Eastern wom-
en who campaigned in tho West for
Hughes. Tho scene was laid in. Kid-iiM-villp.
KnnsaB. where tho "Million-
Chief Judge-Warden . sweep .out aire special" arrived amid town of
the padded Cell for Mr. Ford.
Announcer The spirit of Joseph
P. Tumulty Secretary to the Presi-
dent Chief Judg When did you acquire
an astral body Mr. Tumulty?
Tumulty About a week before
election. .
Chief Judge You mean you want
frt hold "vnur Tiresent irib with Tnur
W - - I " g .
whvsttaal hndv and eet into the cab- II IT'S 1
met "villi yvur asirai uvuy i
flcials. townsmen and native women.
Tho suffragists aroused tho jealousy
of the native women when the homo
NLAWCAPUDINE
RELI
WASHINGTON. Dec. 9. Alaskan
crops in 1915 were grown under the
most favorable season for years ac
cording to the annual xcrort of the
four Alaskan agricultural experiment
stations Just published by the De-
partment of Agriculture. Grain rip
ened and matured early and vege-
tables and berries produced abundant
crops.
Excellent results were reported! iin
the development of .a hybrid straw-
berry combining the hardy charac-
teristics of the native stock and tho
quality of fruit of sorts cultivated Jn
the States. Most of the hybrids were-
developed at the Sitka station: in
Southeastern Alaska where agricul-
tural experts predict a still better
berry before long. Certain' varieties
of apples have been grown in the-
coast country and what Is believed to
be the first apple blossom in Cen-
tral Alaska is. reported1 from Ram-
part station 75 miles South of the:
Arctic circle. -4
Many new and early varietiea ol
grain have been produced in Alaska.
Work has been continued in breeding
strains of alfalfa better adapted to
Alaska conditions.
Sheep the reports declare will do
well on Kodiak Island and the coast
region. In normal winters the aal-
mals could maintain themselves witk
little feed it is declared. For th
development of a satisfactory beef
animal it is recommended that yaks
be- imported from Asia for crossing
with hardy cattle. Horse breeding al-
so is recommended for Alaska. i
Electric Toasters Stores and Per--'
colalors at Looney's for less than you
can buy them elsewhere.
SERVICE1
THE ONLY THING WE SELL i-
Service Cars Taxicabs Cabs and Busses at your
Service to any part of the city at any moment.
Service Cars Anywhere.
The only exclusive Transfer Company in .the city
where you know that you can always get
service when you want it.
OPEN DAY AND NIGHT
Armstrong Transfer Co.
Phone 23
Phone 23
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The Daily Bulletin (Brownwood, Tex.), Ed. 1 Sunday, December 10, 1916, newspaper, December 10, 1916; (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth345160/m1/1/?q=music: accessed July 17, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Howard Payne University Library.