Megaphone (Georgetown, Tex.), Vol. 95, No. 12, Ed. 1 Thursday, February 15, 2001 Page: 8 of 8
This newspaper is part of the collection entitled: The Megaphone and was provided to The Portal to Texas History by the Southwestern University.
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8
Backpage
February 15, 2001
A little something
for the ladies
As I’m sure we all are aware, yesterday was Valentine’s Day,
that most useless of holidays, designed so that those of us in rela-
tionships can stop bitching at each other long enough to exchange
paper cards and pieces of candy. Unfortunately, the holiday also often
serves to make those of us without a “special someone” feel lonely
and pathetic Now. I’m not trying to call anyone a loser, but if you
were one of those people who was forced to spend Valentine’s Day
alone in your room eating a Night Hawk steak dinner and watching
reruns of The Facts of Life, have no fear. Help is on the way!
How is this possible? What can 1, or anyone else say that will help
you in your desperate search for love? Well, I’ll tell you a secret. I just
happen to have, in my possession, a little miracle book called How to
Be Popular With Boys. Written in 1984 by an extremely popular col-
lege co-ed named Stacy, this highly relevant dating manual (actually,
I like to think of it as a guide for living) is chock-full of wonderful
advice for any woman looking to make a killing in today’s man meat-
market.
I’ve chosen to include here a few juicy excerpts that are sure-fire
guy-getters So, if you’re a girl who’s ready to come out of her shell,
meet some boys, and get down ‘n dirty in the back seat of an old
Honda, then read on! Rest assured: if you take this valuable advice
to heart, then come next Valentine’s Day, you too will be up to your
elbows in cheap candy and wilted flowers.
- Erin Nau
Dos and Don’ts (from a chapter entitled“Be a lady”)
DO:
-Take the time for a neat appearance. Don’t jump out of bed and
run straight for the bus stop in the morning. Get up a few
minutes early and put thought into your outfit, hairstyle,
makeup.
-Dab a bit of perfume on your neck and wrists; use one brand as
a trademark... it’s a distinguishing characteristic all your
own that boys will remember!
Carry a purse, it’s a great way to keep a hairbrush and mirror
handy, and it eliminates ugly bulges from your pockets.
-Be polite and well-mannered, even reserved, when meeting
new people.
-Let a boy open doors, pay the check, carry heavy objects, get
you a drink at a party...
-Take pride in your athletic prowess, but leave the “jock” side
of your personality on the playing field.
-Act assertively and speak what’s on your mind, but don’t be
overbearing; let others have equal time and be a good
listener.
-Flirt. Don’t be afraid to flash a smile or meaningful glance at
a boy. Amazing things, too, can be done with the tone of
your voice or the angle of your head as you look at him.
DON’T:
-Typecast yourself as “one of the boys.” Always hold your own
when palling around with boys and never imitate their style
of dress, games, backslapping, roughhousing, etc.
-Slouch or walk clumsily; remember, appearance is a total
impression m
-Be loud.
-Curse.
-Divulge private details of your life until you know a boy well,
and even then, some things are better left unsaid.
-Sit with your legs spread-eagle, even in pants.
-Chew gum noisily.
-Use excessive “huhs,” “yeahs,” and “ughs,” in your speech;
never say “ain’t” or anything else that is grammatically^
incorrect.
-Compete with boys. I knew a girl who used to arm wrestle with
boys to prove she was stronger than they; she was quite
intimidating and the butt of more that a few male jokes.
-Be afraid to rumple your clothes a bit or tousle your hair;
nobody likes a stuffed shirt.
-Act too feminine: e.g., drown yourself in suffocating perfume,
play the role of “helpless little girl” to attract attention, harp
on female topics such as “that time of the month.” As 1 hear
popular girls explain over and over again, you have to be
a pal to a boy. If you’re too removed from the male world
he's familiar with, you’ll overwhelm him, and it’ll be hard
to establish a close relationship. Femininity in moderation,
that's the key.
Ask Dr. Jeff
Real life answers to real life questions
Dear Dr. Jeff,
I’m having roommate trou-
bles. One in particular, who
will remain nameless, always
wanders into my room after a
late night of drinking and then
pukes beside my bed-regard-
less of whatever important items
I have placed there. Sometimes
it’s not until I go get a drink
of water in the middle of the-
night, or even the next morn-
ing, that I discover what he has
done. Whenever I confront him,
he’s usually stoned—so anything
I say to him just slides off like
water on a duck's back. I hate
him! What do I do?
Sincerely,
-Frustrated Roommate
Dear Frustrated,
That sounds pretty frustrat-
ing. / would personally hate to
have you as a roomate. Don't
you know how to cut anybody
some slack now and again? And
l think you are completely over-
looking your responsibility in
the whole affair. Look, you know
that when he drinks that he ’U be
coming into your room to puke
beside your bed, yet you continue
to put important items there. It
sounds tike you WANT him to
ruin your important things just
so you have an excuse to get
mad at him. I would suggest that
you get some counseling to learn
to deal with your manipulative
tendencies. And apologizing to
the guy wouldn’t kill ya either.
Dear Dr. Jeff,
This is my first year in col-
lege and I’m feeling kind of...
curious. I want to experiment
with a woman but I’m sorta
scared. How can I get into the
scene?
-Curious in Kurth
Dear Curious,
I can understand your desire
to explore this side of yourself.
There is lots to be curious
about on a sexy lady. Men, too,
although that has nothing to do
with what we’re talking about
here. Anyway, I am referring you
to an expert in this field. She’s
very experienced, and is always
gentle. Do you remember in the
Matrix where everyone had to
see The Oracle? Well, when it
comes to SU and woman-on-
woman exploration, we have
our own Oracle that all curious
young ladies have to visit sooner
or later. Just call Franceana
Campagna and tell her Dr. Jeff
sent you.
Dear Dr. Jeff,
My skanky roommate keeps
luring strange men back to our
apartment after nights of binge
drinking, crystal meth snorting,
and puppy killing. These habits
really don’t bother me, but I am
sick and tired of waking up in
the morning to find a half-naked
guy sprawled out on our couch!
It really puts a cramp in my
.morning Tae Bo routine. What
can I do?
-Mad in McCombs
Dear Mad,
Mad, thank you for writing
in. This is most definitely a
problem, and it needs to stop.
There is only one way for you to
solve this problem. You wouldn't
always be waking up to find
a half-naked guy on the couch
if you went out got drunk, got
laid, and then passed out half-
naked on some guy’s couch for
his roomate to find you.
Well that’s all the time we
have this week. I’m sorry I
couldn t get to all of the letters
sent in, but rest assured that they
will be answered. In the mean-
time, I encourage all my fans to
write in whenever you have a
problem. Please send questions
to folwerj@southwestern.edu.
The good doctor always keeps
things confidential. So until next
week friends, remember: Life is
only as good as your booze is!
The Weekly Rewind
Eighty years ago a^SU...
i
Georgetown citizen addresses SU boys
“Clean Living and Keeping
Fit” Subject Delivered by W.R.
Mood to Y.M.C.A.
Mr. W.R. Mood, graduate of
Southwestern and prominent cit-
izen of Georgetown, spoke to
the Y.M.C.A. Sunday evening on
the subject of “Clean living and
keeping fit.”
He handled the subject in
a clear, authentic, definable
manner. He brought to light some
new things which enter into a life
that is clean and in fit condition.
He gave the boys something
to think about, along that line,
and refreshed their minds of
the infinite possibilities of a life
chaste and clean; and the depths
of degradation reached by a life
which does not conform to the
laws of nature and of God.
Mr Mood’s lecture should
have been heard by every young
man in the University. One of
the worst faults a fellow can very
easily slip into unconsciously is
slackness in his thoughts and
actions concerning those laws of
nature and of Gpd which can
assist him in clean living and
keeping fit.
Never in the history of our
country has there existed such a
looseness of moral ideals. Sev-
eral explanations could be given
for this state of affairs, but one
great fault lies in that the boy is
not taught properly the things he
should know about a clean life.
The lecture was full of
valuable information, and was
expressed in such a concise form
that it was doubled in its effec-
tiveness.
Mr. Mood brought out very
vividly the true worth of a man’s
physical being. He said the care
of it was not to be made light
of. Everyone’s future happiness
directly depends upon the way
he keeps his physical body. And
for that matter, the happiness of
February 15, 1921
those he loves and cares for also
depends upon it.
“Let us think about those
things seriously, with our eyes
turned toward the future, fighting
the temptations of today in view
of the possibilities of tomor-
row.”
*The Weekly Rewind is a
column reprinted from past
Megaphone articles compliments
of Special Collections - A. Frank
Smith Jr., Library Center.
Research contributed by Justin
Harris.
*4*
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Top Ten Places to Take Your Valentine
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1. The un-iyiobil. You can snack here for hours and 3. City Barber. All you need to say is “Baby, I’m want to roll arpund on artificial turf getting raspber- tine’s day Massacre with these wonderful weapons of
then read the paper. Besides, wh^re else can you get getting a haircut for y6u...” she’ll eat it up and you ries all over their body? / f destruction that ripped through the plains people of
the best Dr. Pepper in town AND Duracell batteries spend next to nothing on Valentine’s day. 7. The Cemetery. Angels, crosses, and dead people North America. M \ l
from Mexico? ,No, seriously, the Duracell batteries 4. Sun City. Two words: old people. Or five words: named “Glasscock,” need I say more? 1®. Planet K. Nowhere else cap you say “Honey, I
are written on in Spanish. > , Old people making out. GROSS!!! 8. El Charrito. No explanation is necessary here, really like smoking tobacco from that beautiful water
2. The Melville Alcove. Bopks, music, and leather 5. Segers room. Yes, ladies, his room kicks ass, Just go. r,
pipe, and I would really like to suspend you from the
couches for some serious snogging. Can’t go wrong and so does he! It’s the Eric Segers hour in LC 305!4 9. The McCombs Armory. Guns. The only place celling in THAT leather harness!” ,
mtrnmammm
6. Austin Indoor Soccer Center. Hey, who doesn’t on campus we can have ’em. Celebrate the St. Vilen-
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Megaphone (Georgetown, Tex.), Vol. 95, No. 12, Ed. 1 Thursday, February 15, 2001, newspaper, February 15, 2001; (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth634650/m1/8/?q=War+of+the+Rebellion.: accessed July 6, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Southwestern University.